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What's up with chics always wanting a guy who is taller than she is ?


CyberCowBoy
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I have to send props out to the fairer sex as they claim to look for traits and qualities that are deeper than appearances and they actually do go for these qualities.

However, in every girls profile of what is attractive to her is always "since of humor, confident, and he has to be taller than me..."

 

This has to be some innate primal thing as it is not rational for that to be a requirement. It is a requirement for every single female, those who do not require it wish the guy was taller if they get into a relationship with a shorter guy.

 

I have no chip on my shoulder or napoleon complex, I'm 5'10 so I make the cut with a good size portion of the female population (pun indented - see I have since of humor too) Anyway, I have no dog in this fight, just wondering if the ladies can give a reasoning for this desire or if they have to write it off as a simple biological desire like guys and breast, that makes no logical since either.

 

I understand why a girl would want a guy older than she, that evens out the maturity gap given that females are several years ahead of men in maturity at any given age. Also an older man is more than likely more established and a better provider. These have explanations , but not the taller guy thing....

anyone, anyone?.... Bueller ? Bueller??

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I am not sure why I do. But I do. And it's not helping ME either lol, because I am over 6' ft. I have had a couple of bf's that were just about that length, and my current man is about 2 inches taller.

 

To be honest, I'd lie if I said I didn't mind. I guess it's biology? Protection? I can't believe I am saying that but...

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I prefer taller guys too. It's not really hard criteria to meet though.. I'm only 5' 2.5".

 

Why do I prefer tall guys? Because I like to have a man's arms wrapped around me and I feel smaller and safer if they are taller than me. I just like that.

 

But it's just a preference. If someone was shorter than me and I was attracted to their personality I would date them if I was available. I know this from experience only this hasn't happened since I was 14 years old.

 

I wanted to add that being attracted to physically attractive things makes very good biological sense. Males are attracted to breasts and other physical characteristics that at one point in time would have signaled fertility. Also, being attractive in general once was a good indicator of health. Females or a majority of females may prefer a taller, stronger looking man because of the roles that males once used to play as the hunter and protector.

 

Think of the mating dances that many species of animals partake in. And what about a peacock's tail feathers? It's all about survival of the fittest. Of course, we've come a long way but at one point in time it was very important for survival.

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I also prefer taller men. it is primal. If I am with a man my height or shorter, I feel "bigger" than him, and I don't like that feeling. Maybe it is that primal desire to be protected, but I like a taller, more musclar man to make me feel "safe."

 

It's certainly not a logical feeling. I've met many men who were great guys who asked me out, but I said no. If they were a few inches taller, I would have said yes. And i realize that's horrible, but I can't help if I don't feel attracted to them. I can definitely overlook other stuff.... like balding or a few extra pounds, but not the height.

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Since when has attraction been a logical thing? One of the great human follies is that we are attracted to other human beings without any regard to reason (oftentimes leading to emotionally devastating relationships). At the same time, however, if we all started logically caclulating our relationships we would lose all the heated passion that makes romantic relationships so powerful.

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Oddly enough, there's another thread on a very similar topic here:

 

Mulling this over a bit, could it be when some people say, "looks don't matter" what they really mean is, "I don't buy into the cultural ideal of what a guy/gal is supposed to look like to be attractive,"...but they still have a few preferences of their own that may or may not be a part of that ideal?

 

So, a gal might prefer a guy to be taller than her, but not care about a guy having a ripped, super-fit build...or a guy might prefer a gal with blonde hair, but not care if she's build like a Barbie doll.

 

Being single and dating has its challenges. One of them is realizing that people are going to have some very arbitrary preferences (which they have every right to have) and their preferences have nothing to do with you.

 

Having a few preferences, whether they be physical, intellectual, career choice, etc. narrows down the field of potential mates. Since dating is, to some extent, an exclusionary process, if you can limit your options to a field of potential mates who have certain traits you know push your buttons, you save yourself a little time and effort in the weeding out process.

 

I have yet to meet someone who doesn't have at least subject or two where they have a few inconsistencies in their beliefs/actions. We all have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to our own hypocrisy.

