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My older female neighbor...


willy_will
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Hi, I thank you for reading my post in advance Here goes...

 

Me: 27 year old, male. Semi-successful, operate my own company on top of working for a large IT firm as part of the group lead. I'm highly attracted to women in charge and power.

 

Her: School teacher, attractive and just what I'm looking for. Has a charming personality and from what I'm able to tell she might be about 10 years older than I am.

 

So... I met her once when I had just bought my place, talked for a few and went our way, I liked her then because of her personality but didn't act on it. Two weeks ago, nearly 3 months later I met her roommate and he asked if I was interested in her. Evidently she thinks, "I'm cute" and had asked him if he knew I had a g/f. I naturally ceased the opportunity and let him know that I was interested so he arranged a visit to my place (gave them the tour), he left and she stayed behind to talk. 3 hours later I find out that I actually like to get to know her and I find a lot in common and that rarely happens.

 

I offered to take her to coffee; instead she said "how about dinner" so I agreed. The only problem, the clash of schedules didn't allow it to happen and hasn't happened a week later (now). Well we tried once but she couldn't make it so she gave me the "Let's play it by the ear" spiel. To me that is a sign of:

 

1. She's not sure about dating someone next door?

2. She's scared?

3. Second thought?

 

I've not called her or seen her since. Seeing how she's a neighbor I don't want to intrude, ring her doorbell or cross any type of boundaries making it awkward. But I still would like to get to know her and I'm really interested in striking a friendship before anything romantic. I'm a patient person (you can tell by my other post). I want to get the general census and see if I should call her and invite her over to "continue our conversation"... thoughts?

 

PS. I can take constructive criticism so please if you do reply make it profound so I have something to think about

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Hi there. I'd say that the best thing to do is forget about her age and location and just treat this like you would any other date.

 

Since it's only been a week since your plans feel through, I think it would be perfectly ok for you to give her a call and ask if her schedule has gotten "any better" and if she'd like to meet up.

 

If she says no or she can't make it again, then I think it's ok to drop it then.

 

BellaDonna

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Well the right way to handle your doubts in if sh's interested in you or not would be to get on the case. Call her up or go over and visit, try and set something else up. Don't handle the situation tepid like this, this tells her that you're not interested in her by communicating to her that you have doubts.

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  • 5 weeks later...

I would figure out a way to run into her,she may be having reservations about the age gap and that's why she is a bit sketchy with her plans.

 

She did say dinner instead of coffee which seems very postive and also the roomate quizzing you meaning she's obviously talked about you. I would not call her but figure out a way to run into her,perhaps speak to her roomate about it.

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I would figure out a way to run into her,she may be having reservations about the age gap and that's why she is a bit sketchy with her plans.

 

She did say dinner instead of coffee which seems very postive and also the roomate quizzing you meaning she's obviously talked about you. I would not call her but figure out a way to run into her,perhaps speak to her roomate about it.

 

Yeah, I probably blew my chances I did run into her but I just didn't act on it. Oh well...

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you've gotta be kidding - she has organised her room mate to set up a meeting with you, she wants to go out to dinner when you suggest coffee, of course she wants to see you - worried about ringing on the doorbell? OMG, she'd probably be happy if you hurled yourself thru the front window lol - be a little assertive here, she's probably been waiting for you to call or come around to say hi - i understand how it can be when work schedules clash, i work nights, but you gotta let her know you're still interested, even if the dinner doesn't happen straight away - the only way you're not going out with this woman is if you've already left it too long, and if you show up on the doorstep with a nice bottle of wine she will probably even forgive you for that. That is, i mean, if she does dig you, if she doesn't this whole post is kinda moot, isn't it? (don't worry, she's into you)

 

good luck,man,let us know how it works out

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  • 4 weeks later...

Thanks for your input! Ultimately the problem was with me (I'm sure you could tell) and seeing how I had exited a 6.5-year relationship no too long ago I carried a certain amount of baggage there. So I was a little hesitant and distracted. When you add those two to the mix, signals aren't very clear Needless to say, my confidence was shaky a bit. And not to mention 6 years of being with the same person had made me oblivious on a lot of things.

 

I guess I developed a mechanism not to blow up this opportunity and I'm glad I didn't act on it right away! I recently approached her again and we're spending a good amount of time together. So things worked out just as I wanted them to. I just had to get the ducks in a row...

 

I felt this was a good thing, but I had to clear my mind to really before I could allow myself to get involved with her.

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