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I am upset, stressed, and just wana die after my breakup. I chose the breakup because I thoguht I wanted space, I realize this is a huge mistake, and have explained everything to my ex. He keeps telling me he isnt sure what he wants.. He still care about me and hides his feelings, and he isnt sure he wants to go through the same steps we went through be4 the breakup.... little spats here and there, etc. I want him bak so bad and have backed off from him, although he keeps emailing me, he wont see me in person cuz he thinks its awkward. He still asks what I do everyday and what I do on weekends. I have tried to be short w/ him but this only makes him think I am hiding stuff from him. I wnat him back but should I give up?! I've told him i am going to move on, but he gets all defensive... its like damned if I do, damned if I dont....not sure what to do, please help!!!

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Lets get this right,

you broke up with him,

you want to be back with him

but you are short with him.

you told him i am going to move on, (but he gets all defensive.)

 

What are you doing?

do you or dont you want to get back with him?

You are bouncing all over the place so how is he going to trust what you are saying or doing?

Of course he will get defensive,

of course he will think you are hiding things from him.

Just look at your actions.

Are you really into getting back together and if you are stick with it. It is a risk that you will get hurt but just stick to the decision and stop bouncing around

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Well you broke his heart by dumping him in the first place, so you can't just expect him to bounce right back like that. Show some respect and give him some alone time to cool off. Don't ask him to get back with you unless you're absolutely sure that you have made a mistake. Maybe it's time for you to really sit down and decide what is it that you really want. You might not be missing HIM, but just missing being in a relationship and having someone there.

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Hey there, well the best thing for you to do that has always worked for me, is to stick with it if you really want it. You have to understand that you broke his heart and he probably was in alot of pain when you told him you needed your "space". Thats not something easy to swallow or just get over. I am sure that he still has strong feelings for you, that is why he always asks what you are up to.

 

But you are the one who messed up and you should be the one who is patient. You have to give him time, you have to show him you care and you have to show him that you won't hurt him again. He probably doesn't want to feel the way he did when you broke up with him and just needs concrete reasons why you won't leave him again. You also, need to give him time and let him decide now. But at the same token, you should be nice and do nice things for him to show him that you do really love him.

 

Lastly, don't give mixed signals or play games, like, "I'm moving on", so that he might make his decision faster, cause he won't, he will be more confused.

 

My strategy for you

============

1. Call him once a day, if he calls back than pick up and talk to him. Don't be short on the phone, get into good conversations. Don't overdue the calling or emailing, cause it will get annoying to him.

 

2. Give him space and time, but at the same time let him know you respect his decisions and that your there for him.

 

3. Show him that you want him back. Don't just tell him, show him through flowers, cards, and just doing things that he likes. Show some interest in his affairs and try to help.

 

Well babez, I hope it works out for you. I am sure it will. But don't be pushy, cause if you are, that won't make him come closer to you, but will push him further away.

 

Best of luck!

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