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Can anyone tell me what kind of person he is???....


Blue Lady
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Hi, am afraid I need your advice here...

I am dating a guy recently. On the first month he was so warm & caring. He always checked in (through either phone or text) everyday & anywhere he was. He spent his weekends with me & he asked me to go to several events/parties & met his friends & colleagues. It was great & I did enjoy our dates...

 

The second month, it was totally different... He almost never called or text me but he often apologized to me with the reason that he is fully occupied with his works (we are working in the same office & I know that his nature of work is so hectic so I understand). thereforeeee we never spent times together again over the weekend for a few weeks now.

 

Last week, he emailed me to ask whether I want to meet for coffee & do some shopping together over the weekend & I said am ok with that. On Saturday he said he is working so he saved our date for Sunday. Then on Sunday I haven't heard anything from him until afternoon so I text him to ask whether the date is still on. He replied me that he is hung over & needs to get back to work again so he cancelled it (& changed it for lunch next week).

 

On Monday at the office I accidentally heard from some colleagues that they met my date at the swimming pool whole day with his friends/colleagues on Sunday (he was at the pool when he replied my text!). After working hour I told him what I heard & asked him why he didn't tell me the truth (that he cancelled our date just because he wanted to spend his day with his friends at the pool instead of hung over & busy). I was disappointed with his reaction... He kept insisting that in fact he was hung over & working for part of the day. The most annoying answer is... he actually didn't want to meet for coffee in town!

 

I am confused... in fact, he was the one who asked me for coffee over the weekend but then he said that he didn't want to meet for coffee on Sunday???????........... This sounded I was the one who is clingy & asking him to meet for coffee!

 

Can anyone tell me what kind of person he is???...

 

I haven't reacted anything to his 'rude' answer because am still very upset & disappointed at him so I don't want to take wrong decision! & I plan to keep silence until he calls/text me first.

 

Can anybody advice me what should I do to react if he calls again?... If he asks me out again, should I refuse or accept?... Should I give him a chance or just leave him alone?...

 

Thanks!

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Move on...you gave him plenty of chances. Any guy whom was into you, would make darn sure to keep his dates. Even if something did come up, he would keep his word for the next time. He keeps breaking dates with lame excuses. It is not a question of the kind of person he is, it is a matter of him not being into you.

 

Sorry my post is not encouraging but there are plenty of other men whom would love to be with you, go out and find him....he's waiting for you!

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Hmmm....does this happen frequently? If so, I would move on. If he's interested, he needs to show it in his actions. I say, if a guy is really interested in you he wouldn't have any problem meeting you for a date, even if he was hung over. To me, that's not a good enough reason.

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ditto to what kellbell said!!

 

if the attention is over after 1 month and he is already being rude and taking you for granted, why stay? it's just going downhill. i'd say that this relationship is on its way out.

 

you definitely deserve better. are your needs really being met in this relationship? doubtful.

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Thanks for all the advices!!! It is very helpful...

 

FYI - The guy I'm dating with is a workaholic & we have been into that situation (he cancelled the date) twice within 2 months & both occasions looked like I was the one who is clingy/needy but the fact is he was the one who setup date but then when I asked whether the date is still on then he would suddenly cancel it!

 

Strange, isn't it???...

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"The guy I'm dating with is a workaholic..."

 

It should not matter, if he cared enough he would make the effort. You were not on his mind when he was getting drunk, when he was swimming with friends and doing other things. If you were, he would have invited you along. But nope, he did not and blew you off.

 

Next time he calls, I would say something like, "Sorry I don't have time for this nonsense. Thanks but no thanks." Then hang up and ignore him after.

 

Sorry but life is too short. Hang in there.

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ditto to what kellbell said, you don't have time for this nonsense.

 

is this who you have always dreamed of meeting? a man that asks you out one day, then ditches to you to drink with his friends by the pool? and then makes it seem like you are needy/clingy?

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Your advices & tips are helpful indeed to encourage me to take the decision. He came to my office (room) several times today to talk to my colleagues in my unit but I'm trying to ignore him as much as I can (we are completely strangers now). We have not talked to each other until now & I decide to keep it this way (I was just wondering whether he feels guilty at the moment...).

 

I just heard from his buddy that he went home early from the office today because finally he is really wiped out (exhausted... working too much...). I am afraid he does not have enough energy & effort to maintain our relationship at the moment & it's painful to me so I think I have to leave him alone now! I guess I just move on & I don't need to say anything to him about my decision, don't I?...

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He is exactly the kind of person who likes to chase, chase, chase, and thereforeeee he most definitely is a waste, waste, waste of your time.

 

This guy sucks, drop him like a bad habit and when he comes running back, hit his inflated egotistical self with a cold slap of indifference.

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If he was such a workaholic he wouldn't have had time for you in month one either. My bf and I both work long and often unpredictable hours. When you want to make time to see someone, you do and you tell them in advance if the plan is tentative because of work. The "I'm too busy" doesn't fly when it comes to common courtesy like letting someone know enough in advance if you need to cancel or telling them it is tentative. I know what it's like to work 7 days a week and many hours. Still I find and make time for my bf and he does the same. Being reliable is not inconsistent with working very hard.

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Hi, this morning we had a chance to meet & talk... but ONLY on professional basis because my boss asked me to speak with him regarding some things. Well, I was trying to be nice like nothing happens between us, however, I can't deny myself that we still have 'unsolved business'... After I spoke to him it crossed my mind that I need to raise that topic to him but then I think again I'm afraid that it will not fix our relationship (even make it worst I guess...). But the hardest part is I will always feel uncomfortable & remember that we are having problem everytime I have to deal with him about work (I wonder whether he feels the same... or even forgot it already???...) & this bothers me a lot! Do you think by pretending like this then the problem will solve itself?...

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