 

Just a theory.....

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I'm right there with ILSE... I'm 6'1" tall, and am just attracted "more" to a taller man. I recently got a kick out of just standing next to a guy who was 7'6".... . Maybe its the primal thing... dunno.

 

Slow dancing is a lot more fun!!!

 

AND... with taller guys I don't have to be shoe conscience, I can wear a pair of heals

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I think this is spot-on. And I hope that people have read the last sentence. Too many people will justify their own physical preferences and condemn those of other people as 'shallow' and preach about how physical attributes shouldn't matter - it's what's inside that counts.

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If you're going by what women put in their online profiles about wanting a tall guy, it's because most men lie online about their height (as well as their income), just like women probably lie about their age and their weight (posting outdated photos). For some odd reason, I'm a little under 5'4", so I know how tall a man is when we meet in person, yet most men will select 5'10" as their height online even if they're really around 5'6". Maybe women prefer men who tell the truth.

 

5'4" is a great height, BTW, because I don't ever get my jeans altered in length if I wear heals and most guys are taller than I am.

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I thought Down-in-a-whole had a great point...perhaps the whole question moot: "is there logic in this universal quality women like?"

Because logic is not the dominate element in male-female attraction, its unexplainable magnatism , and it would kinda ruin all the fun if relationships were like a math problem. The question is a novelty, a piece of brain candy.

And Annie24, right on girl! Don't appologize 4 nuttin. The is nothing inherintly wrong with having exterier deal breakers. In fact, one's personality is a superficial trait.

Also, I hope my previous post on this topic did not leave the impression I was judging or condemning. No hiprocracy here, I am an admitted super-duper superficial searcher of potential dates. Maybe the reason im 38 and single is cause I look to much at the superficial. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but it has caused me to miss out on a whole lot of great lost potential companionship as that has become less of an issue for me as I mature.

I was not at all asking "why do girls dare have a physical quality as part of thier turn-ons" I was taking the angel of "its kinda neat the most common denomiator of female likes is hieghth, and why is that? discuss , compare and contrast?"

I mean I get so tired of girls fawnning all over me just cause Im a crackerjack speller and have won several spelling bees. I'm more than just a dictionary

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In fact, one's personality is a superficial trait.

 

??????????....I'm not even going to touch this one...

 

Anyway, as I had mentioned in my last post in the thread that shes2smart linked to, it's not precise to say that girls want *taller* guys. They just want *tall* guys. As in, guys who are average to above average.

 

A common misconception is that girls compare the guy's height to her own. No. She compares it to other guys' height. I am 5'6". I would look tall next to a 4'10" girl. Is she going to date me? Of course not! I'm still a short guy by society standards. The 4'10" girl and the 5'8" girl actually look at me in the same way. A short, undesirable guy as Annie was honest enough to reveal.

 

I put up with comments from my 'friends' that are supposed to be funny but really just make me more and more angry. Such as "you eat a lot for your height" and "wow, you have big feet for your height".

 

There's this 4'11" girl I met through a friend and she only dates guys who are at least 5'10". She won't even look at me or say hi to me, but will say hi to my/her common friend if we pass on the street.

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just a side note....

 

I know plenty of guys who are short (ie, 5'7" and below) who have quite a way with the ladies. One guy I know is about 5'6" and never has a shortage of women - why? He is charming and funny and flirty, he always has plenty of women after him.

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Neither gender has the market cornered for being rejected by various individuals because of physical traits, as New Horizons alluded to above.

 

At the same time, while physical traits may cause initial attraction, they won't keep someone around long term if that male or female hottie is mean, psycho, selfish, inconsiderate, a cheater, or any number of other ugly personality traits.

 

When I think of the guys I've had relationships with, there are no physical commonalities between them.

 

The ranged in height from 5'4" (shorter than me) to 6'4" (nearly a foot taller than me). Their ages ranged from 12 years younger than me to 18 years older than me. Their physical builds ranged from nearly skeletal-skinny to athletic to portly. Their hair/eye/skin coloring ranged from near-albino pale to jet black hair & eyes.

