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My life feels miserable


xmrth
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It would be pointless to drop out of college with one year left. But I would LOVE to get out of this as soon as possible.

 

I'm so miserable. I have no time, I have no money. I don't know what my problem is. I have no motivation. I have so many papers and so many paintings and projects due. I don't get to go to class for a little over an hour-- my courses are 3 hours long, even a 6 hour long course, and I'm away all day long for my classes from the early morning until late at night getting home around 10pm from 8am.

 

My room is a mess, and it's so hard to get motivated to clean it. Sometimes I really do believe it contributes to the stress. My room is DARK because of the colors and it's so uncomfortable and it's just the way it's got to be-- it's basically the only real place to be comfortable in my house and have quiet to do my work, but it's so uncomfortable. For things that are portable, like readings, the library closes at obscenely early times like 4 and sometimes 5. My school is too far away to drive back up if I feel I need to.

 

I literally have to make time for work, so I sleep only a little bit. I'm in debt by about $2,500 and my job pays me well but the new manager is unbearably full of herself and is a nutcase, so I'm going to try and transfer.

 

I just have no motivation, but yeah I usually do. Everything feels like it's crashing down on me. I don't even think having a week or a month off from life would fix this. I feel like the issue is deeper than that.

 

I really really don't even know where to start or what else I should explain or what.

 

I don't even know what my chances are of getting a good job after college. I don't care about too much anymore; I think I'm stressing myself out and making my own life miserable. I try to get up and do something about things but I feel like it's hopeless. I REALLY don't know if this is explaining enough, but I know it probably sounds stupid. Everything has a lot more to it.

 

 

Martha

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Hi xmrth,

 

It seems like you have a lot on your plate.

 

Have you ever had a time management class?

 

Most colleges/universities offer them to students to teach you how to budget your time for each activity.

 

Why is it that you feel you have no motivation?

 

Has this always been the case or has something recently made you more dismal about the future?

 

Hugs, Rose

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Hey hun,

 

You sound a bit depressed! You mention twice that you think that the issue is deeper than just your situation re career, study and money. Do you have any idea what the REAL issue is? Do you live with your parents? Is it possible to move closer to college?

 

Believe me, you will pay a debt like that in NO time once you have your first job. Most students have to borrow money to live. Sadly, most students even have to borrow when they have a job that requires a LOT of hours.

 

I think if you sleep so little, your mind easily becomes foggy. You're exhausted. So, I'd suggest you increase your sleeping hours. You will be much more productive if you sleep at regular times for at least 7 hours a night. In addition, try to make a schedule for things you need to do. I did a 'timetable' thing with tasks I had to do in a day. But if I'd feel too depressed in the morning, I'd do the 'easy' chores first, like answering e-mail, think of some data (I do a phd so I need to have a clear mind... it's the same I guess if you work in art/design!). Or I do the dishes or groceries. When I studied in Italy, I lived far away from uni and because it was a 45 min ride in 40 degree Celsius, I'd plan my library visits and combine that with meeting friends, a couple of study hours, etc.

 

But start with your sleep! Try a week of sleeping 8 hours, go to bed around 11 pm and see how much better you will feel. And if there is anything deeper that you want to talk about, please do so! You know we are here to listen!

 

Ilse

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I plan to never go to college. I could never pass the english and history classes. Thus so, I plan on going to trade school. But be warned! Trade school is only for if you know what you want to do after school. IF you do not go into the career you are taught at trade school, it's just a waste of time and money.

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I think the biggest thing is stress from so much at once with assignments/projects. It's so hard to manage time because I basically have to use all my time on them, so it's more of a matter of which is due first.

 

I completely wasted this weekend and did not do ANY of my work. It's Monday, I have class in the morning all day long, and I wanted to spend this day doing work. And the other part of the weekend cleaning so that I'd be able to be in a nice open and relaxing environment, but I never did any of it. I don't really know WHAT I did this weekend.

 

But I feel like I'm standing in place. If I were out of college, I'd be moving forward. I just feel so stressed and weak and tired. I live at home and I'd love to move out but there's just no way. Campus housing is $1,000 a month regardless of the fact that you live with 4-5 other people, and even for a few hundred a month I'd pass because it would just add to the stress.

 

This summer was so good because I was working full time and being productive. I feel like I am so unproductive, and on top of that I have no idea how after college will be like with a job-- will I even like it, will it just be all the same stress, and all of that.

 

I feel so tight and just... stressed. I feel like I just need time to breathe. My younger sibling is in college and is home by 11am the latest. And there she goes, going out...

 

But there's no doubt in my mind that I NEED to get through college asap... I think that's the main issue is college.

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I think what I really feel that I need is lots of time and lots of cleanliness. I just want everything to be in its place and everything to be handled and dealt with and resolved. There's just no time to do all the things I need to do. I can't make any more time. I feel like I can't manage time when I don't have enough of it.

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if that is truly what you want you have to do it - clean the room it will take an evening and organise things it helps your mind then write down jobs you may be interested in during the next year and try to network with these people jobs normally come from contacts in your industry - do not drop out you spent time in the education so finish it or you will regret it - by the way we all felt broke and un cared etc for at 21 you always do it is transitiion from child to adult hood and next year when you work you will feel wonderful and have money less debt etc and look after yourself.

 

Depression is something you can fight - write the things you have achieved and look at the things you want to achieve - do it dont let it pass you by depression is a wasted emotion if you dont use it in an optimisitc way.

 

You are young your life is before you - go to tgallerys etc and your job is the way to pay for your ticket to freedom etc

 

Enjoy your life and stop moping - clean your place and set aside time to work be proactive not lazy you will never get this minute or time back that is what the dalai lama states and it is true/.

