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Hey buds....has this ever happened to you?!?! <3


Allie.
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Okay...i'm not sure if my wild crazy imagination is coming up with this weird phenomenon because its a very cliche one...but seriously, have you ever had an experience where you're in love with someone so deeply and wholly and then they broke it off and you both went your separate ways...but then after a few months or few years...or even a few weeks..[in my case, it was about after 4 months]..you meet them again and they've turned into complete different people....in my case...jerks, and bums....and so...you actually were/are in love with the person THEY WERE and dislike or even loathe the person they've become?!

 

I mean, is that possible?! I'm sure it is....Don't get me wrong...I'm wayy over this person because he's a complete jerk now...specifically to me....and i've had about 7 months to get over him and i've started dating other people...but I did/do/and will forevermore love the amazing soul he had...but he's just completely changed because he's going out with supposedly one of the most "proffesional and good-looking girls" at work so his ego has become about the size of Houston, Texas...and he's completely changed because he thinks he's the king of the hill now...son of a gun

 

People always randomly just say: "Oh i loved who he was, not who he's become..." and its so cliche and i remember when i heard my more "emotional" friends saying things like that...i used to be the eye-roller...yes...it was me....but I am ACTUALLY experiencing that feeling so I don't know if such a thing exists or maybe...i'm imagining stuff....because the brain, my friends, is a great masterpiece of faulty illusions.

 

You, yes you, precious...tell me whats going on!

 

Always

 

aLLie.

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hhm.....I kinda know what you mean. Mines a little different though, Like one guy I loved to death! but he was just being fake, so I fell in love with the fake him. Also, sometimes they were always jerks but you just didn't see it until you broke up and saw clearly because love is blind.

But I mean....I look back at some of the good traits some boyferiends may have had, but they always had their bad too.....so I dunno....kinda different i guess. But I don't think you're full of it. I believe it's possible

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Yes, kind of like that Yvette [btw, i think we have identical verizon phones] hahaha...anyway, like you fall in love with a different person....

 

the difference though is that....i still love and and will always love the person who he was....i mean, he was perfect for me....but people change....and...yess...

 

thanks though! I guess my brain isnt at its best these days [= hahahah!

 

Anymore ppl with similar experiences?!

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I had that exact experience. My ex and I were in love or so I thought. We had a date set. (A big deal for me cause I am ceremony phobic, the commitment part I can do, ceremony no way). After we broke up the nasty, used butt wipe came out and I saw my ex in a whole new way and I felt totally used and duped. I chalk it up to my ex was youger than me, and we were 19 and 22 when we started dating, by the time we were finished we were 22 and 25. I being older was ready to settle down and at 22 my ex needed to grow up. My ex was more mature when we started dating than at the end.

I am glad to hear you have moved on, more power to you!

LeAnn

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No I dont, but then I have had almost year to get over it. I love the memories that I have, but any love in any regard to the ex, nope.

 

If I use your question on my first love, then yes would be the answer. I will always love him. I will be there for him if he ever needs me. I dont love the person he became after the Marines and life got to him, but I will never stop loving the soul of him that I fell in love with. I wont stop loving the part of him who could make me laugh in the darkest of times, or the part that was always there for me when I needed him the most.

 

so is it normal? I think so, but I also think that the intensity of those feelings of love for who was will fade over time.

 

LeAnn

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hey allie.... I *think* I know what you mean....

 

My first love, (who was the lousy guy I semidated earlier this year), was the sweetest person in the world when we were younger. We were perfect for eachother at that time and that place in our lives. My parents said yes, his dad said no, so we ended up going our separate ways because of it and in the interim I met and married my husband (BAD BAD BAD mistake).

 

He met another girl and what she did to him is sinful. He is an arrogant * * * * * now and also has an ugly mustache. I remet him and saw what I used to see until I got to know who he really was NOW.

 

Not a nice person, but I still love who he was when we were kids.....

 

 

Life goes on Allie. Other loves come along, and time takes away the hurt.... As it did for me and as it will for you too.... Love ya gurl.

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i have had that experience more than once, though technically not with an ex. why i think it happens is this: in stepping back away from someone, we often see more clearly who he or she really is. for the most part, it's not that the people we thought we knew have changed all that radically--we've just had the scales fall from our eyes.

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Hey Allie,

 

maybe he realised after he left you how much you actualy ment to him. You dont know what youve had until you lost it right ?

 

Well maybe he regrets it and it somewhat hurts him seeing you happy with another man so he wants to make you jealous by going out with someone might seem better then you but who really isnt(to him anyway).

 

If i could have a choice between having the most beautiful woman on earth or just simply having an average woman who i know i would be able to love and trust.. i would definitly go with choice #2.

 

Anyway so the reason why i think he is a jerk towards you is because he is hurting from seeing you happy with another man.

This might sound bad but im kind of a jerk towards my ex g/f. I loved her more then anything in the world and she left me because she wanted to have "fun" with other guys and she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore. She talked me every day over msn after we broke up and acted like everything was normal. Then a week later i find out that she is dating my best friends (since kindergarden) brother.

 

This hurt me SO much yet she kept talking to me on msn and talking to me like i was her friend but it was just making me so depressed. I tried to be nice but it just hurt so much and it felt like she was playing with my head so in return i started to be a jerk towards her.. told her things so she would stop talking to me but she still kept talking to me on msn.. So i basically blocked her n deleted her from msn and ever since then i was able to start getting better.

 

Dont get me wrong, not only did i lose the love of my life but i also lost my best friend which is really what gets to me, and i know that there will be no other man that will ever love her as much as i did and i will never love anyone as much as i loved her which what makes me sad.

 

Anyway, im sorry for going abit off topic but i hope you understand my point.

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