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i think i know why he broke up with me!!

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I think that my ex boyfriend's self esteem issues may have been a huge part of our recent breakup. he has always thought he was too fat and always thought that his penis wasnt big enough. he is extremely jealous and most of our fights are because he gets angry if i talk to a guy or go somewhere where there are other guys around. he says its because "i always think you're going to find someone better." that right there shows that he doesnt think very highly of himself. sometimes he also asks me if he looks different than when i first met him. i also noticed that when he grew his hair out a little bit and added highlights, some of his friends both guys and girls told him they didnt like it and he then cut it off and changed it back to his natural color. so many times ive caught him looking in the mirror trying to fix his hair like hes never satisfied with the way it looks. anytime we go to parties or to the bar he loves when he gets attention from his friends, especially girls. its like he craves it. at the beginning of our relationship things went amazing for about the first 4 months because i was a new girl that gave him all kinds of attention, told him i thought he was attractive, called him names like sexy and hott stuff. but as time went on i stopped doing it as frequently, though i still did sometimes. then his ex girlfriend started to text him saying things like he was fat and ugly and i think it really hurt him. he started to change towards me, becoming less affectionate and ignoring me and then 2 weeks later he cheated on me with that same ex that had been saying all those hurtful things.


he immediately came right back to me, begging for me to take him back which i did. he could never give me a reason to why he did it other than because he knew he could do it with her and she was just there and available. that makes me think that he did it because she was saying all those hurtful things to him and he wanted to prove to himself that she didnt mean those things and still was attracted to him because she would sleep with him. then since we've broken up this time ive found out that hes been talking to alot of girls and that hes kissed a few. hes told me that the reasons he doesnt want to get back together is because i have lots of guy friends and it worries him too much, and he just kind of wants to be single for awhile. and why does he want to be single? in my opinion i think its because then he will be getting all kinds of attention from girls and meeting new girls and it will make him feel better about himself. that is just a theory that i have come up with i guess to kind of explain to myself and help me understand why we broke up. does anyone else agree with me or has any one else gone through this with an ex or have actually felt this way themselves where they had low self esteem and felt that they needed more attention from friends or people of the opposite sex to make themselves feel more attractive or wanted? im not saying this is the only reason he broke up with me, but judging from how much we used to love each other, how great things used to be, and how much i did for this guy and gave up for him i think that this has to be the main reason because it wasnt like i was a bad girlfriend or did anything really wrong to cause this.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yikes... Okay, it definitely does sound like his self esteem is lacking.. that's not the only thing though. His character is also something I'd question too.


This is my personal theory, but I believe that insecure people are much more likely to cheat. Why? Because they constantly need validation from others. They need to feel attractive to others because they dont see themselves as attractive. They want to be desired by others because they dont think they are desirable. Etc.


Hopefully you can move on with a clear conscience now? I hope that you are realizing that you CAN do better. His lack of self worth isn't your problem and you can't fix it. I truly hope you don't intend to go back to him because I completely think that he would betray your trust over and over if you did. That's just my gut instinct.

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  • 1 month later...

he not only cheated on me but hes cheated on 2 other girls that i know of. ever since we've broken up hes tried to keep me around until he finds someone else because he cant stand being alone and he loves me chasing him like ive been doing. everyone says he cant stand being alone and he always has a girlfriend. becuase of his low self esteem it makes him feel better about himself. hes almost 22 and he is talking to a 28 year old woman. to me that sounds crazy but i think hes only doing it because it makes him feel so good that an older woman wants him. also, he craves attention from other girls. even when we were together and girls would pay him attention and hang all over him i would be right there in the same room and he wouldnt walk away. he loved it. i would tell him that it bothered me but he still let them hang all over him. and ive only given him an ego boost by chasing him the way i did. i kind of wish i could make him feel as bad as hes made me feel.

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