 

The things they did have in common with each other were things that were not necessarily visible:

 

>With one exception, they were artsy/creative writer/musician types.

>With one exception, they were not big sports fans

>All of them could make me laugh or make me think. The ones I stuck with the longest were the ones who could do both (even better if they could do both simultaneously)

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At the same time, while physical traits may cause initial attraction, they won't keep someone around long term if that male or female hottie is mean, psycho, selfish, inconsiderate, a cheater, or any number of other ugly personality traits.

 

 

True, but physical traits are like the first and most difficult hurdle to cross. If a guy has a good personality and absolutely rotten physical traits, he is never going to get a chance to let a girl see his personality. Statistically, a cute guy and an 'ugly' guy have 50-50 chances of having good or bad personalities, either way. Yet who has the better odds?

 

I was being slightly sarcastic with my above post. I hope women know how much they are hurting men with their arbitrary height limits. Many women have stated that once they fall in love with the guy, it doesn't matter anymore. In that case why not wait to see if you fall in love with him or not before rejecting him?

 

Okay...since the moderator deleted my above post because it contained *one* profane word quoted from the post before it, here's the gist. If women place minimum height limits before looking at a man's personality, men can place unreasonable maximum weight limits and can't be chastised for that.

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I'm not really sure why I prefer taller guys...

 

It's easier to snuggle I feel more secure with someone who is larger in proportions, if that makes sense...

 

I am not sure why I do. But I do. And it's not helping ME either lol, because I am over 6' ft. I have had a couple of bf's that were just about that length, and my current man is about 2 inches taller.

 

To be honest, I'd lie if I said I didn't mind. I guess it's biology? Protection? I can't believe I am saying that but...

 

I also prefer taller men. it is primal. If I am with a man my height or shorter, I feel "bigger" than him, and I don't like that feeling. Maybe it is that primal desire to be protected, but I like a taller, more musclar man to make me feel "safe."

 

It's certainly not a logical feeling. I've met many men who were great guys who asked me out, but I said no. If they were a few inches taller, I would have said yes. And i realize that's horrible, but I can't help if I don't feel attracted to them. I can definitely overlook other stuff.... like balding or a few extra pounds, but not the height.

 

This is the reason I have little confidence with women. People tell me to have confidence and women will find that attractive and thats all I need. People like that have been lying to me all my life. I'm not trying to be self-loathing it is just ridiculous for me to keep thinking that my height doesn't matter to women when it does. Height has nothing to do with looks, your looks you could change if you really wanted to. Being rejected by women for something I couldn't ever change is what keeps me up at night, and what makes me so unhappy. I just wish women like this knew how I feel when I read stuff like this, because they have no idea.

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well, you wanted an honest answer so I gave it to you. i wasn't trying to hurt.

 

you know, when i walk out on the street, I see plenty of people who are coupled up and in relationships. tall, short, big, skinny, ugly, beautiful.... they all found someone. yeah, your height isn't something you can change, unless you are a woman, then you can wear heels. but, if you are a guy, you are kind of stuck. heels look odd on guys. but.... I see plenty of shorter guys with wedding rings, so they all found someone, so don't use your height as an excuse.

 

I knew a wonderful, smart, gorgeous woman once. she had no boyfriend and the worst luck with men. she was your all-american blonde-hair, blue eyed girl of swedish descent. she had a part-time job as a model and, she graduated in the top 5% of her college class. tall and gorgeous, could not find a guy. why? she told me that most guys were intimidated by her, and the ones who weren't were jerks....

 

some people will always find an excuse why they are single.....

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Several months ago, there was a thread posted by a gal who was questioning her attractiveness and got it in her head that pretty girls had it easier.

 

I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told her, 'cause it applies to this height discussion, too....just substitute "being tall" for "being pretty"

 

 

 

The whole post is here:

 

I've been around the block a few times when it comes to relationships. Most people in good, healthy, lasting relationships have come to the realization that it's the contents of the package that really count and come into play on a day-to-day basis, not so much the package itself.

