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I honestly don't get it... I've accepted myself as gay at this point, but I am not out to anybody... not at this point...

 

Lately, I have been literally DIEING to find a guy that is maybe gay or bi but not out... I was all over this one Ricky kid as some of you probably remember from previous posts, but really I got sick of him, sick of wasting time "hoping" that he was gay, I've moved on...

 

There's this other really hot guy now, that I've been beginning to know, the only weird thing is, I'm a senior he's a freshman, but I guess he failed a year and shoulda been a sophomore... anyways...

 

I first met him through my gym class then this past weekend I found his MySpace and asked for his SN and everything and we talk online... and I wanted to hang out Sun with another kid and him but it never happened finally we did on Mon. we went to the mall.. Ever since then he's been very like talking to me and stuff which i like... but I have no freakin clue if he's even gay or bi he could very well be straight becuase he tends to talk about how hot his volleyball girl coach is and this other girl is I guess so that always throws me off... and I don't know why but it depresses me when he says that, I get this feeling that I'll find no one, he's so hot and we've been talkin A LOT but idk we really havent had any one on one talk ive always been with other friends... idk what to do... i feel like i'll never find another guy that would care for me the way i would care for him and I still can never picture myself or my family accepting that to happen even though my feelings/heart really truly want that to be happy its just so confusing right now

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I'm sorry you're feeling down. It's hard finding that special someone REGARDLESS of your sexual orientation. My advice to you is keep your eyes and options open. You'll eventually find the one you're looking for and once you do and become more comfortable with your sexual identity, you'll be comfortable in letting others know as well. Give it time. Perhaps this guy you're hanging out with just sees you as a good fun guy to hang out with - a buddy. That's great! You must be a pretty cool guy to have all of these friends. Don't lose hope and eventually you will get exactly what you're looking for.

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