how similar is real sex to porno?

[anthony06]

i wont lie i used to look at entirely too much porn. i still do...except now i think i look at just as much as every guy...like once or twice a week...but i think that it has given me a lot of misconceptions about what sex should be like and is now messing with my head now that my gf and i are having sex. like, i saw the dudes with their massive dongs and i think thats y i was questioning my size a few weeks ago in another thread.

 

in porno, they seem to go at it non-stop until they've both came consequtively (spelling) like 5 times. my gf always wants to stop after one time and isnt horny again for like another 20 min's. she also def. does not moan and yell and stuff like the porno girls do. should it really feel THAT good for the girl? or are the porno girls just being sluts and making noise for the camera?

 

before i came up with this little hypothesis it was making me question my mojo and methods in bed ...i read like every sex tips site on the net and they def helped out a lot in improving our sex butttt, still....i'm not getting a porno reaction out of her haha....i have a feeling that i'm right in my assumptions and it just took me a pathetically long time to realize the porno girls were only behaving like they were cause they were being paid to be like that but i'd like some feedback. this is true right?

 

and just to clarify...i def am not missing the point of having sex...i'm not treating my girl like a piece of meat on a table or a porno chick. I am trying to relax and enjoy sex. (seems to be a common theme amongst respsonses)...i've just been questioning myself and becoming what i now i realize is, in fact, insecure w. myself due to the porn (assuming that i'm right). if it is normal for girls to moan and yell and want to have sex right after they just came then my theory is shot....sooo, i think i'm rambling...my question is am i right or wrong?...thanx!

[melrich]

Well it's a bit like do you think most cops are like Bruce Willis in Die Hard?

 

They get told what to do for the cameras and are often selected for their physical attributes.

[millaj]

Pornos are extremely misleading. A lot of it is staged, and rewound, and played over and over again to make it look like it goes on and on forever. The media portrays it as if it is perfect, and it's really not that way at all. If I were you I would just enjoy the sex with your girlfriend, but don't compare it to porn.

[rose2summer]

Well, in the videos, they are edited, and pieces cropped out, so did they actually go through five orgasms in a row, not physically possible, from a physiology perspective.

 

Try not to compare yourself to the videos as much of them are airbrushed, touched up, the moaning is over-exaggerated.

 

They're just like movies. I have seen several movie stars in person and they look NOTHING like they do in movies. The media sure tricks us.

 

Hugs, Rose

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

If it makes you feel any better (or not), I do enjoy fairly regular porn-style sex, with a variety of positions that make me scream, have multiple orgasms (getting better as I practice!), simultaeneous orgasms, etc.

 

It can last literally for a couple of hours, and my partner stays hard forever.

 

AND NOW - THE SECRET!

 

Neither of us ever believed we'd be capable of the above, but then again..neither of us ever believed we'd both be anti/happy to give up porn, neither of us believed we'd fall in love like we have, and have our level of communication.

 

Long story short, if you invest time and love into a relationship and go with your instincts in the bedroom department, you CAN have phenomenal sex. I'm not lying.

[rose2summer]

There's a refractory period between orgasms, especially long for males, so although you can go on and on, there isn't a whole slew of true orgasms going on between.

 

So if a male partner can hold out longer from orgasming, the couple can go on for long periods of time, but that becomes painful for him over time.

[Clementine orange]

Yeah, Porn is actually kind of brainwashing in a way. At least it certainly can give one the wrong impression about what it's all about as you are discovering. I use porn as a last resort really and I usually find it insulting and ultimately boring after a while. Give me a real woman any day (please??)

 

Some girls (I mean non-porn) are moaners, some are not. If the girl is more flamboyant in life (ie: talking, dancing etc) then they are more likely to be the same in their sex life. Not always though. Plus it can be faked - which is dumb if you figure it out. If you can get some quiet, mousy little girl moaning and swearing like a sailer then you know you are getting somewhere.

 

It can actually be brainwashing for women too if they think that guys wanted them to act like that. I've had that experience too. Sex can be nerve wracking enough without adding a bunch of dumb dramatics into the mix. Just be yourself! Let her know that you are up for anything and won't ridicule her. Talking about sex, before after and during makes things alot better (I notice they never do that in porn either)

 

Actually on this subject. Considering porn is such a huge industry, why isn't it better? I mean, wouldn't it be waaaay better with more realisitic looking people and situations. Wouldn't it be nice if there was some characterizations in there, some acting, some non idiotic dialogue. How about a plot???? It would be cool if you could be a fly on the wall (movie-wise) and follow some couple through meeting, and then their date and a slow seduction followed by some hot sex.

 

Hmmm maybe there is a market for this....

 

got off topic there, sorry

[Daddy Bear]

commercial porn is quite a few clicks from reality. it seems to me that what goes on in an average house with an average, open-minded couple who have average, decent imaginations is usually a lot more fun.

[Clementine orange]

Absolutley slightly bent, so why dont they make movies about that???

 

Also, what's with all the hurtin' anal sex and cumming on girls faces and other weird stuff. How did porn get so mean and humiliating.

[darthpeladus]

Well, for real sex movies, we have amateur movies

[MewSkitty]

I stopped looking at pron years ago because I knew it was fake. These days, I read letters writen by real people discribing their expierances. My favorite in the book on incest.

[shes2smart]

Comparing porn to real sex is like comparing the food porn on the Food Network with what you'd actually be able to prepare in your kitchen.

