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I got dumped last week... long story short I thought she was cheating on me and would let her know i thought so and finally she couldn't take it anymore. But after everything we talked and she continued to tell me that it was over that she still loved me, and was still in love with me, but she couldn't be hurt anymore. She has since talked to my brothers wife and told her that she hopes one day that our paths cross again and that she has been hurting this whole time that we have been apart and she loves me very much. So what am i supposed to think, i have been holding on to hope regarding the paths crossing statement. i am pretty much just holding on to that and hoping that she will call someday to tell me she can't do it anymore it hurts too much. anyone else ever been in this situation and what happened? i don't want to hold on to hope but i am so crushed right now...

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i understand the pain. my ex came back to me a month or so ago, and i believed that we had another shot. tonight, he broke up w/me for the 2nd time using his various problems as an excuse. i feel totally played! beware of a reconciliation. i know for me, i could never, in my mind, trust him fully b/c of past experience with him. it bothers me that he spends all his time helping his friends w/their problems/lives when his own life is in such disaray. i hope things get better for you. time is really the only medicine.

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Women seem to have a much easier time turning off the love than men. At least that is what I see. Mine just shut me out like it was the easiest thing in the world. From I love you and buying brides magazines to good by. I kept questioning her fidelity and that really pissed her off. Maybe I drove her away. I don't know but the outcome is not good. She is gone. I hope our paths cross someday as I really love her.

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Its easy to turn off now because this is the 2nd time this guy burned me. He did pretty much the same as your ex. Came to me after being apart for a month, said he loved me and wanted me back only to tell me 3 weeks later that it was a manic episode that I triggered. And what's worse, is that if I hadn't called him, he was going to e-mail break up w/me! What really angers me is that he doesn't take care of his problem through the proper meds/therapy and continues to feel that he's qualified to advise others as he is constantly doing so on this site. He needs help!

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the reasoning behind me not trusting her was her lying sister, who at the time was dating my good friend. so like any good friend if he heard something from the sister he would tell me, over, and over, and over again. she continued to deny anything ever, and i believed her after awhile, but if something else came up i went right back to not believing her and bringing up the past. now i sit here wondering if i will ever hear from her again hoping that she sees that i am getting help for my trust issues (i have a friend who told me she noticed it also i have known her for 6 years and it took me 4 to finally trust her) and i am trying to better myself, but deep down inside i am doing it so i can show her that we can make this work. she always fought for our relationship she always told me that i was the one, that i meant too much to her to let go...

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I am currently in my second week of therapy(1st week of NC) for the trust issues... for as far back as i can remember i have had them, i tend to give people enough information about me and then it turns around and bites me in the butt... as far as the trust we have had two falling outs over the trust issue she broke up with me becuase i blamed her for cheating, she called after one day of NC and told me she can't be without me... then i meet up with her after work one day and we got into it again, 6-8 months after the first time, once again my trusting her was the issue.

 

i have a fear of being hurt. so the last time she went away for a weekend and i only heard from her 3x 1 text and one call before she got on plane and one before she came back home. she is afraid to fly so i asked her to call when she landed so i know she was ok... well i got a text the next day saying she was going to a football game and she loved me, i sent 2-3 text messages after that and nothing... finally i hear from her on the day of her return and we get into it. she says she loves me and this is worth fighting for for us. the next morning we talked, i argueed and she said she need sometime to think.

We talked that evening and she asked for a week, telling me she loves me but was unsure if she was in-love with me... i gave it to her(the hardest week of my life) and then the following wednesday she says she loves me and is in love with me but can't be hurt anymore... she threw in at the end and even told my sister-in-law that, she hopes our paths cross somewhere down the road... now i am reading into that hoping for the end of the path?! i told her i was going to therapy for us and for my problem, but she said she already made up her mind.

 

she had slways said that i would have to break up with her, and if we did we would get back together(early on in the relationship we talked about this)... she also told me that she feel in love with me when we first met and that i was the first guy she ever wanted to move out with and try a future... i was afraid to move out, (this is my very first relationship)... if anyonme can help sorry about the length, thank you.

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i too was in a relationship where i could totally see a future w/this person - a home, kids, the works - and then he left - for the 2nd time. so, i truly understand your trust issues and i understand your pain.

 

its great that you have taken the steps to seek therapy to help put your mind at ease and possibly make things clearer for you. you should be proud of yourself - not everybody is brave enough to take that first step.

 

its hard to let go of the pain, i know. wondering 'what if' will eventually consume you,and, she said she already made up her mind. work on letting go, maybe start a new hobby - help people on this sight in similar situations with things you've already learned from yours, hang out more with your friends. it might help you to write her a letter, since talking may be difficult, saying that you'll respect her wishes to go separate ways and that you will cherish what you had and wish her the best for her future. you could feel great relief from this and possibly move forward.

 

all the best!

s-

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