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Well after 6months of being broken up me and my girl got back together, a big part to NC, it wasnt until I gave up in getting back together that it happened (crazy i know). But she was moving and quit her job to live with her family in the big city. We had a great time not only in those two weeks but the month that followed talking and making plans. not all of it was great, we shared alot of what we did apart and who we were with but we stuck through that. After planning a trip to see her in October she started to be noticably different again, I mean this distance isnt just a temporary thing, she will be going to Ontario anywhere from 2months to 6months from now for atleast a year, and I will be leaving around the end of that time for my training, but It didnt matter to me, or her I thought but turns out It does. we ended up talking about it and she told me her concerns and I said I had the same but I knew I was strong enough, she doesnt think she is, but she doesnt know, she sent me this email after..

 

PS: You may not agree with me 100% but this is how I feel we need to work on the NOW of us before we can think of the FUTURE us.[/i]

 

so once again I'd like to hear some thoughts from this board, its helped me in the past and I look forward to hearing again. Were not talking about this until I'm there in person again and I know what this could mean all over again.

 

thanks.

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Your gf's email gave me chills - it sounded so much like something my ex would have written. In some ways, it was a similiar situation. The only thing worse than having something and losing it is having something, losing it, getting it back and then losing it again!

 

I know. I've been there. It's like regret x2.

 

And you wonder what all the hard work was for. The thing is, all the same "rules" apply, and you can't control someone else's behaviour. It sounds like she needs to do some work on herself and if I were you, I'd be the one to let her go rather than wait for her to pull the plug.

 

You know the old Sting song? If you love somebody, set the free ...

 

It sucks, I know.

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First, you need to respect her honesty. She very well may have some things to work on and while that may seem selfish in one sense it's very selfless in another. I think you need to accept that the current state of your relationship is unstable and you being strong is not enough for the two of you. Take control and let her know that you understand how she feels and you feel that it is unfair to try to make things work right now. LDR's are hard enough when both people are solid in terms of the relationship but in your case, it's a struggle which may not be worth it anyways.

 

RC

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ya i dont know how to feel part of thinks its a joke, and i get angry about it, while another part is like how I felt before, turn my love into selfless love yet again and just wish her the best. I just didnt want to be in this position so soon, dominating my thoughts god! she opened up so much...ah..yes it sucks im going to have to wait a week before seeing her in person. I dont know whats going to happen but it sucks being back in the position, everyone warned me against it, I feel like such a fool.

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