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I cant believe this happened to me!


Darb
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I went over my girlfriends house the other night and we hung out and watched a movie and shot some pool....all was well, I stayed all night there and in the morning we got up and we had sex.

 

I had to work that day but didnt have to go in till a little later....I am normally gone very early in the morning but not this day.

 

I am out with her in the kitchen about an hour later and her phone rings....she said hmmmm it says some kind of storage place on my caller ID and she answers it.

 

It was a guy on the other end talking to her and I could hear the whole conversation because the phone was on so loud! he asked her is she wanted to go out to breakfast and they had small talk and he asked if he can stop over on his way to work.......and she said YES while I was standing right there!

 

I could not believe this was happeneing while I was right there! I asked who that was.....and she said it was her SISTER! and she was askin her if she wanted to go out to eat. I called her out on this and said what the hell are you talkin about that was a guy on the phone and said I heard the whole conversation, well she said I was crazy and that it was her sister.

 

I sat down at the table then all the sudden she said "well I am gonna take a shower and go to the store are you leaving for work now"? I knew some guy was coming over and I said no I am gonna hang out a while because I do not have to work yet.....she starts getting very nervous and was pretty much pushing me out the door and practically begging me to leave....... so I did

 

I get in my car and back out of the driveway and take off and I pass a white truck with some guy in it on the way and I just knew that was the guy going to her house.....I circled around just to make sure and sure enough he pulled in her driveway and got out.

 

I couldnt believe this was happening, I have only been with her for about 4 months but this was just crazy! I immediately called her up when I seen the truck and asked her what the hell was going on...she said she would call me back in an hour.

 

We talked about the whole thing for a long time and the best answer I got from her about this guy is that he is a "PROSPECT" and now all the sudden she doesnt wanna be tied down and doesnt want a serious relationship, supposedly nothing has happened with this guy yet.....so she says.

 

I am very tore up about this and I cant stop thinking about it, she says she still wants to see me but she just doesnt wanna have a serious relationship and she wants to take it day by day......whatever that means. I told her I wanna be with her but I want her to only be with me....and she said NO.

 

This woman has told me she loved me and we have spent a ton of time together.....I just feel so lost.

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Wow, darb, I am really sorry you had to go through this.

 

She is screaming red flags right and left.

 

First she lies to you about it being her sister on the phone.

 

Then she practically shoves you out of the house because he is on his way over.

 

Finally, she tells you that he is a prospect of hers.

 

Why settle for crumbs when you can have the whole cake?

 

She wants to keep you on the back burner in case she can't find better.

 

Walk away, she is only going to bring you heart-ache.

 

She is manipulative and dishonest and you deserve better.

 

Hugs, Rose

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So sorry this happened.

 

I think the only thing you can do is walk away from her and never look back. Take the time to heal but eventually find a girl who understands what being in a loving relationship is all about.

 

Never - ever - take her back should she ask.

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I agree with DN. Walk away and never look back. In fact, you should call her right now and break up-- yes, do that over the phone. She is not who you thought she would be and there is no reason to waste time on her. She is clearly not mature enough for seeing that there is more to a relationship than HER alone.

 

She cannot be trusted- she lied, she was establishing meetings and who knows if 'nothing happened'? Surely she wouldn't arrange to meet someone she doesn't really know in her house at breakfast time? Strange story.

 

Take care,

 

Ilse

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by prospect I mean......future boyfriend

 

I have never been treated this way in my entire life and the more I think of it the more upset and pissed I get, this woman is 36 years old! and she had the nerve to call me immature when we were talkin on the phone and said I was very possesive which I am not....she is trying to put the blame on me it seems.

 

I just cant believe she would lie right to my face and push me out the door so I wouldnt be there when some guy shows up.....and we just had sex like 30 minutes before hand!

 

I know I shouldnt think this way...but i want revenge! I wanna get her over my house and have sex with her and right after open my door and tell her to get out and say "you are off the prospect list"

 

I know I wont do this because I am a good person and I do have morals...but I really cared for this woman and she crushed me.

 

I called her a couple times after all this happened and told her my feelings and that i really care about her and tried to talk to her about this, alot of times I would ask her a question and she wouldnt even answer me she would just sit there or her answer would be "I DONT KNOW".

 

I guess I can never speak to her again...its just crazy this happens out of nowhere like this, i just cannot believe someone would do that to someone right in front of them..........and then lie right to my face

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Yep take all the advice and get out now. It hurts but it would hurt alot more 4years from now when you wasted all your time on her. Shes obviously a compulsive liar and a good one at that. I have some experience with this.

 

I remember my ex just having to answer the cell right after sex like a few minutes after in the beginning of our relationship because it was a guy 'friend' on the phone. I was like does she really have to talk to this friend right now? Of course later on he turned out to be more than just a friend (apparently some LDR). Made me feel kind of not so special. She was in her thirties also and she never stopped lying to me.

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I just do not understand why people lie like this and cheat...... it will all come out in the end why not just be honest. I really cared for this woman and treated her good and for her to lie right to my face and pretty much beg me to leave her house so I wouldnt be there when some guy came over blows my mind!

 

I have spent alot of time with her and really have got attached to her and to be treated like this really destroys me..... I really wish I would have never met her.

