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Is there something wrong with me?

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Hello Everyone,


I am new here, I just signed up about 10 minutes ago. I have a problem and I've been having it all my life. I started looking for a serious relationship at around age 13. Alot of people tell me that that age was very young to even bother with such things. Now that I'm older, I still have yet to even find anyone for myself. I am 21 now and still am single. Sure I've gone on dates here and there, but nothing serious. I've had multiple relationships with many different girls of different ages. I find myself being attracted to girls about four to five years younger then myself. I am told by everyone that I just need to find someone my age, and I have to admit sometime I will find a girl who's about 16 or 17 with a very mature mindset. I talk to my Mother about it and she calls me a pedophile, which is rather hurtful, and it echoes in my mind whenever I become close to a younger girl. I like immaturity to a point. I am a very weird and random person with a strange sense of humor. I find most women my age are into sex, drinking, parties, college, and dating around; which I am not. I also notice that older women are attracted to me as well. I have dated a woman who was 37, another who was 30, and one of my best friends is 41. Out of all women I've met, drama comes with all ages. I despise drama with a passion and it is very rare I find someone who isn't all about "he said, she said, she had sex with this guy, he did this, he cheated on her, and did this." That's petty Highschool stuff. I enjoy romance, candlelit dinners, and I would love to be able to find someone who refers to sex as "making love" instead of F-ing or having sex. I think the other two are dirty. I want someone who is romantic, funny, mature (but can also be immature, but not to immature), and that is just so hard to find these days. Someone who isn'y obsessed about sex or having fun, someone who can be serious. I want a decent relationship, I'd love for one day to maybe have children or get married. Most of the dates I go on or the "relationships" I get into; the girl just wants one thing, or she cheats, lies, or uses me.


Does anyone else have this problem?

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to share.



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I think you are looking for something that many people actually want. You are one of the few to realize it at your age...many don't, till they hit their late twenties. I wouldn't characterize your expectations as a "problem"....So, you prefer younger girls or older women....many people have spouses who are younger or slightly older than them....so eventually, all of us will end up with a partner with has a age difference.

As of right now, I think you should just give yourself some time to meet people. Be upfront about your expectations, go slow, and see where it progresses. Eventually, you will meet someone who you are compatible with...only a matter of time.

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My honest opinion is that you are afraid of women your own age. You seem smart enough to realize that people can not be categorized and painted with one brush. Of course there are women your age who you would be a good match with.


You are 21 now, so to fool around with teenagers is to put yourself in a sticky situation. Sometimes legally, sometimes just practically. So I wonder why you would choose that...when there are other options.


I am not saying there is something 'wrong' with you. But I do think you are scared of something you are not sharing.


Are you fully self-sufficent yourself?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think your perfectly fine!!! I would think that younger girls though would be the ones that really don't know what they want and it would be easy to get hurt!! your not too old at all!! in the eyes of the law your too old for a 16 or 17 year old but honestly girls mature a great deal at that age!! I know since im an 18 year old female and i've NEVER dated someone my age for their immaturity! So far as your mom calling you a petaphile thats not cool and your not!!!!!!!! i think it would be a little sick if the girl was 13 or younger but i really believe that alot of the time age isn't nothing but a number and it's really about the mental status!! just be careful law wise!!

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