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Back to where you once were.


Heisinmyheart
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Ending the affair I was in was and still is at times, the hardest thing I have endured. ( I am the one who ended it.) I once said it was harder to deal with than a death. I am focusing on myself, working on healing me, my heart and my mind. I want to be the strong and independent woman I was a few years ago, before I allowed this invasion in my life.

 

To those who chose to end their affair, Do you feel like you are back to where you once were emotionally and mentally?

Have you become a totally different person all together?

How did you get thru it and make it all for the better for you?

 

Everyday I tell myself that I'll be okay and at night when I lay my head on my pillow to go to sleep, I am thankful I didn't receive a phone call or message from "the other person". It means to me that I made it just one step closer.

 

Those times that I do receive a phone call or message tho, it makes me thankful that I , for a minute, had enough strength to not fall back into the trap again.

 

As I have been told many times, Time heals.

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This is almost like dealing with a death. Yes you are going to hurt like hell. You will not see or talk to him again and that in itself is the part that is hard, like a death. Keep telling yourself that what you are doing the right choice, that this is your only option.

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I really admire you for ending the affair. I've never seen an affair that didn't absolutely devastate everyone involved, especially the women. I think getting out is the smartest thing to do.

 

From what I've seen, you don't really go back to being the same person. All experience changes us, whether it's a positive or a negative experience. How it changes us is up to us; you can choose what course of action you're going to take from this point on. You will be who you were, plus the outcome of the affair and your decision to end it. Ultimately, the personal qualities that made you a strong and independent woman before can do it again; you just need time to regroup and reorganize your goals around positive things again. I hope everything works out for you.

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Hi Heart,

 

Was thinking about you today and glad to see that you are doing better. Things are going better for me as well...Just celebrated my 40th Birthday...and for some reason got a new attitude with it. I have decided too that ending things with my affair is what I want...Not just what I should do....I have spent time talking to many supportive friends who have made me see things that I didnt want to see. My friend just told me

first off ... he was cheating on his wife while he was * * * *ing you ... what kind of morals does someone have to do that???? Like everyone keeps telling me....I was lied to, manipulated and made to believe that someone cared about me enough to leave his wife...when if fact it was all a game..I think much more of myself and I am now ANGRY that his person felt he could F with me. Im taking my life back...Thing is that these skuzbag men know how to pull the heart string and pop up at anytime its convenient to them...Be ANGRY!!!!

 

These men only have the "Power" that we allow them to have. Think about it...they cant even be honest with their "wives" what makes you think that they are going to be honest to you.

 

It shouldnt be something that is so debilitating that it affects our lives this much ladies...Because you can bet that they arent being affected in the least.

 

I have an 11 year old who asked me something about love the other day and why someone stays with someone instead of breaking up when they are being treated poorly...Think about it...Shes 11...we are adults...Shouldnt we know better...Shes going to have her heartbroken soon enough...Shes deserves a Mom that is going to be there for her...Not one that is debiliated and depressed over some silly love affair of her own.

 

 

Take Care and Continue on the road to Mental Health!

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