 

The food on the cooking shows looks amazing....but you cannot smell it, taste it, or derive any lasting physical satisfaction from it. The food that comes out of your kitchen may not be picture perfect, but you can enjoy its aromas, flavors and the feeling of fullness you get when you eat it.

 

Porn and food porn (food/restaurant ads & cooking shows) are a one-dimensional experience....real sex and real food are a multi-sensory, multi-dimensional experience.

[itsallgrand]

Yup, you're a smart dude and will become a better lover from this realization.

 

Another note to all the excellent posts: porn is filmed from the outside looking on. Real sex is a first person experience. You're not a passive viewer like in porn...you are right in the thick of it and participating.

The visuals are completely different, and I'm glad for that! Porn eyes are focused on moneyshots and genitals and screaming mouths open wide. Boring, repetitive, one-dimensional even on the visual front.

[AwdreeHpburn]

good comparative analogy shes2smart - look at that movie - ummmm shoot, what is it called???

 

With Billy Bob Thorton and Halle Barry. That was a good, real and raw, closer to real life sex scene. Not porn of course, but it looked like people who were actually just having sex. It looked sort of real.

 

 

Monsters Ball or something like that.... any help?

[Luke Skywalker]

Comparing porn to real sex is like comparing the food porn on the Food Network with what you'd actually be able to prepare in your kitchen.

 

The food on the cooking shows looks amazing....but you cannot smell it, taste it, or derive any lasting physical satisfaction from it. The food that comes out of your kitchen may not be picture perfect, but you can enjoy its aromas, flavors and the feeling of fullness you get when you eat it.

 

Porn and food porn (food/restaurant ads & cooking shows) are a one-dimensional experience....real sex and real food are a multi-sensory, multi-dimensional experience.

 

I find that when I look at a specific softcore porn - escort ads - and look at the abbreviated services to imagine what she does, the the experience can be quite real. You feel like you are actually kissing her, and having an oral or soemthing. Even massage parlour soft-core seems very real. I imagined taking one of the girls, and paying her for a few extras. The viewing time on two different days were just 5 minutes of times of various softcore pics, but there were enough to cause a whole 'porn fantasy' sequence.

 

Same with other porn. IF you have a mind that can build up a fantasy world out of a few nuggets of information or pictures - then the experience could be quite real.

[lman69]

The quick answer is it depends on how skilled you and/or the girl are. Even if 1 person is not very expierienced it is very dfferent. If both are inexpierienced it usually doesn't work too well the first few times.

[Rabican]

porn is like a cartoon, think popeye, or better yet xmen... the mutants would make good porn stars

 

Everything is exaggerated. The size of the guys, way above average.. thats why they are male pornstars. The women with their 18 inch waists and 36 inch bust...

 

The most akward sexual positions known to man all seem to work just fine in porn. What they dont show is them lining up furniture, pillows, various props to make things work. The guy never has trouble getting it up (it happens, but not in porn) The girl is always wet... the list goes on. Porn is fake, its good to get some ideas, maybe some intersting positions, might be fun to watch with your girl, but dont use it as a learning tool 100%

[shes2smart]

I find that when I look at a specific softcore porn - escort ads - and look at the abbreviated services to imagine what she does, the the experience can be quite real. You feel like you are actually kissing her, and having an oral or soemthing. Even massage parlour soft-core seems very real. I imagined taking one of the girls, and paying her for a few extras. The viewing time on two different days were just 5 minutes of times of various softcore pics, but there were enough to cause a whole 'porn fantasy' sequence.

 

Same with other porn. IF you have a mind that can build up a fantasy world out of a few nuggets of information or pictures - then the experience could be quite real.

 

I have a pretty vivid imagination. I've carried on some very intense "relationships" with people who were, essentially, pen pals.

 

Playing it all out in your head where the other person is an image in your mind that is 100% under your control is not the same as having an encounter with a real flesh-and-blood-and-bone breathin', burpin', fartin' person. If you've had previous real-life sexual experiences, you can call on your memory of those to add even more "realistic" touches to the movie playing out in your head.

 

That "builidng up a fantasy world out of a few nuggets of information or pictures" thing you mention....That's a hell of a way to make up an intoxicating brew...just enough of "another person" so you can convince yourself you're not in it alone...and you fill in the blanks (the things you don't know about the other person) with what YOU like and what YOU want. I know of nothing that could make someone more giddy. That's why online relationships can feel so intense.

 

But that doesn't always translate to intensity in a real-life encounter because people are notorius for having their own agendas, their own preferences and their own will (the sheer unmitigated gall! ), and a good chunk of the time, they're not going to live up to our expectations or be who we imagined them to be.

 

There have been times in my life where the fantasy of a sexual encounter was preferable to having an actual sexual encounter. Each situation has its advantages and disadvantages. While, at times, one may be as good as the other, they are not the same.

 

People try to tell me butter and margarine are interchangable. They're not. Butter (the real thing) tastes better and works better for baking because it has things margarine does not....but if my only option is margarine...well, ok, smear a little on my toast 'cause it's better than having dry toast....sometimes.

[ftc]

Porn is over rated!!! it's sooooooo staged..... are they even enjoying it or just putting it on for the cameras!!! are they faking it???? you can enjoy watching it but it's nothing like the real thing!!!

[jilligirl]

it's odd that no matter how staged porn is, or how fake it is, or whatever-- most of us still think it's hot lol