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Should I feel this way?


Jalys
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Hello,

 

 

My gf and I both have Myspace accounts, and routinely keep in touch via myspace. But lately something its been bothering me, those damned bulletin quizes and surveys... what actually bothers me is the fact that she sometimes posts perhaps too much personal info, mainly about her past sexual experiences. This been bothering me (sometimes it has gotten to the point that actually pissed me off) for awhile now but I haven't mentioned anything because its probably just some 'silly' myspace quizes (like I have been told) am I over-reacting (exaggerating) or do I have every right to feel this way?

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Does she share information about what the two of you have done together? If so, then I think you have every right to bring it up and say that it makes you uncomfortable that she would share that to the whole online world.

 

If she is sharing other past things, I'm not so sure that you have a place to tell her not to do it. I mean, you can tell her that it makes you uncomfortable. And I would hope that she would respect your feelings and stop. But what it might come down to is you just ignoring those quizzes and not reading hers.

 

Do you think she could be doing it to try to make you jealous?

 

Oh, and I don't think you are overreacting. I know that I would not like it one bit if my boyfriend were doing that. And I doubt she would like it if you did that.

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Does she share information about what the two of you have done together? If so, then I think you have every right to bring it up and say that it makes you uncomfortable that she would share that to the whole online world.

 

If she is sharing other past things, I'm not so sure that you have a place to tell her not to do it. I mean, you can tell her that it makes you uncomfortable. And I would hope that she would respect your feelings and stop. But what it might come down to is you just ignoring those quizzes and not reading hers.

 

Do you think she could be doing it to try to make you jealous?

 

Quite frankly, I do not know. She hasn't post anything about us yet. But what struck me today was the fact that one of the questions said 'I can look at someone hot without thinking of sex' and left it unchecked. I not sure how to take that... maybe I'm over-reacting, but I can't help feeling uncomfortable. Its not the 1st time, and frankly, it worries me...

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How long have you two been together? My first reaction would be she is playing games, trying to make you jealous (for whatever reason). I might be way off on this. Likely she would deny it if you brought it up. If I were you I would stop doing the myspace thing and if she asks why you stopped going there then you could say that you didn't like what you were reading.

You are reacting. It needs to be you acting and she reacting. Or at least a balance.

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how old is she? I can understand if she were like 16, 17, 18 and is posting about that stuff on myspace, that is typical, but if she is closer in age to you (late 20s), I would find that behavior extremely odd. yeah, it's one thing to do the "silly myspace quizzes" but another to list sexual experiences (I don't know how far into detail it is going).

 

I would talk to her about it - maybe say it makes you uncomfortable because it is too much information for the entire world, her boss to see. (And yes, in these days, bosses and firms have been checking people's webpages and myspace pages before offering jobs.) I know a guy who was fired because of what he wrote in his blog.

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I have taken those myspace quizzes and when it comes to answering personal questions, I delete those questions in particular.

 

It's not really fair for her to be discussing personal matters outside of the bedroom, whether or not they deal with you.

 

I would just lightly bring it up by saying, "hey, I saw your myspace quiz, and I felt a little uncomfortable with you sharing such personal information."

 

Then see what she says.

 

Hugs, Rose

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Jalys,

 

In this case, it's best not to read those bulletins. She's open to telling other people about her past sexual experiences and it's something you can't handle right now. I can understand how you could feel bad about reading these things though. The thing is, she probably doesn't think twice about it which in a sense is wreckless (my opinion). From now on, keep MySpace out of you guys' relationship and focus on what you have with her now. Good luck.

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I would like to point that trust its not an issue, we both trust each other blindly. She's actually older than I am, she's bit past her 30's and I'm about to turn 30, she may be a little immature for her age, but I ADORE her.

 

I just can't help feeling uncomfortable with her posting info about her past relationships, or sexual experiences, not too elaborate info I might add, but still makes me uncomfortable. We've been toguether now for approx 5 1/2 months.

 

I try not to read or hang out much on myspace, but for the time being, its the most viable way to keep in touch. And sometimes, I just can't help it, I'm too damned curious.

 

Out of curiosity, why would she try to make me jealous?

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I have no problem disclosing information. If I was confronted with something like this from a significant other I would laugh, not take it down and continue doing what I felt was appropriate.

 

Sure, its a good way to let you significant other and half other million people how many relationships you had in the past, the longest you lasted before cumming, if it was good or not, how long your penis is, if you can look at someone hot without thinking of sex (or having sex with) etc, I'm pretty sure it will make your 'significant' other feel very special, don't you agree?

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I try not to read or hang out much on myspace, but for the time being, its the most viable way to keep in touch. And sometimes, I just can't help it, I'm too damned curious.

 

 

MySpace is NOT the most viable way to keep in touch. That's not true.