 

The older I get and the more people I meet, the more I swear that physical appearance is a very small piece of a good relationship. It doesn't matter. Seriously.

 

Why?

 

Because what any individual person (male or female) finds attractive is so highly subjective that no matter what your combination of looks and personality, there are going to be those of the opposite sex who will find you attractive. Of those folks, you're likely to find a mutual attraction to several of them. I swear, you could have a third hand growing out of the middle of your forehead and somewhere, at least one person would find that cute.

 

Much like job hunting, dating is very much a numbers game. If none of the potential candidates is going to work out, you just keep interviewing/dating until you find one that's the right fit.

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I loved that post, shes2smart.

 

It is very true. Just think of the times you have felt close to someone. Intimacy has nothing to do with how you look - it is really a levelling ground where all that matters are the deeper qualities. And isn't that the point of the attraction: to spark a start to intimacy? Having only physical attraction grows dull and dead very quickly. It doesn't satisfy that need for connection.

 

Sometimes that is hard to swallow because getting close with someone in an authentic way - where both see each other for who they really are - can expose our sore spots. Some people seem incapable of a deep connection. Don't matter - if you are ready for one, you will find someone on the same wavelength.

 

Salucious, why focus on the women who reject you based on things you can not change?

 

Something weird happened to me after making many mistakes, and having my try at casual sex, and experiencing a life led by impulse alone. I found out it was dead, and useless, and unsatisfying. Then I got together with my ex and I loved him.

 

How is this relevent? I figured out something that some others find out sooner and some way later. I found out that no matter Who you are, what you are, what you are doing - there will always be people attracted to you, and there will always be people rejecting you.

Even if you are a bum, or a model, or filthy rich. Don't matter.

Seriously, it is somewhat scary how many people don't get this. They make it about themselves.

And it is not personal! Really, it does not have to be personal at all.

It does not reflect on you. People are what they are.

Love doesn't have anything to do with that shyte. And neither does affection.

 

This short thing is becoming an obsession with you. Get rid of the label. It's subjective anyway.

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This is why I get confused, some girls have said that they look only for guys taller than them, then others say that physical attraction does not matter. I understand when they describe it as "primal" or when they say they can't explain it. So why do some girls still try to argue that height doesn't matter?I'm not intimidated by even gorgeous women, I don't get all nervous when I'm around them. I just think, "most women only want taller guys, and every guy in the room is taller, so why should I bother?" From most of the responses of females on here, I should be right when thinking that. I am NOT responsible for my hesitation, women are. I did not wake up one morning and think, "I'm going to assume that women will judge me by my height." It developed over time by how girls treated me compared to other guys. Maybe these other short guys that find women have been treated differently. Just because they found someone doesn't mean they were still rejected because of their height. So that just means I'm limited to a very small number of women that will even consider being with me. I remember specific times when I heard women discussing why they think guys should be tall so they exude a feeling of security for women. I totally understand why women want taller men, which is why i have this insecurity, because I know I lack that trait. The thing that makes me angry is that women here are basically tell me that my insecurity isn't justified, that I shouldn't feel this way or I'm "just making excuses" for being single. Are you kidding me? This insecurity didn't come out of nowhere, and it is won't go away just like that. I know it sounds like I'm blaming everyone but myself, I know I could have tried to be more confident growing up; but after so many years of nothing changing, I can't help but think it is out of my hands.

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I'm going to add something that hasn't been said.

 

Some of us just know what we feel comfy with.

 

Explanation: My son's father was about 5'8", decently built when we started dating. I'm 5'3" and was skinny when we started dating. Fast forward several months to when I was pregnant. He lost about 20#; I gained about 50. I felt like I was two times bigger than him. I felt weird. I can say, I honestly felt bigger standing "next to him" rather than standing alone. When we split, I decided I never want to feel bigger than the person I am with, pregnant or not.

 

Maybe a little shallow, I don't know. I just know that I felt like I was 2 times bigger and what guy would want to date a girl that's 2 times bigger than them? Not really a question for everyone but how I felt.

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