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In love with a close friend


ALfirebird
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I fell in love with a friend of mine i awhile back. She was single at the time and I hung out with her a lot but never really made a move. well she ended up in a reationship b4 I made my move that ended badly the other day. She knows I have very strong feelings for her. But I dont want to become a rebound in the event that she comes after me. I want to spend tiem with her and be there for her, but if she decides to engage in a relationship with me I want it to authentic and not a rebound thing. I'm almost entirely ignorant to the more complicated thigns like this about relationships, and was wondering if there is any way that if she does show signs of interest in me to tell if her feelings are real or a rebound situtaion. I care so much about this girl, so I dont want her to rush into another relationship even if its with me.

So are there any real signs to tell?

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Welcome to eNotAlone ALfirebird!

 

That's a tricky situation.

 

As for "signs" to tell whether she is rebounding or not... you'd have to use your best judgement. If she still seems like she's hung up on her ex, by mentioning him or talking about him etc. Also, take into consideration how much time has passed since the breakup.

 

But truthfully... this is forwardsight. Chances are she still only thinks of you as a friend, especially since you've made your feelings clear to her, and she hasn't reciprocated. If she wanted you, she'd be coming after you, instead of being with the guy she's with. If she's in a relationship, and happy with someone else, then you should let it be. Don't persist, or you risk losing her as a friend. It's possible that you could get together at some time in the future, but you really don't want to wait around for that to happen (because it's not cool to wait around for something that might simply never happen).

Forget about her as a girlfriend - there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you're having trouble getting over it, put some distance between the two of you. She would probably appreciate it too. That means less pressure on her to think about this, so if there is a choice in her mind, she can thoroughly think it through.

 

Hope this helps

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she wasnt happy. and my feelings wernt clear to her till long after her other relationship began. I honestly dont care whos shes with as long as shes truly happy. And i competly agree. she needs a friend now but she doenst need ot be smothered with attention. I generally call her once or twice a week. And if she suggests hanging out like before well hang out. But I dont pressure her And never will. Like you siad she needs space to think and get back on her feet.

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