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i need your advise - how do i approach hubbie


Mrs T
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Hi

 

I got married a few months ago and my situation is a bit of a strange one, i have part brought a house with my parents, way before i even met my husband- he knows about this obviously, it has caused problems as it means my financial sitation is tight---i give him £300 a month towards housekeeping etc -- help pay bills, its as much as i can afford as my mortgage is around £600 at the moment---the reason i am looking for advise is quite simple but prob sounds quite sad- i need to get my hair done and get a new winter coat- as its getting colder and i cannot afford to do either of these without some help from my husband, but i feel embarrassed and dont know how to ask him, to for example, can i just give you £200 this month so that i can get a new coat- more important then hair--- i do have a coat, but its not very smart and for work looks a bit (weekendish) am i wrong to ask for a bit of cash, he doesnt spend much on me, i dont on him either, as neither of us are flush with money --- he does save quite a bit of the money i give him though which goes into an account, we very rarely go out or spend much etc in fact, he is quite tight ---- i just dont know how to ask for help

 

he brought me a bag y/day from jane norman for £12 -he prob wotn spend any more on me for quite some time and although this doesnt bother me as i do have some money each month - around £100 in total to buy costmetics/ personal bits/ any clothes that i need- he doesnt buy anything that i need generally --- i am fine with this- as its the 21st century now but i just wondered if i was wrong to ask for help, my parents feel that as he is my husband he should provide a coat at least

 

am i wrong here - please be honest, if you thinki am being selfish xx

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Isn't marriage about sharing? Sharing problems, sharing money, sharing your life?

 

I would definitely ask him to help you out here. Don't feel bad about it...

If he doesn't respond well to this, try and put aside money each week, a bit at a time, until you can afford to get a coat and get your hair done.

 

Best of luck, and I hope things go well for you...

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Why are you buying a house with your parents?

 

I agree that marriage is about sharing but you two seems to have it set up so that your finances are entirely separate. It seems to me that you may be advised to look beyond the immediate need for hair styling and a coat and work out a plan so that your finances are managed in a more equitable way. That would include sharing both income and expenditure and assets - including any equity that you are building up in the house since your marriage.

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