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Ok... so i know i shouldnt be thinking about this. But... anyway. I get this urge to talk to the ex. Our last talk went pretty well. And im pretty sure we could keep a casual conversation. I havent seen her for over a month, and only talked once to her since ( last friday ). Should i stay NC? Or contact.

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Hey there T&T,

 

I just read your other thread from October 5th.

 

Stay in NC. She broke up with you to be with someone else. The fact that you both never fought in the 2.5 years you been together screams volumes to me about your relationship overall. Fighting in a relationship is healthy. If neither person fought in the relationship, that shows the one or both of you sacrficied his/her feelings and needs instead of voicing them. I am sure your ex did stuff that ticked you off or something along the way came up that irked you to some degree. But perhaps you let it slide and did not talk to her about it. I am sure the same goes for her. Fighting or having little quarrels promotes communication, compromise, and strengthens the bond. It stinks to fight but it is inevitable. When my boyfriend and I have a tiff, I learn more about him and I feel so much better when we talk about it and get our feelings and thoughts on the table and learn about one another. Nothing can be all candy and roses 100% of the time.

 

My guess is your ex does not respect you. Perhaps you were too nice. Perhaps you let her walk all over you. Or vise versa. The distance between you allowed the relationship last a bit longer. It bought time. I am sure if you saw one another on a regular basis, things would have been different.

 

I know you still love her and want to be with her but breaking up screams volumes. I am sure she cares about you but it is my belief that if one loves the other, he/she would not break up with his/her partner.

 

Hang in there, you are doing great, stick to NC and try to keep busy.

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We had fights.. but nothing big. We worked out everything. .. forgive my typing for i have been out with friends for a good while. But i am positive that the reasons for our breakup had nothing to do with power struggles and more to do with a combination of her being afraid of me leaving her while i was away at college, her roomate pressuring her to go to more parties with her, and my comfortableness with her. I loved her with all my heart, but i didnt show it on my sleeve. And that is what hurts.

 

I find it comes into context of ... the grass is greener on the other side... She wanted to know. Of course that is my wishful thinking. I cant ask her now what really went wrong. Although i miss her dearly, no matter how many parties and people ( girls ) i hang out with. There arent too many one-of-a-kinds.

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