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Hey everybody,

Just need some advice from some people that are probably older and wiser than I, lol! My situation is similar to a girl's post a lil ways down. Here's my story:

 

I am 20 years old and in college in Madison, WI. My boyfriend is going to school in Milwaukee, WI, which is about an hour away. We have been together for about 3 years, 2 of the years we have been apart at college. I plan on moving to Milwaukee next year after I am done with school, he'll still have one more school of year left.

Our relationship has been great. We have little drama and fighting, we do sweet things for each other, all around great! Long distance has been hard but we've been doing fine up till now. About a month he was being kind of distant and he decided he needed some space. We decided that we could see other people during this time.

The first two weeks we didn't talk much, but lately he has started calling me again every night and has come to visit me some weekends. He says I am a great girl and everything that he's looking for and we talk about me moving there next year, but he says he doesn't want to commit again right now. I feel like he only wants to be with me when it's convenient for him, otherwise he wants to do his own thing. It's really hard for me to move on when things are so great between us except for that.

So what should I do? Should I try and find other people to date.. be nice to him wait for him to figure things out.. blow him off completely? Right now I feel like I should just wait and see and continue to talk to him and stuff, but I don't want to seem desperate and then get my heartbroken later. I don't know what to do!

 

Thanks!

-Shannon

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Welcome to ENA shanshan2786! Great to have you around here!

 

Well, from what you've written and how it was presented, it sounds like you guys have a relationship with a sound basis that is for the most part good. I wouldn't in any way be quick to dismiss this...

 

You're 20 and he's 19? And you're both at college? This is a time for a lot of change and discovery for both of you. His committment concerns/fears are normal I think. He probably perceives some pressure with you making the sacrifice to move there "for him". And I would certainly feel the same way...

 

I would ask him what happened in those first two weeks "apart" as well. My guess is he had his eye on someone else, wanted to check that out, wanted to answer a question, it probably didn't turn out as he hoped, now has "come back" to you...just a guess there... If that is so (or even if he just wanted some time to be alone), will it happen again? Time will tell...

 

What I would suggest you do is exactly what you feel like you should do: wait and see and continue to talk to him and stuff. I wouldn't date other people, I wouldn't play games with this, I would devote your attention, brain- and heart-power to making this situation work out. If it works out, that would be fabulous. If it doesn't, you can look back on this and know you gave it 100%...

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