Luck of the Irish Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Just a quickie for anyone who wants to take the time to answer... My g/f won't stop talking to her ex. It's gotten better, but he still calls and she still answers. It was so bad that at first she would leave in the middle of a date and talk to him. Now she just calls him back after I leave. It's causing problems in our relationship. If it helps, we are planning long term things, and have already said the L word. But she won't stop talking to him! It's so annoying to be having a great day with her and then have that punk call. It ruins my mood. I've brought it up before that she eventually needs to STOP talking to him, and it never goes well. Whenever she does talk to him, she gets depressed and it all comes back on me. I have to deal with her moods. I have no clue what they talk about. I respect her and give her privacy, but it bugs me to no end. What can fix this? Im as patient as can be, but Im starting to unravel. Link to comment
VIRGOLDY Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Dude, you are way more patient than I would be. I would be telling her to hit the bricks by now. She is disrespecting you BIG TIME. I bet her "moodiness" after their talks is because things are NOT resolved with them. She should not NEED to talk to her EX if she is with you....... Link to comment
talo Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 If she is depressed after talking to him, will she talk to you about why she became depressed, ie what did they talk about that made her this way. If you are planning long term, you will need to be able to talk openly, honestly and caringly to each other in order to resolve such things. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 It was so bad that at first she would leave in the middle of a date and talk to him. Now she just calls him back after I leave. Good lord not to be or sound judgmental, but that ain't right man. That just ain't right!!! Thinking of some good, productive advice to give you here *taps fingers on table* You really need to talk to her about this "predicament". If you don't or she's not willing to, hate to say it, but you should consider this relationship "unravelled". Link to comment
Dr. Phil Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 I would be worried about something else going on other than just phone calls. I can see if they are still friends or whatever, but if she is putting him in front of you. Or if she is not being sensitive to your feelings then I would guess that she is probably still seeing him or is having mixed feelings about him. I would give her a ulitimatum. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Whenever she does talk to him, she gets depressed That sentence alone speaks volumes. Plenty of people still talk to their exes and that is perfectly fine if BOTH of them no longer have feelings for each other. However, this does not seem to be the case here. The fact that she gets depressed after talking to him indicates that she is not over him. How soon after her split with her ex did you two get together? Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Whenever I talk to someone who's depressed, through emotional contagion, I too become depressed. Maybe her ex is going through a hard time and he's manipulating and banking on her kindness? Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 you can't strongarm her into not talking to him, but you CAN tell her that it smacks of unresolved issues and that it's driving a wedge between you. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Well, to be honest with you the way that she's acting is all a result of your actions and by reading some of your old posts, you need help in understanding the fundamentals of interacting with women. This girl tests you all the time. She tests you to see if you have any guts and are willing to stick up for yourself, to see if you are confident, if you can be manipulated, if you really care about her. And you fail a lot of them, otherwise she wouldn't keep testing you. The problem with this is that it always ends in one of two ways, either in getting cheated on or left for some other guy. I just read your first post and she did cheat on you in the past. This is all to be expected. So what is the solution? You need to take a real hard look at how you're handling things, like how you always cave at the risk of losing her. Everytime she pulls something which disrespects you, you put out empty threats which she sees right through. We can only go so far in giving you the strength to stick up for yourself, that's pretty much in your control. But understand this, you need to lay it down very strict that if she doesn't end this with her ex on the next call, you end it immediately. Now you have the answer, but if you refuse to take it then you can't blame her because this is under your control. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 ^ geez that's a bit harsh!! Link to comment
Luck of the Irish Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 I just read your first post and she did cheat on you in the past. No, I sent the ex packing a long time ago. This is a new one. LOL. I talked to her about it. I told her it annoys the hell out of me. Today she is supposed to call him and end all conversation. Link to comment
Rabican Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 based on what you said (the moods, fights, depression, leaving to talk to him) I would just sit her down and tell her either I go, or you stop talking to the ex, your choice. Let her decide, and then stick to the descision. Thats just me. Link to comment
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