 

1. In person

2. Phone

3. Text Message/Email (not Myspace, but email)

4. Smoke signals

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MySpace is NOT the most viable way to keep in touch. That's not true.

 

1. In person

2. Phone

3. Text Message/Email (not Myspace, but email)

4. Smoke signals

 

True however, I refuse to use the phone to make long-distance calls, the service is not in my name. My cell phone went dead a few days ago, and I refuse to buy a new one due to the fact that I'm saving money (won't even buy myself a pair of boxer shorts) email is a good alternative, but wouldn't know if she was online or not.

 

Smoke signals, is a definite no-go.... she lives overseas.

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don't you need a phone? like for emergencies? or at least find a good calling plan. I agree, myspace is not the best way to stay in touch. normal e-mail is far better. how will you keep a long-distance relationship going if she is overseas and you aren't even speaking on the phone?

 

have you tried skype or ichat? you can have international calls for free through your internet connection. look into that.

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don't you need a phone? like for emergencies? or at least find a good calling plan. I agree, myspace is not the best way to stay in touch. normal e-mail is far better. how will you keep a long-distance relationship going if she is overseas and you aren't even speaking on the phone?

 

have you tried skype or ichat? you can have international calls for free through your internet connection. look into that.

 

I have a phone, but the service is not in my name, and I refuse to use it. Every now and then I borrow my sisters or mothers cell phone to make calls at night and weekends. We mainly stay in touch via messenger, but when I'm @ work myspace is the most convenient way to keep in touch.

 

I live with my mother and sister (long story) and hate every minute of it. One of my biggest and fustrating problems.

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I tried skype, but it wouldn't let me connect to a land-line phone, it said that I needed skype points or some bull * * * * like that. Ichat I haven't tried.

 

You know... I feel kind of awful, I should be talking to her about this. But my fear is, I don't want her to think that she can't talk to me, tell me, or be totally honest with me.

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Personally, I think you're over-reacting a little. They are survey's, they're meant to be "fun" even if it's in a immature way. Why a 30 something year old woman would fill these out, is kind of funny. But at any rate, her past is her past. I don't think it's anything to get too worked up about.

 

If it bothers you that much, and is going to cause problems, just tell her you don't enjoy hearing about her past sexual relationships, what she has/hasnt done.

 

Also, is this an internet romance?

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I know exactly what you mean, and I never cease to be surprised at how much personal information people put out about themselves on MySpace. I don't think people understand how that can come back and bite you.

 

You might ask her why she feels so comfortable sharing such information on a public forum. You could also point out to her if she ever wanted to go into politics, or any kind of prestigious job, etc. , that information could come back to haunt her.

 

I know a girl that claimed she was raped, and a trial was pending against her alleged attacker. She actually continued to fill out those stupid surveys and I told her she was compromising her case against her attacker by talking about sex on MySpace.

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I know exactly what you mean, and I never cease to be surprised at how much personal information people put out about themselves on MySpace. I don't think people understand how that can come back and bite you.

 

You might ask her why she feels so comfortable sharing such information on a public forum. You could also point out to her if she ever wanted to go into politics, or any kind of prestigious job, etc. , that information could come back to haunt her.

 

I know a girl that claimed she was raped, and a trial was pending against her alleged attacker. She actually continued to fill out those stupid surveys and I told her she was compromising her case against her attacker by talking about sex on MySpace.

 

Granted, not very elaborate, sometimes simple yes's and no's, others with simple answers to it. But still, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

JoeG - Sure, surveys are meant to be fun, but * * * does anybody care if I filmed myself having sex? Would you feel ucomfortable if your gf post a survey so everyone could answer (privately) and many of the questions include having sex with her, and all sorts of foreplay? * * * is that?

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I have struggled with this myself, when i first started seeing my boyfriend we both had myspace accounts, we hadnt been together long and so we hadnt slept together yet, and on one of those quizzes (that i must admit i do from time to time just to fill boredom in work) a question asked "Who did you last fall asleep next to?" and I answered "my little sister she stayed over" and he said "My ex" and it cut me like a knife, silly but i didnt like it.

 

Months later another quiz "Have you ever received roses in your life?" and he said "No but i have given a few bunches" by this point we have been together about six months and i thought "mnnn you havent ever given me roses!?"

 

It can get quite ridiculous if we allow ourselves to get upset about the things we read in those quizzes. You shouldnt be finding out things for the first time through them, but then in some circumstances like the roses in my instance, they wouldnt have come up in conversation. Maybe she is trying t make you jealous, keep you on your toes, or maybe she is trying to tell you things without having to have 'the talk' no girl likes the "so how many people have you slept with?" chat! its horrid!!

 

I think you should stop reading them. but i know that when my boyfriend posts one i ALWAYS read it and sometimes with my heart in my mouth!

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