Jump to content

Having some real trouble here


Recommended Posts

My girlfriend and I broke up about a month and a half ago... going to different colleges, need to meet new people, etc. I was not fine with this and had a bit of a break down, but I had been getting better over the past few weeks. I was just holding out hope that sometime down the road we'd get back together. It was the only thing that made me feel good. Before that, I was having constant dreams about her, couldn't sleep for more than 4 hours a night, constant panic attacks. It was bad. We remained friends, and over the past few weeks she has been talking to me more. She started calling me "sweetie" again, and telling me she missed me. She started calling sometimes just to talk. She would text sometimes.

 

I was feeling great. I really thought that she was starting to regret her decision and that she wanted to get back together. Exactly what I wanted. Until two days ago, my friend told me that she had been grinding with some guys at a party. He also told me that she got really drunk one night and made out with some random guy. Before she went to college, she was absolutely, 100% against drinking, and now apparently that's all she does. She just seems like a completely different person.

 

When my friend told me that I really, really freaked out. I was getting dizzy, light-headed, my arms were going numb, I couldn't speak without stuttering. It was a really bad panic attack. I was seriously contmeplating hurting myself. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to die.

 

I have cut myself in the past once, and I realized how stupid it was. However, I really wanted to just * * * *ing die that night. I didn't want to be alive anymore. Instead, I met with some friends of mine and I got drunk (I've never drank before). I know this was probably not the best idea but it seemed like a damn good one at the time. Now I'm just feeling totally depressed. She doesn't know that I know the stuff she's been doing. I feel like I have to talk to her about it, but I don't know how or what to say. I'm afraid that if we talk about it, she's just not going to talk to me anymore. I don't want that to happen. I just want to be with her. I'm still holding out hope that we can be together, and I don't want to ruin it.

 

Any help or advice or anything you guys can offer me would be great. I'm just having a really, really tough time with this. Thanks so much.

 

Mike

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sanders,

 

Of course she's changing..she is in college and "sowing her oats". This does not mean she is a bad person, or doesn't care about you anymore...she is doing what typical college kids do. She will grow tired of the partying scene....but you telling her it bothers you will likely NOT make her stop. You are young and should be having fun. Getting drunk and stupid is not going to help matters either. Perhaps you might want to focus LESS on what she is doing right now and more on yourself. You said she is contacting you...so let her do that. Meanwhile, live your life. I know..easier said than done, but there's really not much more you CAN do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi , this is sending you down a road you dont want to be my friend . You need to look after yourself as a PRIORITY. Shes partying and you are dying inside. Thats not the way it should be .I know you cannot avoid going through this when your feelings are so strong and i hate saying this but you cant change her mind on what she wants to do. So where lies the answer ? you have to get through , let her see you as someone she can get in touch with if you can handle that. Personally i,d be outa there. Too much more of the same ahead . Ive been down this route and it hurts till you say thats it. save yourself mate With what shes been doing is she really the person you want to be with?

stay safe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi , this is sending you down a road you dont want to be my friend . You need to look after yourself as a PRIORITY. Shes partying and you are dying inside. Thats not the way it should be .I know you cannot avoid going through this when your feelings are so strong and i hate saying this but you cant change her mind on what she wants to do. So where lies the answer ? you have to get through , let her see you as someone she can get in touch with if you can handle that. Personally i,d be outa there. Too much more of the same ahead . Ive been down this route and it hurts till you say thats it. save yourself mate With what shes been doing is she really the person you want to be with?

stay safe

 

I know in the end she probably isn't. She was just my entire life for a year and a half, and my first girlfriend. To see her doing this * * * * just absolutely kills me. Especially with facebook, I can see all the guys hitting on her and the pictures she posts of parties and her with different guys. It's * * * *ing killing me, man. But she's my best friend. I pretty much shunned all of my friends while I was with her so that I could spend time with her. I just don't know what to do. I can't focus on school, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can barely finish the workouts at track practice. This * * * * is * * * *ing up my whole life, man. I scheduled an appointment with a counselor for Wednesday, but I don't know if I can wait that long. I don't know. This is just destroying me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i'm going thru the same thing exactly man. It's so frusterating and i'm miserable. But, we're in this together, we need to be strong. If it was meant to happen then it would, is what i keep tellling myself.

 

Yeah, that's what I tell myself, too. It's the worst feeling ever. I try to surround myself with friends. A lot of my friends are going through the same kind of thing with their girlfriends, so it's nice to have them to talk to about it. I just miss what I had with her so much. It was so perfect.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...