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Why isnt he asking me out?


crazy300
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I have a real good friend who likes women but who is also deathly afraid to ask one out. I have analyzed his entire life and I can't come up with a clear explanation as to why he won't just ask a woman, any woman, out for a date. Plenty of women have even given their phone numbers to him. This guy you like may or may not be similar to my buddy, whose fears overcome him.

 

If this is the case then you'll need to either suggest you two hang out on a Friday night OR bust a move on him. Someone here needs to break the ice and if it's not going to be him then it should be you. He might even feel relieved once you kiss him and loosen up a bit.

 

Good luck.

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He knows i like him now. I havent told him, but anybody with half a brain would know. And i can tell that hes figured it out. Hes liked me since last year, but is incredibly nervous- ONLY with me. Otherwise, hes super outgoing.

 

 

Nowadays, He keeps trying to talk to me, and he loves standing near me even if we arent talking im encouraging him a lot.

Yesterday he was walking past me, he turned backwards towards me, looked at my face and smiled widely(kinda naughty smile)...for no reason....i was like Ok! hes flirting.

 

Its really awkward, and we're both grinning and laughing too much around each other..Im hoping he'll do something.....coz i cant muster the courage to.

 

But will he? Wudnt he have already if he was interested? He seems to be flirting a lot more, but it isnt going anywhere.

 

Opinions?

 

It's easy from here on in - continue to be friendly and approachable but emotionally -keep yourself protected by having the mindset that unless and until he asks you out he is off your radar - there is nothing between you. Make sure you are distracted with friends, interests, activities and if it happens - other guys. If he is sincerely interested in a relationship he will ask you out on a proper date in advance. Could be he just likes the attention he gets from you, likes knowing he is desired but for whatever reason isn't interested in taking it any further - which is his perogative. However, if you find yourself getting attached from the flirting, now that he knows you like him, just spend less time around him so that if he wants more time with you he has to ask you out on a date.

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I have a real good friend who likes women but who is also deathly afraid to ask one out. I have analyzed his entire life and I can't come up with a clear explanation as to why he won't just ask a woman, any woman, out for a date. Plenty of women have even given their phone numbers to him. This guy you like may or may not be similar to my buddy, whose fears overcome him.

 

If this is the case then you'll need to either suggest you two hang out on a Friday night OR bust a move on him. Someone here needs to break the ice and if it's not going to be him then it should be you. He might even feel relieved once you kiss him and loosen up a bit.

 

Good luck.

 

If the guy in question is anything like your friend it sounds like he is not available, emotionally, for a relationship. If he chooses to let the fears take priority over asking a woman out - even women who are aggressive, then how is he going to handle actually dating a woman and spending time with her? Those fears won't just poof disappear after a first date.

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Ok, so he has liked you for a year...and what were you doing during that time? Did you have a bf or push him away earlier?

Maybe he is watching to see if you are not just being fickle. You know, if you actually like him or only crave attention right now.

 

Have patience. Some guys take longer than others. And I don't see a problem with asking him for a date either.

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For some guys like myself, we need the ultimate assurance that we are not going to be shot down like Don Cheney's hunting partner. Like if you wore a t-shirt that read, "Ask me out and I WILL say yes!", then maybe we'll get the hint. You said "anyone with half a brain." Well unfortunately, shy guys have no brains when it comes to this for some reason. I do not know what it is. For me, I need to know she feels the same way because clues are not enough. Those clues, believe it or not, are often the same as misinterpreted clues, which makes us think it's all in my head.

 

Trust me, I liked this girl and she was giving me the same clues my best's girlfriend was giving him before he asked her out. So I was giddy until I found out she was 'just a flirty gal' who liked my sense of humor, nothing more.

 

Good luck to you though.

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"It's easy from here on in - continue to be friendly and approachable but emotionally -keep yourself protected by having the mindset that unless and until he asks you out he is off your radar - there is nothing between you."

 

No, thats not a good idea. If he is too shy to ask you out, he probably won't. Whatever you have will likely whither away into nothing. Please just make a move.

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"It's easy from here on in - continue to be friendly and approachable but emotionally -keep yourself protected by having the mindset that unless and until he asks you out he is off your radar - there is nothing between you."

 

No, thats not a good idea. If he is too shy to ask you out, he probably won't. Whatever you have will likely whither away into nothing. Please just make a move.

 

That hasn't been my experience but I think there is a middle ground here. Mention a movie you've been wanting to see, mention something you like to do like ice skate and/or ask him to lunch during the day or to have coffee or to a museum exhibit you're interested in - something non-threatening that will meet him halfway. However, be sure before you do this that you are ok with being the main initiator going forward - don't assume that just because you break the ice and ask for date one, he is going to step up to the plate and ask for date two and subsequent dates. Are you comfortable with chalking this up to "too shy" or is there a part of you that will be too insecure as in "if he really liked me, he would at least get up the nerve to ask me to have coffee or lunch."

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Ask him out.

 

Exactly! It would be great if the ladies would ask men out more. Especially in cases like this, you are wasting time waiting for him to ask. If you ask, you very well may be spending time with him alone a week from now. It doesn't have to be anything big either, a concert, a cup of coffee, a walk in the park, etc. Go for it and good luck!

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