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Oh dear, I got a call, what do I do?!? Urgent!!


M-life
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Okay, I was just on here last night talking about being one month into a breakup and 1 week into NC. She just now called me (Friday night). This is the first time she has called me on her own in the one month. I did not answer, and she left a voicemail. She said she thought I was going to call a few days ago and she was wondering if I was okay. She also said she has something to tell me, and to call before 11 (it is now 10) as she is going to bed at that time. Please help me, what do I do? I don't want to screw this up, even if she is just calling to check on me, atleast she called.

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thanks for the quick reply. I especially value advice from females, so I think I will try not to call back. This may be the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

 

Edit: She just called back a second time. Now I have conflicting advice. What now?

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From your post from yesterday:

 

she wants to see what else is out there (says it will only help decide if we are the ones for each other)

 

I think if someone really loved you, they would be sure of it, not needing to test out the waters with other people.

 

She may just be calling to keep you as her back-up plan and on the back burner in case she cannot find someone else.

 

Protect your feelings and your heart.

 

I cannot tell you to choose NC, do at your own discretion, but if you have a bad gut feeling about this, follow your gut is telling you.

 

Hugs, Rose

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Thanks so much rose and everyone. I am not calling back tonight. I put the phone under the bed where I can only reach it with great hassle. My heart is telling me not to pick up, as it can only lead to more hurt at the moment. I value all your advice so much, thanks for being there for me.

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Hey sorry if this creates even more conflict but I kind of agree w/ DN ... If you don't pick up, she's going to keep on calling. Just pick up the next time she calls or call her to see what she so *urgently* needs to talk to you about. If it's *NOT* about getting back together, then you can always implement NC again.

 

Best wishes to you ...

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She called once at 20 minutes ago and left a message. She called back 10 minutes later with no message. Like I said, this is the first time she has contacted me on her own in a month. Thats it so far, 2 calls and one message that said to call her back in the next 45 minutes.

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darn this is a tough decision. i really have absolutly no idea what to do right now. thanks for all the advice guys, i guess i was hoping for an overwhelming majority or something. I have T- 40 minutes and counting. I just don't want to lose all I have gained with 1 week of NC. And the fact that she couldn't stand my voice until I started NC and now she calls me out of the blue twice in 15 minutes. I wish there was a definite answer, but alas, I guess every situation and every person is different.

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M-life, you have to do what you think is right but I don't see why you need to be upset for the next 40 minutes worrying about why she called, if she'll call again, et cetera et cetera ... Just call her, see what she wants, and put the matter to rest if she doesn't want to talk about anything relevant to *YOU*!

Good luck!

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ok, maybe i will call in a few minutes. i am just worried that I will come off as too abrasive and drive her away or too emotional and do the same. I guess I have been both fearing and needing this moment, even if it is somthing stupid like I want to give you back your cds. I am going to call unless I have solid advice otherwise. (Though I know its not good for me, I still think there is a good relationship here. She even said so herself not too long ago. My main goal is to end up back with her, even though I know this is only prolonging the sadness. Yes she hurt me, but she is 20 and I am 24. She is not sure what she wants, and what if she is just confused?)

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Why there is a deadline Rose is because she's going to bed. How "urgent" could it be if she's going to bed??

 

Call her. Maybe she thinks what she has to say is important and if you don't even return her call, she'll think you're a jerk.

 

Don't call her. Let her think you don't need to know what her issues are, you've moved on.

 

The choice is yours.

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I think this is a ploy to get him to call.

 

My ex did that to me, told me he had some really important stuff of mine and needed me to give him my address.

 

He had been to my house many times so I laughed at his ploy.

 

Well, we finally ended up talking recently and ending things on cleaner terms and I confronted him about his ploy and he said he was desperate to talk to me, so he found any excuse possible.

 

Sometimes, exes don't realize what they lost until it's gone, sadly enough.

 

Hugs, Rose

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