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Well...I broke up with my new BF and feel awful but more importantly, I miss my EX!

Having a bad night I guess and just need some reassurance that it will get better! It has before, so I hope it will again...I'm just sitting here sad and wondering what my ex is doing...who he's with, and I haven't thought about things like that in a while so why am I now

 

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Hey SoontobeRN-

 

Yeah, I know how you feel...trust me...

 

Of course it will get better with time and distance and in the meantime, you might want to try a technique that helps me sometimes (not a cure...but a little help maybe...)

 

Whenever you find yourself having these thoughts, catch yourself and balance them out with a counter-thought. Either conjure up something that made you unhappy about the relationship, focus on that, and find solace in knowing that is gone as well, that the relationship just wasn't right, and going any further would have only brought you down more. You've got to be fair, right? If the good memories come flooding back it is only fair to bring up some of the not-so-good memories as well...

 

And you can also challenge these thoughts by looking at the advantages of being without this person. You are free to pursue things you enjoy and make you happy. You start thinking about who your ex is with? What he is doing? Think about who you'll be with tomorrow, the next day, or this weekend when you are pursuing a passion, something you enjoy, or a new activity with a best friend who you get to spend more time with now that you are free from a situation that was ultimately not right for you for whatever reason. Or embrace the chance to get in touch with yourself when you are away on a little vacation all to yourself this weekend to the spa. Or maybe something as simple as cracking open a good bottle of wine, and curling up on the couch with a bar of rich chocolate watching your favorite show or movie.

 

Make plans like that in advance so you'll have something to look forward to and focus on.

 

And in the midst of all this effort to think and analyze, you'll get tired and hopefully sleep a little more soundly...

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