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Where should I go from here? 1 month into breakup with GF


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So my girlfriend of 5 years (highschool sweethearts and first loves) suddenly decides she wants to see what else is out there (says it will only help decide if we are the ones for each other). This completely blindsided me and left me devastated. I did the normal stupid things the first two weeks, (calling, begging, pleading) which only drove her away. I am over this now and have started no contact, and am seeing very miniscule results (she called me, said she hopes we get back together someday.) I don't want to screw this up, so where do I go from here? Do I call her once a week, do I not call at all? Do I ignore her calls, or answer and just be a good friend? Should I tell her I miss her, or pretend like I don't care? I really have no idea what to do at this point. It seems like most advice I read tells me not to contact her, but it does not say where to go from here. Hold the course, or change something? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

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I'm not the best person to give advice on this, since my ex and I are still not back together , but...I personally don't agree with the argument she gave you of the breakup helping to decide if you are the ones for each other.

 

That said, however, I would not recommend calling. I think it's okay to pick up every once in a while when she calls (not every time though!), but make the conversations brief, end it on your terms, not hers (meaning, don't wait for her to say goodbye, be the one to tell her that you have to go do X or Y). Speaking from experience, if conversations are too long, they tend to become melodramatic -- I, for one, start crying, and that doesn't exactly inspire the other person to continue talking. So end on a happy note.

 

However, if your ultimate goal is to get over her and move on...then yes. Strict no contact. Keeping in touch hurts, especially if they are out there looking for other people. If you're planning to cut her out of your life completely, there's nothing wrong with pretending like you don't care and ignoring her -- after all, you'll never have to see her again if you don't want to.

 

Hang in there!

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Dont let her know you like/miss her...EVER

And dont be her friend (that sucks)

Let her do the chasing now. And dont take her back first go - say no, and then ask her out again in a few days (doesnt sound like it will make sense, but just try it - I made the mistake of not doing it)

 

You know you stuffed up in the beginning, but just dont give up yet. If the NC helps her come back then great, but if it doesnt, then NC will also help you get over her.

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Dont let her know you like/miss her...EVER

And dont be her friend (that sucks)

Let her do the chasing now. And dont take her back first go - say no, and then ask her out again in a few days (doesnt sound like it will make sense, but just try it - I made the mistake of not doing it)

 

You know you stuffed up in the beginning, but just dont give up yet. If the NC helps her come back then great, but if it doesnt, then NC will also help you get over her.

 

Cant agree anymore. Also when you get a chance read this:

 

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I agree dont talk to her at all. Your gonna have to wait until she talks to you. Dont accept anything short of I WANT TO BE WITH YOU AGAIN. Anything else is her being lonely and using you as a friend.

 

I know its very tough, NC is so so hard, but the more days you accumulate the easier it gets. Good Luck to you.

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Thanks for all the advice. I am going to hide my phone under the bed so I am not tempted to call. It has been 4 days now since last contact, and it is getting easier everyday, but there are times I feel like I want to call just to say hi. I have to occupy my mind with something else to not call her, but hopefully it will get easier as time goes on. After all this, I am pretty sure I will take her back if she wants to come back, but who knows how I will feel when and if that time actually comes?

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