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You are just classically stressed from too much work. You say you're not getting enough sleep; that's the first thing to work on. Make sure you have good, regular meals. When you are physically rested and well-nourished, other things often fall into place themselves. But if you don't get more sleep, you're risking a depression.

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Martha,

 

I am going through the samething. I have three semesters of college left and sometimes I do consider dropping out...But I keep telling myself, I have stayed this long so I have to go all the way.

Granted, I'm going for my BA in English Lit...so unless I want to teach(which I don't)there isn't a damn thing I can do with my degree except pursue my writing career(which I could do without a degree) and make my resume look more attractive...

 

Sometimes it feels like school is NEVER going to end. I have five classes, three days a week, and I feel like I have work piled on top of work.

At the end of this month I have a research paper due(so far I've written the bibliography and the title page), and then I have to write ANOTHER one for another class. I am passing all of my tests, but not as great as I wanted(I've made B's on all of my tests and quizzes...and I crashed and burned on my first Geology test)...It seems like all I do is study sometimes, and I hate my English lit teacher(she assigns assignment after assignment ontop of assignment...AND we do nearly the bulk of our course work on the computer)...

Needless to say I am sometimes at my wits end...

 

What I have started doing though has been beneficial to me...

 

I have stopped watching television. I have cut down my TV viewing time to one hour a day. The rest of those hours I spend studying...

 

Furthermore, I was dealing with sleep deprivation issues too. I was, literally, waking up every morning at 3 a.m. due to stress(I went to bed thinking about my classes)...So instead of that I have started taking showers and going to be early. I now go to bed at 8:30 pm, I kid you not. It may seem really elementary school but now I am getting to be more rested...

 

Right now I am around the same amount of debt as you(which really isn't that much compared to people in law and medical school), if not a bit more. But I've decided to cross that bridge when I get to it. Don't even worry about the debt, we all have it.

 

Moreover, I would say kick things out of your life that are unnecessary. I do alot of unecessary things that impede upon my time. As hard as it maybe I have had to cut them back...

 

I really hate my family(except my mom)so they have been a source of stress...So, as of now, they no longer exist. Fortunately, I'm not close to any of them so I could careless...As it is the only responsibility I have now is to myself.

 

I know how you feel when it comes to commuting to school. I have to do it too. My school, on the freeway, is only 20 minutes away. But with traffic that turns it into 35 minutes. So I make it a point to give myself a half hour space by leaving early. That way I don't break my neck getting to class looking for a parking place...

 

Just try and start eliminating those unecessary stressors.

 

Take care and keep us posted.

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Thanks so much you guys.

 

That's exactly what I'll be doing tonight actually -whoops-, is cleaning my room. Since this is THE place I retreat to and this is where I get my work done. I just have this DIRE need for a really clean open place... And it's so hard to relax; it's weird how much it contributes to the stress. So yeah I'm doing that right now. It's been so hard to make time for it with so much due for classes.

 

-FoxLocke- I feel like that is the hardest thing is to block out all distractions, but it's definitely the thing I need to do. I get distracted on the computer because I'll be writing a paper or working on graphic design, and I'll trail off the program and literally go shopping online. Which brings me to another problem is my resort to buying things to make me feel better... which has contributed a lot to my debt.

 

I just spend all day at school and then all night with homework and I hate it. I feel like I'm running in place, even though by the end of it all, I'll finally have gotten somewhere.

 

 

I wonder about my diet, too. I know eating right and sleeping right makes a person feel a certain way so I'm going to try paying attention to that too.

 

I just feel this need for so many things, and lately I've been obsessed with the thought of needing wide open space with everything in it's place. I know it sounds crazy. But I feel like it I put my homework aside and make time for it, which has been so hard... it will be one less thing to worry about and be like something I have control over. I never think to do this though because of time restriction. I know it sounds so weird and I'm having a hard time saying it the right way.

 

Martha

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Martha, I am going to take everyone's advice and clean my room too. lol. It is the only place I have and it looks like a junk pit. All my papers and books are everywhere, and honestly, I thought it was organized. So I'll take time out and do it this weekend(after I get off work)...

 

Onething you could do is change your diet. That is what I did. I used to eat, what I refer to as, "Hard foods" for breakfast. I would have bacon, eggs, and toast...and I found that those kinds of foods early in the morning made me feel...I can't explain it in words right now...Anyway, I have changed to fruits and cereal in the morning. Afterwards I have lunch in the noon, and since I can't cook I live off Healthy choice Television dinners(they are good!)...

 

And don't get me started with online shopping...I have used all the residual of my financial AID installements on online shopping! Don't get me wrong I use it for necessary things like food, gas, and clothes...But when I'm on the P.C. I find myself buying loads of things. I've purchased several items this month. But I when the residual money runs out I am done. I already have my credit cards paid off and cancelled! lol So that is pretty much alleviated...

 

Good luck Martha! I am glad you wrote in because I thought I was the only person going through this...

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I ended up doing that all last night for maybe 10 straight hours. I got rid of furniture and posters and put so many things up in my attic. I got everything out from underneath furniture, and I feel like I now have a nice place to retreat to.

 

I feel really strangely less depressed since that, but now what's bothering me is just the usual. I can't enjoy my week. I'm noticing this gets worse as the weeks go on. I can't enjoy them because I don't have time. Other students at my college have tons of free time-- but no money, no car, no nothing because they don't work. It shouldn't ruin my whole week though. It's hard to switch mentalities from school mode to work mode. Maybe it's just what I do for work. I'm looking into other jobs, though I'm already trying to see if I can transfer so if I do that, I should plan to stay there.

 

I hate not having money or time.

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