Workplace relationships

[New_Horizons]

How many of you met your SO or spouse in the workplace?

 

I'm going to graduate from university soon and I'm still single. If workplace dating is taboo, it pretty much means I've 'missed the bus' for life right? Seems like high school and college/uni are the only two places to meet women. Are there any other decent places to meet women, barring bars and totally random love-at-first-sight-in-grocery-store events? Decent as in decent women *and* a decent chance of success.

[shes2smart]

Get involved in some activities/hobbies outside of work.

 

Take some adult ed classes through your local public schools -- cooking, personal finance, basic auto maintenance...whatever. While there may not be single women you're interested in, you may strike up friendships with those in the class...and they may well have single sisters, friends, co-workers, daughters, nieces, etc.

 

Volunteer...there are a ton of charitable organizations who would love to have your help...and who also have a lot of other volunteers/employees. Again, even if none of them are single women you're interested in, they may have single female friends, cousins, neighbors, etc.

 

Get involved in an activity/sport -- bowling league, adult softball/baseball/volleyball, pool league, soccer, etc. See above about "even if there are no single women..."

 

There's more to life than just working. What do you like to do? What are you interested in? What are your hobbies? Between purusing those and letting everyone you know you're single & looking, you're bound to come up with at least few dates.

 

Those are all "old school" methods...there's also online dating/chat/personals sites...or you could go with the local paper (either newspaper or entertainment paper) personal ads.

 

I graduated from college in 1986...didn't meet my husband til 2001. In the intervening years, I had a lot of dates and a few relationships. So, just because you didn't meet someone in school doesn't mean you've "missed the bus."

[New_Horizons]

What do you like to do? What are you interested in? What are your hobbies? Between purusing those and letting everyone you know you're single & looking, you're bound to come up with at least few dates.

 

 

Mmmm...that set me thinking. I don't have any hobbies to speak of. I used to be into some in my late teens but I've lost interest and/or energy. I've just stopped caring. I used to like gardening (can't do that while living in a bachelor's apartment) and travel. I don't like travelling now since it makes me feel lonelier, and I always feel on edge dining alone, or going anywhere alone. Not afraid, just uncomfortable and out of place. I don't have any friends who would agree to travel with me. I used to like reading but not anymore.

I like board and card games but the only people I regularly link up with are a bunch of guys 20 yrs older than me. How lame is that?

 

I guess I've fallen into the rut of comfortable boredom. All I do is eat, sleep, surf enotalone and go to class. I used to be a really good student but now I have a hard time getting motivated. I mean, what's the damn point?

[justpaisley]

Can you ask some of your friends to set you up with someone your age?

[Batya33]

About 10 of my friends got married or engaged within the last year or so - all but one late 30's and one early 30s. They met their spouses: on eharmony, through a religious activity, a neighbor, at a July 4 party, on link removed, playing in a tennis league, etc. I met my SO originally at work, 12 years ago. We dated back then for awhile then reconnected about a year ago. I met my other SOs after college through a personal ad, at a club (he was a cousin of a friend), through introductions by a friend (three of them). I have met friends since college through volunteer work, a women's networking group, work, while away on vacation, through message boards, through other friends. And, there's always graduate school.

[jezille]

How many of you met your SO or spouse in the workplace?

 

I'm going to graduate from university soon and I'm still single. If workplace dating is taboo, it pretty much means I've 'missed the bus' for life right? Seems like high school and college/uni are the only two places to meet women. Are there any other decent places to meet women, barring bars and totally random love-at-first-sight-in-grocery-store events? Decent as in decent women *and* a decent chance of success.

 

Rubbish, workplace dating can backfire at you. Dont do it. That is NOT the only place you can meet your SO. Dont you all have friends, best place to meet people are thru other friends and someone at church, or thru business contacts, at cocktail parties, weddings, christenings etc. Workplace NOPE run fast.

[shes2smart]

Rubbish, workplace dating can backfire at you.

 

Hence the saying, "Don't get your honey where you get your money."

 

I guess I've fallen into the rut of comfortable boredom. All I do is eat, sleep, surf enotalone and go to class. I used to be a really good student but now I have a hard time getting motivated. I mean, what's the damn point?

 

The point is whatever you decide it is. That's something we all have to figure out for ourselves. No one's going to come along and give you your reason for being here or goals to pursue or even things to do in your free time. Your questions remind me of something I read in one of Peter McWilliams books. He was of the opinion that there are folks who get into relationships or are looking for relationships not because they wanted to be in a relationship necessarily, but more because they were looking for someone to entertain or distract them so they wouldn't have to deal with themselves.

 

Bored with things as they are? That's a sure sign it's time to try something different. Doesn't matter what, as long as its something you have even a passing interest in, that'll work.

 

Example: After one break-up, I was going stir crazy sitting in my apartment. I like horses, but at that point, I'd never been to a race track. I decided to go to a harness racing track that was in town. I thought maybe just going to look at some horses might make me feel less miserable. Had no idea what I looking at or what was going on, but it got me out of the house. I knew people were betting and winning money, and I wanted to figure out how they were doing that. So, a few days later, I went to the library and checked out a few books on harness racing and harness race handicapping.

 

Long story short, I started going to the track trying to figure out how the sport worked and how the betting work. After about a year of that, I had managed to meet the track announcer and the track's marketing director who was married to one of the drivers. I ended up working for the track part-time for a season showing customers how to read the program and how to wager, and I ended up owning and racing several horses of my own over the course of the next 10 years.

 

While I didn't meet an SO through all this (I did have an unrequited crush or two on guys I met back in the barns, but they were generally guys who had some serious alcohol issues, so it's just as well nothing developed), I did make a number of friends and had an enjoyable (and occaisionally lucrative) hobby that was unlike anything I'd done prior to deciding to go to the track to distract myself from a break-up.

[MollyElise]

Since you like gardening look for a community gardening center, I know we have lots around here. Usually for a nominal fee you can get a plot of land to grow in, it also creates a social environment and that seems like a great place for you to meet a nice lady.