Strange.

[Dindi]

Well, here it goes. I tried to define the feelings that I have in the most truthful way to myself. And it sounds very unhealthy to me. Is it the fear of relationship or the fear of something I can't even think of? In my other post I wrote about the guy I like and everything and basically I want a relationship and somebody to care for me and to care for. Now, when I get to the point where I have two paths: one - the step towards the relationship, and two - the step away from it, I always choose the second path. First I thought that I'm not ready for the relationship, but if I want one that means that I am ready. now I don't even know what to think. I feel like I'm doing something wrong when I'm about to take the "relationship step". Maybe it's not the right person who I want the relationship with??

I always had some crushes on someone, but I never felt that it was vital for me to have the real relationship. I was satisfied the way I am.

Secondly, I suppose that I want the relationship to begin to explore the sexual part of it (I don't mean sex). I don't want the guy to be deeply attached to me, and me to him. However I want the relationship to be filled with emotions and love, and exploration of the abilities, and the ability to discover new things (not only sexually). To explore the life in relationship is absolutely different than to explore it by yourself.

But as soon as I see somebody I'm attracted to, I don't feel that I can be in the relationship. It's so strange to me. I'd appreciate thoughts on this.

 

 

Dindi.

[Relationship Coach]

Fear of commitment is what I am hearing from all of this. You want all of the trappings of a real relationship but you can't stay focused on one person. Exploring the sexual part of a relationship and enjoying the passion, emotions and pleasures are all a wonderful thing but you have to be ready to settle down mentally and I question whether you are or not. You are putting up a wall for your own protection and sooner or later you are going to have to take it down and let someone in.

 

RC

[Dindi]

I was afraid of that. I actually agree with you that I eventually I will take down the wall, but I'd rather make it gradually. Thank you for your answer, I'll work on that.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

It's quite simple really - when you're ready, you'll be in a relationship.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Isn't always about whether it is something you should do or not do??

 

Everything has it's pros and cons. It's just a matter or shich outweighs which, yeh?