Oh dear, I got a call, what do I do?!? Urgent!!

[Siriana]

If she says that she wants to get back together, but is unsure if it's the right time - this is nothing but the same game she plays over and over again.

Think about it: what are the chances of someone beeing really into you, but not wanting to be with you right away? Beeing preocupied with timing? What timing. You have no obstacles for beeing together.

She wants to keep her options open, in case her single life ends up worse than she imagined, or till she gets used on beeing single and aware that guys are interested in her.

[M-life]

Last Friday I started this thread, thinking it couldn't get any more complicated. This Friday, things have become much, much worse. Where do I begin? She called many times over the last days, saying she needed to talk. I finially broke down and answered today, and she said she wanted to meet me in person.

 

So after I got off work, we met at my place (big, huge mistake). She came in the door saying she thinks she wants us to start again, but needs a little more time. She left 2 hours later, saying she is sure she wants to start again, but needs a little more time. You can probably guess what happened in between (the huge mistake).

 

How did I let myself do this? I knew it was a mistake when it was taking place. And now I have a million more questions. Where do we go from here? Is she using me? Was I using her? What is next? I started to feel love for her again, but I never showed it. As she left, she kept trying to kiss me and say she loved me, but I would not respond. This only made her do it more. But she left on a good note. She told me she hopes we get back together soon, and she said she was fine when I told her I am not going to sit here and wait for her, not for a second. She said things will work out with time. And then she walked away.

 

I have to say I thought I would be sad all over again when she left, but I am not at all. In fact, I feel pretty good for the first time in a month. I feel that I don't need her back at all, but it sure was nice. Could this have possibly helped things? Maybe I am still confused.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

IMO, in my opinion is she truly loves you, she would waste no time getting back together with you, none of this "I need more time" malarky. My word, I cannot imagine doing this to my boyfriend, he means so much to me, I treasure him and I cannot possibly imagine not being with him. In my darkest hours, I need him more than ever. So these excuses she is giving you about school and a marathon she is running in, is just that....excuses. Excuses to keep you near and as insurance.

 

Please, please go back and re-read this whole thread and the advice and insight that was given, I believe all of it holds water, even after tonight's events. Sorry to say, but you are making this more complicated by caving in to all her tears, her texts, calls, pleas, "I love you's."

 

Again, she needs to deal with conseqences from breaking up with you. DN had given you some great advice, if she gives the "I need more time" excuse, then you know where she stands, and that she is out.

 

Hang in there and I still believe NC is the way to go.

[M-life]

Thanks. I will try to take this advice to heart. I think it may be time to start NC again. And I really don't feel bad about it this time, maybe that is a good thing. Let's see what happens.

[crow]

I am going thru a similer experience and I am finding your post interesting. Please keep us up to date and good luck.

[dreamguy]

Mr-Life, stay strong and listen to what others are saying: if you want her back... answer and tell her she has ONE chance at making it work. It's now or never.

 

I am going through a similar experience (like you and crow) and I stopped all contact with me ex last tuesday.

She called me home on Saturday at 10:15pm (I imagine she wanted to check if I was out with another woman on a saturday night). So she left a message saying "hey I just wanted to check on you".

I didn't return her call and I won't do it.

I will keep you posted.

[M-life]

So. I haven't been on here in a few days, and you guys can probably guess why. Satuday I was out with someone, and my ex kept calling and leaving messages. She asked me to come over on Sunday, and I said only if it was pertinant. Well, Sunday afternoon we got together, talked for hours, and we are now officially back together. We both decided that it is what we wanted, and we are both happy with our decision. We made some mistakes, but we realized we couldn't live without each other anymore. We weren't happy apart from each other, and the differences between us were not that big in hindsight. We both know that it may not work out, but we decided we couldn't live without atleast trying again. It is what we both wanted to do. Wish us luck, hopefully everything will work out for us. Thanks for everyone's help, I couldn't have made it through this without you. I will keep coming back from time to time as I have had a great experience here and I really appreciate all the support.

 

PS. We were apart for exactly 32 days, for anyone who is wondering. First time in 5.5 years we have been apart, and hopefully never again.

[TornTattered]

well congradulations M-life! Keep it strong.