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Out of Sorts with Conversations


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If im honest i haven't been on date with a girl, i haven't had a girlfriend and im 22 and because of this i do feel like i am undesirable. Im not bad looking but my problem is not knowning when to iniate anything, when it comes to girls and love im just clueless


Im everyone's friend, i'd say that i know more girls than guys, which doesn't bother me the last 2 years at college i had spent with only girls and being the only guy it was kind of annoying. Girls tend to see me only suitable as a friend. I'm just at a loss of what to do, there are 2 girls who joined the course beginning of the week and although i have spoken too them a little bit, but i don't know how too really engage them in conversation or get them interested in anyway.


Myself and 2 other friends are meeting up on Saturday to spend the day together which means the entire of my course which consists of only 8 students. Ideally this would probably be a good time to get to know them but im probably gonna end up not saying anything interesting. I would like to be more interesting but i don't know how? i mean i have no real hobbies because i don't have the money, i finally got a part-time job but i gotta work a month in advance before i get any sorta money. I just feel a very dull person and can't understand what any girl would see in me, i mean they don't seem that interested in me. Again it's probably my negativity but im just really out of sorts of what to do. I am a novice and probably will for a long time yet, that's how i feel when im around them and when im by myself.


Can anyone please offer some advice?

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Well, if you have a positive outlook, you will have a positive outcome.


So first of all, you need to work on your self-image, make sure that you are comfortable in your own shoes.


Go have fun on Saturday, and try to not give off "friend-zone" vibes.


What I mean by this, is lean into the woman when you talk, smile, lightly tap their shoulder, and that will show interest.


You need to give cues so that a woman knows you are interested.


Hugs, Rose

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Thanks, but im still none the wiser, i could do with someone behind me there prodding me with a stick to do things but yeah, im not bothered about how i look it's just girls that i like don't seem to take any notice of me and to be honest i don't know what too do and i feel unattractive because of that.


See if i lean in when talking to them and tapping them on the shoulder i don't really know that could do that, if a gilrl did that too me i'd probably be offended by the leaning in part lol but that's just me... i sometimes wonder if im too old-fashioned


As for not noticing singals how would i give cues, im as simple as they come when it comes to girls and how to get them. No girl has found me to nothing more than a good friend and it does make me sick, i just wish i was more confident or that i could at least meet someone who could be my ideal person and i doubt i'd get either. I know that i can be quite negative in most things but then again i have no posative outcome from anything related to girls then why should i feel it if you know what i mean.

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You've been just a friend because these girls see you as the "safe guy" and someone who will tag along and do what they want. I'm not suggesting that if they tell you to jump off of a bridge that you will do it, but if they need a ride you'll probably drop what you are doing and go get them. If they need a shoulder to cry on you're probably a willing therapist. If they want to hang out, you'll do it. While girls like having friends like this (who wouldnt) this is not a way to generate attraction. You're likely far too selfless.


Another problem I see is that you don't have confidence in your personality. Girls pick up on this stuff. You asked earlier how you can get girls interested. If you are trying to behave certain ways to get them interested, they pick up on the fact that you don't have confidence.


Want to know how to talk to girls? It's very simple. Make it fun. DO NOT BE SERIOUS. Being serious is too much drama. It's boring.


"How is the weather? Do you like this class? What do you do for fun? Volleyball? That's a fun game."




You want to be more of a challenge, more exciting, more of a fun conversationalist. How do you do that? Teasing! If she asks you your age, LIE! If you are 22 tell her you are 32, see how long you can push that lie. If she asks what your major is, tell you you are studying to be a brain scientist, or a rocket surgeon and see if she believes you or picks up on "rocket SURGEON". If she doesn't fall for it then laugh it off and tell her that she's quicker than she looks. TEASE! Never make anything easy on her.


If she asks your name, tell her that most people look like their name and that she should guess yours. When she makeas a few guesses tell her your name is Lance. That is far more of a fun conversation than simple straight answers. Teasing is fun!


Another tip is get to the point. Don't talk to these girls day after day without asking them on a date. Get to the point. After the first or second conversation, ask them if they would like to meet you before class over a cup of coffee.


Read the link in my signiture for more tips.

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