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first broken heart


nmbrc193
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hi,

this is my first broken heart.im only 19.

my ex said she wanted some time apart...that she needed time with school and she thought things happened too fas.we only went out for about 3 months but i got so unbeivably attached and my heart is broken now.i guess theres a possibility that we could get back together but i have a feeling we wont i almost wish it was an all out break up then iwouldnt have that thought in the back of my head "i hope we get back together. i jus wanna get over it...but i cant.i keep playin over and over in my head...all the fantastic times we have together then ibreak down and cry. how much longer will i have to go thru this pain????

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First thing is first, start taking care of yourself. If she wants time apart, make sure you do not start calling and trying to make a solid relationship just yet, give her space. Let her call you. Let her "worry" about you. It's hard to understand at this moment I'm sure, but trust me if you want to get back on the path do what I say. Ask anyone on here about the "No Contact Rule", it's pretty much what I said but I'm sure they can follow-up on this alittle more.

 

Now here is something I want you to do for me... Ask yourself is this worth it? TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU. Get past this and find what you want.

 

Trust me I've been there. But heed the warnings this girl is giving you. Can she be trusted so easy yet again?

 

-1911

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i have heard about the no contact rule. wen she broke it off i told her to take all the time she needs shes an amazing person and i really think shes worth waiting for.i never connected with someone like i did with her it was the most amazing thing ever. she thought i was gonna hate her but i am a very understanding person and i told her that i still wanna be friends with her.i hope she didnt take that like i permanently wanna be jus friends? i hope that dont put me in the "friends zone" i end up there very often.

 

neways i saw her at the football game las nite with her friends...and i jus kept walkin cuz she wanted room..and i wanted to follow the NC rule.

so later that nite she IM's me on AOL all sad cuz i didnt say hi to her???i dont understand this.i thougt she wanted space??? i told her that i didnt see her.we only talked for about 10min. jus casual stuff NO BREAK UP STUFF i jus kept it on a friendly level.i dont kno wat to think of this.

 

my question here is well she said there was a good possibility that well go back out.(wen we were breakin up) but she wants to be friends now? this doesnt make sense cuz i tought she wasnt gonna talk to me at all. wat does this mean? am i going to be permanently put in the "friends zone"? or is this a good way of getting back on the path?

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This is def a hard one, been there so many times, and the friend zone is not necessarily the best path (actually there right now, check out the friends and friendship forum for my post, friends of 2yrs now what?) ...

 

But my advice along with everyone else is def give her the space and its not about ignoring her but making "her think" about what has happenend...if she misses you in this period of space thats when things come back around, if she doesnt hopefully you will have moved on....but as far as the hello and we should be friends, i dont understand that accept it sounds like your breakup meant maybe you should be friends rather than lovers...or maybe she is just a good person and doesnt want to lose you at all....play it cool at this point and try not to get to analytical about everything (even though im guilty of that myself at times) bc it only drives you crazy...and try try not to call her or talk about feelings and such unless she brings it up first....believe me you'll get through it...the last thing i can leave you that has always been true for myself is this, "When one door closes, one always opens somewhere else." Use that to your advantage and dont be so blind with others in your life....Good Luck..

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TIME APART=CONFUSION

 

You are totally right, a clean break is much better than being in limbo! What you have to do is take control of things and let her know that you respect her decision although you don't agree with it and you are not going to wait around. This can only play on your emotions if you let it. Ask yourself this, reverse the roles would you take a break from her if you really liked her? I would strongly recommend moving on and finding someone who wants to be with you. Also, slow down a bit and don't be too needy, you may scare them off.

 

RC

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youre deffinetly right about bein too needy...thats me. its weird most people my age jus wanna have sex but i want love...i feel like i "need" a signnificant other.but im in college now so i do need to focus on that first.she has SATS in a week and she has extra classes she takes for school...she does have alot on her plate rite now.but these classes are over in like 2 weeks. i was gonna take that time to recover and i figure after she takes the test...we could see where we stand?

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I did i jus told her that i couldnt jus be friends with her b/c it just wouldnt work i said that i want NC for awile.i would like to be friends with her...but i would jus put myself thru more pain and that the las thing i want rite now. and she was okay with it then i said good bye and that was it. i kno it was the rite thing

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That took alot of courage to do so alot of props for you standing up for what you believe in..Now be strong and I agree find yourself a hobby and get into it, those types of things help you get through alot of hardship....For me I used to use my car as a get away, meet up with some guys and work on the cars, meet ups, go to the track etc...worked for awhile until it got to $$ ...but even things like sports or going to the gym which i use now as a natural motivator to tell myself when i bulk up, she is gonna look at me in a totally diff light....Just some suggestions...

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