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I'm so sorry this happened to you I know it's extremely hard to move on from something you want and walk away from someone you care about, but I do agree with what everyone else has been saying... this girl will only end up hurting you more if you stay with her. You want to be with someone who KNOWS what they have when they have you; someone who feels and treats you the same way you do to them. Obviously, this woman was not doing this and she does not deserve such a great guy. Think of how many nice, caring women there are out there... you WILL find someone who will treat you wayyyy better than that and that's exactly what you deserve. I suggest deleting her number, SN, email address ect. just to try and forget about her. Don't speak to her anymore and don't let her bring you down. Go out and start talking to other woman and you'll feel great. There are plenty of them out there for you

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You only have a few months invested, not married, no children with her... id get out now, run dont walk to the nearest exit.

 

You just saw the real her, and it aint pretty. She lied, shes probably cheating, she thinks you are an idiot I guess if she will have that conversation with you in the room, she doesnt respect you, you clearly dont have the same goals when it comes to a relationship.

 

Id have a 'prospect' for her, GOOD BYE I really cant think of a reason to try and make it work if I were in your shoes. 4 months isnt long, not long enough to get wrapped up into all the drama this brings.

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i'm sorry to hear about this, you must be really hurt.

 

you know, you do deserve better than this treatment. this is no relationship, where people go out on dates with other people. it's not proper, and it's not right. she is the one with the problem, here, because with the way she's acting, men are going to chew her up and spit her out over and over again.

 

do yourself some good and get out of this while it's easier-- don't wait until it's been 4 years and she's cheated on you 5 times.

 

good luck. hope you get through this.

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I am the one who posted this and I wanna thank everyone for their advice on it all. I am feeling very lost right now and feel so alone over this. I was pacing back and forth last night in my house with my phone in my hand and I gave in and called her, I just couldnt stop myself fro doing it, we talked for a long time and she said she doesnt wanna serious relationship and doesnt wanna be tied down but she still wants to talk to me which i dont understand at all. She said she has never cheated on me and swears to it but it is probably all lies we talked for a while and she said she would call me today after she got off work but she never did.

 

I drove by her house tonight....... I know sounds like a stalker but I am really not and I just miss her alot and I cant help it, she was home and I just drove off. I called her when I got home..... I know I am stupid but I cant help it, she never answered when I called but I left a message telling her to give me a call

 

I am trying to get over this but right now I am still a mess and I just feel so lost and lonely but I have finally commited to not calling her ever again and I am gonna stick to it...... I just really cared alot about her and miss her a great deal.....and I know I shouldnt care at all becuase of the way she treated me but I cant help it.

 

I got a very strange phone call last night at about 2am, it said private call on my cell phone which normally that is what I always get when she calls me but I am on call for my job and it shows up as private occasionally so I answered it, there was someone on the other line but they wouldnt say a word, but they would make weird growling noises and then just sit there and not say a word....this went on for several minutes with me yelling at them and I finally hung up the phone, It was very spooky and weird.

 

Im just trying to find strength to just forget about this but right now it is very hard for me to do.

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by prospect I mean......future boyfriend

 

This is really sad. Anyone who had any respect, honesty, dignity and integrity knows that you don't shop for other prospects when you are with someone.

 

I hope you delete her number from your phone and don't give her the satisfaction of being "friends" (which really just means keeping you around in case she can't find anything better).

 

She just repulses me.

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This woman has proved to you that she is not the person you thought she was. Now that you know that, whenever you miss her or feel like you want to see her or call her, you have to replace the image of the woman you are missing, the woman you fell in love with, with the unfaithful woman who has lied and cheated on you. Always, always separate these two images and make sure the second image is the one that sticks, because when you feel weak--which is very normal--you'll end up talking to the person who has hurt you. I know it's painful, and I know it hurts, but you just have to be strong enough for your own good.

 

I just want to say that it's a shame that women like her get to be with guys like you! You know you deserve much better than a liar and a cheater.

 

Now take all the facts you have and put them into action. Ask yourself, now that I know all these things that have brought me nothing but pain and suffering, what am I going to do about it? Breakup with her will be my advice.

 

Hang in there, keep your self preoccupied and try to find someone to hang out with (family and friends). Keep yourself busy and allow your wound to heal, because unfortunately, things like these don't just go away that fast. And whenever you feel like talking, call a friend or logon here; you obviously have a lot of people who care about you right here at eNotAlone.

 

Good luck..

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This is a terrible situation, yet it is also an object lesson on why it's sometimes good to act on impulse.

 

Had you called her when your blood was up and you were angry, you not only would have dumped her but you would have made her feel bad. This would have been the ideal outcome. Now you've given her some time to explain herself, which is totally unnecessary.

 

Dump her over the phone NOW. I know it's the middle of the work day, but leave her a voicemail if necessary. Stop torturing yourself. Just do it. Worry about your feelings later. Objective number one is getting her out of your life, burning your bridges, and sparing yourself any future embarrassment from driving past your house and calling her.

 

I have to break it to you - right now, to drive past her house, to call her, to make ANY contact with her - that's lowering yourself. SHE'S the . Why would you show an you care? Don't stoop, dude! Get your head on straight and get her out of your life!

 

A hard lesson for us nice, sane people is that not nice, semi-insane people don't have the same feelings we do. They can hurt you and not care. There's a chance she'll never feel bad about what she's done and you can't make her. The only consolation you have is that you're not as jaded and awful as she is. Thank goodness for that!

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