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Can't be single forever. Right? Wait, Right?


natemic
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I recently posted about a younger girl that I was wanting to be in a relationship but didn't work out (somewhat beside the point). I'm 18 and I realize now that I'm in college that social relationships, especially intimate ones, are a major experience that I'm missing out on. I've never, yes, never, been in an actual relationship (I've done sexual things with girls at parties, Spring Break, things like that, but I've never had an actual SO).

 

This has been killing me lately because as I look around I see kids my age in relationships and I can't help but envy them. There have been a few girls that I've been interested in pursuing relationships with however none ever blossomed.

 

My best friend thinks it's something to do with the fact that the first girl I ever thought of in terms of a SO was my best friend of about 10 years and because of an attempt (or lack of) to try a relationship we no longer talk which has been devestating to me. (My friends joke that I need years of therapy to make me normal again).

 

My question is, I'm 18, looking for a relationship and the experiences that go with it. I wouldn't say I'm desperate but as I get older it seems that everyone else is advancing in the love game and I have yet to join the team. Anxiety and apprehension mounting, I don't want to rush into a relationship or anything, however, even a relationship I know isn't practical or lasting might give me the experience I want to achieve. Do you think it's bad to try to make a relationship rather than let it happen? And if not, is a relationship doomed from the start necessarily a bad thing? Lately I don't have any answers and there aren't many people I can look to for advice except my one good friend and an anonymous crowd such as you all.

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i'm struggling with this same thing!!! I've been out of a relationship for about the past 3 years.. and it was just a HS relationship (which lasted almost 2 years) but i have yet to have a "mature" relationship.... and i want experience with it!!! and i'm thinking about pursueing a relationship with a girl that I pretty much think is awesome, and alot of fun.. but don't really see myself marrying or anything... i dunno? i might be wrong....

so ya, sorry that wasnt much advice, but i'm curious as to what people think as well!!

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You and me both. The closest I ever came to a relationship was a disfunctional month long "hookup" basically. I still talk to the girl and we are friends, but to tell you the truth we didn't like eachother really. Now I really just want to get into a relationship ASAP, probably not the way to go about it but I can't help it!

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Well there are plenty of free resources out there to help you with your problem and for some reason I'm prohibited from letting you know about them on this site. If you wanna know them, then lemme know and I'll be happy to let you know.

 

This is a skill which can be learned like any other. All you have to do is put in the work.

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Well there are plenty of free resources out there to help you with your problem and for some reason I'm prohibited from letting you know about them on this site. If you wanna know them, then lemme know and I'll be happy to let you know.

 

This is a skill which can be learned like any other. All you have to do is put in the work.

 

I'm not sure what resources you are talking about but if it's anything that will help I'm all for at least trying it out. Anything you can message, email, etc. to tell me about would be awesome.

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You and me both. The closest I ever came to a relationship was a disfunctional month long "hookup" basically. I still talk to the girl and we are friends, but to tell you the truth we didn't like eachother really. Now I really just want to get into a relationship ASAP, probably not the way to go about it but I can't help it!

 

Whoa, ME TOO!

 

It sucks man, but I totally know how you feel because I'm in the same sitch. I'm 19, though. I'm a college sophomore, and I feel totally out of the "dating" thing.

 

What I've been doing is trying to keep myself distracted, like, immersing myself in my studies or something like that. haha. I mean, but it gets very lonely not having that guy/girl you can be affectionate with. It sucks. I don't ever want to be the "desperate" type, but... I am. haha

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Whoa, ME TOO!

 

It sucks man, but I totally know how you feel because I'm in the same sitch. I'm 19, though. I'm a college sophomore, and I feel totally out of the "dating" thing.

 

What I've been doing is trying to keep myself distracted, like, immersing myself in my studies or something like that. haha. I mean, but it gets very lonely not having that guy/girl you can be affectionate with. It sucks. I don't ever want to be the "desperate" type, but... I am. haha

 

Not to take pleasure in both of our misfortunes, but, hey, at least I've got some company now.

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If three isn't a crowd, may I join your company?

 

I'm in my senior year of university and I am more inexperienced (sexually and romantically) than most high school freshmen.

It's way too late to catch up now. I've got like 8 years to catch up on. Never gonna happen. I have to choose between staying single all my life or settling for a lifetime of unbalanced relationships.

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It's way too late to catch up now.

Simply not the case. I got a late start too and started studying relationships in general when I was 21. Now i'm 28 and finally this year I feel like I've learned enough to the point where I can have a successful relationship. I'm still learning too, but the fact that you say it's too late is a bunch of BS.

 

The material to learn from is the best it's ever been and still improving too. You could learn how to do this in 6 months to a year if you're willing to learn. You just have to want it bad enough.

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