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After not speaking with my ex for years, he wrote to me anonymously on a site like this one (not this one). He asked me a number of questions that in retrospect were all about guilt that he had over the way he treated me, and trying to find out what my motives were for things I'd done...basically, it feels like he was testing me to see if he'd done the right thing in leaving me. I had amnesia at the time (don't ask), and wasn't able to tell it was him from what he was writing.

 

This happened awhile ago. I didn't know it was him until the amnesia lifted, just recently. Now that I know it was, can someone tell me, what on earth would possess someone to do something like that? Why would he hide his identity? Is it a control issue? Was he trying to be subtle? Was he playing games; was it supposed to be clever or cute? Why wouldn't he just talk to me?

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How did he know it was you? Did you have your name or picture on there? Maybe he felt weird because it had been years and you two have not spoken. My guess is that he is having a rough time right now and is thinking back fondly of the time he spent with you. Do you still have any feelings for him?

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Thank you for the response. Yes, when I originally went online, I used my real name. People used to do that.

 

The form of amnesia I have is called "dissociative amnesia." My childhood was quite difficult in some respects, and I learned to protect myself by being able to "turn off" certain memories and information in my mind. Kind of like having emotional breaker switches; when I get overloaded with pain, they flip, and I just don't know that information anymore. Now, how much pain are we in when the person we love doesn't want us??

 

Enough, yes.

 

I'm sure when I've had time to think about the memories longer, what he did will make some sort of sense to me. I believe I do have all the memories back; it's the emotions that are all over the place. It's stuff I don't want to face because it hurts too much; I don't intentionally forget, it just happens.

 

But thanks for answering. Do I still have feelings for him? Of course.

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