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Did I Do The Right Thing?


diejoeboo
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I left my friend yesterday. I love her dearly and the distance I would go for her is immeasureable. The problem is that for the last 3 years we've been on and off. I'm getting old (I'm 28 ) and I can't keep doing this. Right now we're 'off' and I said that this will be the last time. She said she's not ready to jump back in it again because she has other issues to tend to. That's fine, I don't want to make her do something she doesn't want to. If she has other issues to deal with, then I'm probably not helping. She said that if she jumps back in it with me, that it'll be for good. She just doesn't know when she can do it. I can't wait for her. I want to, but the pain is too great. I'm going to law school and I need to focus and have peace of mind.

 

She begged for me to stay, and I told her that I don't want to go, but I have to go. It hurts to be with her, it hurts to be without her. I'd rather be in pain alone so that I can get over her.

 

Was this selfish? Now I'm regretting what I did, and time is limited to bring her back. She said she'll always be there as she kissed me goodbye yesterday on a San Francisco sidewalk.

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Hey bro,

 

I'm well-versed in the on-again-off-again relationship cycle. And I wouldn't wish something like that upon my worst enemy my man...

 

Love is not like this bro. I may not be able to tell you exactly what love is but I can tell you what it is not...and it is not this...it should not hurt both people like this...

 

I think you did the right thing here from what you've written. But that was the easy part. You have been conditioned to ride the rollercoaster with this woman and staying away this time will prove to be much, much harder. On top of the grief generated by the separation, you have the urges to fall back into familiar yet toxic patterns of going back-and-forth with things...

 

Just keep rationalizing with your feelings, keep challenging them, keep focusing on what your brain is telling you and keep it occupied. It may very well be the hardest thing you've had to do but it is the path to better emotional places...

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