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What to do/say??


Amberley24
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I currently like a guy at work. He is a temp and it is a large company, so I don't work in the same area nor do I deal with him on a daily basis. At first we would talk to each other everyday either in person or over the phone. We would ask each other questions (questions, that to me were a little more personal then you would just ask a friend), and we would have good conversations. He never asked me out, outside of work. Occasionally we would go to lunch. We would definitely flirt with one another. One day it was his b-day and I did ditch work with him to go to lunch and a movie, things were a bit more intimate and we did kiss several times. But still he would not ask me out outside of work. I would ask him out several times and he would always have other plans, etc....so I got frustrated and stopped asking him out, and I did back off from him somewhat because why put in the extra effort if I like him more than he likes me right. He thinks I'm upset with him because I'm not acting the same around him. We don't talk to each other as much anymore, I'm hoping that by my backing off he would ask me out. That hasn't happened.I still like him, but I don't want to push it. He doesn't have a girlfriend at all, I just don't get it?

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Hey Amberley-

 

You asked him out repeatedly and he declined. That is huge. If he were really into you, he'd have made time to be with you, especially after the connection you guys had established.

 

It sounds like it is high time for a genuine and honest "Look, this is what happened, this is how I feel, what's going on?" talk here. Forget the tactics of "backing off" in hopes of eliciting opposite responses in him. Now is the time to "push it", as you say.

 

He thinks you're upset because you are. Let him know why. Go from there, see how he responds. At the very least this should help clear the air so you can both focus on your work.

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