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having the jitters


MissJBug
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ok...ive been with my boyfriend for 5 and some years now.... love him to death... i just turned 21 and ppl tell me that thats why i might be feeling this way...but im going to get a job soon...and hes has a job and is suppose to get fulltime on it soon...so hes thinking about us moving in together....

 

thats a big step...sometimes i want to be single because i want to see what else is out there... but than when i am (when i break up with him)... i always wonder what hes doing and the weirdest part... i dont even look for guys or anything...all i want to do is call my man... so maybe everyone feels this way... maybe im not the only one...

 

i want a house...i want a real nice house... its so hard when he works all the time 2 part time jobs...i never get to see him... if we live together we will see eachother...and if i work...i wont be so ANNOYING about seeing him because Ill be working to....

 

sometimes i just think...what if heeeeee gets sick of seeing me every morning.... he already when we first went out...went out and figured out what the single life wasnt for him.... i didnt get to do that...and to be honest... i really dont want to... i just dont want to be THE ONLY IDIOT that doesnt see my boyfriend running around on me...

 

I know he doesnt...but like... what if he does... what if after a while he gets sick of me.... what if i get sick of him? what if we are MISERABLE....what if were happy...what if its great? i dont know....

 

i know i cant worry about the future....hes such a great guy...sometimes he doesnt listen...sometimes i wanna rip his head off...sometimes i want to GIDGE HIS EYES OUT...haha

 

but i love him...and i could see myself for the rest of my life with him, but when i think that way...and think of him thinking of me that way...he says he wants to be with me forever...but like...what if things change....

 

can a man really wake up to one girl for the rest of his life...and be satisfied with that...

 

i change my hair color all the time...not just for him, but for a change for myself...i think change is good sometimes..

 

ive never had an orgasm before...even with anyone else.... it never really actually felt as good as everyone says.... but recently.... ive felt it more and more little by little everytime....

 

 

is that possible? everytime to have sex with ur lover to start to feel it everytime a little betteR? or am i full of * * * *? would i just BUST OUT and have an orgasm if it felt better...

 

someone... im 21...im so confused... were in love...i know we are.... but i am just cluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueless!

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I don't wish to sound rude but your post seems full of mixed messages. However, I think I get the general idea of it. Moving to the next level of a relationship carries risk but then so does being stuck in the same place for a long time. Without knowing you and your partner well enough, I can't tell you what to do. My instinct tells me that the one thing you can't do is stay still. If you don't move in the realtionship will probably sour and if you do there's a greater risk of being hurt further down the line.

 

I can honestly tell you that we've had to honour the "worse", "poorer" and "sickness" parts of our wedding vows. Can you still respect him if he loses his job and you lose the house? Will he be an active parent? These questions are the type you need to think about.

 

Good luck.

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maybe you should try living together in a "temporary" situation, like renting an apartment, before you try to get a house. a lot of couples do it, and it is less binding (usually leases are for six months or a year, while mortgages are 15 to 30 years!) so if you are still feeling jittery after a short time, you can call it quits without having your lives ties together as if you were married.

 

just a thought.

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