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is he interested


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My co-worker and I take lunch together every day. In the beginning it seemed to be just a friendly lunch date because he was new to the office. I found him very attractive and have gone out of my way to be his friend.


Recently, he asked me a lot of questions about dating. He expressed his feelings on internet dating and experiences. I also expressed my feelings and experiences. Then out of the blue he asks me who I find attractive at work. Well I froze a little bit because I find him attractive. But I was not sure if I should tell him that. I don't want to make him uncomfortable or lose his friendship. I told him of a few men I found good looking yet they were not my type. So I asked him the same question and he could not give me any one name.


This conversation continued for about an hour about interests but he never revealed anything to me. In fact, I tried to leave the room where he works because he was getting phone calls about work. So I would tell him that I would let him go and he would keep saying wait, dont go.


Today we went to lunch as normal. Now I noticed that every time we go to lunch and sit at the table, which has 4 chairs, no matter where I sit he always sits next to me rather than accross from me. We always go to a local supermarket that has a hot buffet. The place has a balcany area where you can dine. Today we sat up there. I noticed that every time he went down to the food buffet, he would be looking up at me. He was extremely attentive today. Told me all about his trip to NY over the weekend.


He goes to NYC often. I told him on a few occasions that I really want to go up sometime hoping that maybe he would invite me. He will mention silly things like 'do I have a lot of purses, because I can get some really good deals up there'. But never invites me.


As for our working relationship, we email each other through out the day about nothing really important. I will email or go over to see him over little things just to see him. Sometimes he will do the same. On Friday, he left me a voicemail. I went over to see what he needed since he was on his line, and he said he forgot what it was he called for. This is when the conversation started about dating and attractions.


Is he interested in me but afraid to come right out and tell me? When he asked who I found attractive, should I have said he was? He has mentioned to a co-worker that interoffice dating was a no-no. Yet he doesn't seem to say that to me. In fact, he has commented about it early in our friendship, in a general way.


Any opinion is welcomed.

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welcome to enotalone.


sounds like he likes you! it sounds like he was trying to see what you were up to when he asked you of dating and what you thought of the men in your office - who you found atractive.


my only concern is.... do you have a policy against dating coworkers? personally, I wouldn't date a coworker, that can get really messy and is potentially against the rules.

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there is no policy against interoffice dating. in fact there are a lot of interoffice romances that turn into marriage.


I typically do not date co-workers but this man stands out. Technically we do work in the same department but in different areas. I would be very unhappy if it did not work out but I really think I would like to take a chance with him.


Another thing I forgot to mention is there is this girl that works at the place we have lunch that he talks to. the other day, he said 'where is my girl' to me. I responded by saying 'who? the pretty one?'. He responded by saying what makes me think that he thinks she is pretty and that he didn't feel that way. I just told him that I thought she was. He does seem like he gets along better with women. I just don't want to take things the wrong way.


So if the question comes up again about who I think is attractive, should I tell him what I think?

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No.. I don't think you should tell him you find him attractive! I don't even tell girls I date that I find them attractive!


I think his comment about "interoffice" dating is the reason why he is hesistant... But, it is possible he just enjoys your friendship also. If you want to see where things are going and take the lead, you should mention going out for a drink or something...



I think it is high expectations to think he would invite you on a trip to NYC! (Unless you live like an hour away and it would be a day trip!)

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