Jump to content

Am I doing the right thing?


iceman85
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hello all. If you know my story then great but if not you can find my other threads. Theres so much to it.

 

But recently I confronted my ex when we hung out and told her that we either needed to work on being together or I was gone forever. Well now I'm gone forever. And I know it was what I needed to do but part of me tells me it was a mistake.

 

I love the girl, but shes so lost, she has no idea what she wants to do in life, she seems so depressed so broken. I want to help her, i want to rescue her. But I know I cant.

 

When I told her goodbye, I gave her a hug, made it short, but she pulled me back and hugged me more.

 

I dont know what that was, I know I should view it as nothing, but it just doesnt feel like nothing. She was saying I was hugging her too long so I made a point not to, why then pull me back like that. She says we wont get back together, but she said a few months ago we should try. I dont know, I know I need to continue doing what i'm doing and NC her, but I just need reassurance that what I'm doing is right.

 

Its so hard to say goodbye to someone who meant the world to you, that was so much a part of your life that when they left it it felt like you were ripped apart. I still love her very much but I am trying my best to move forward.

 

I'm just so lost, so hurt and so confused, I hate this empty feeling and I hate feeling the fall breeze and remembering that these were the days a year ago when our relationship was in overdrive and we would keep each other warm.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did you break up with her? Of course she's going to want to hug you more? it sucks when someone breaks up with you and you'll never get to hold them again...

 

I think most people who frequent this forum... or this 'break up thread' are the dumpees... and we are all asking why did you do it, do you feel bad?... so yeah... I'd find it hard to' asnwer' your question..

 

hope you feel better!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was the dumpee, I loved her with all my heart, but she said she fell out of love with me that her feelings were gone. She claims I lied to her all the time. We were together for a year and a half. She went to some other guy right after things broke off, but that didnt last long, then she came back and said she wanted to try again but nothing happened. Shes changed alot and its for the worse, she said this is who she really is, she isnt being held back now.

 

But I know its not her, she was never like this, never had those desires. I just love her so much but I had to do this because I was killing myself, I wanted to get back with her, and she only wanted to have me as a friend. I cant do it, I love her and wanted her back.

 

She is the one who said we arent getting back together, shes the one who said things like she'll never love me again, all these hurtful things, all the while she becomes contradictory. If i dont call her or talk to her she went crazy, when i dated someone else she went nuts and thats when the talk about wanting to get back started. Then when she says we're not getting back together and then I say that i'm gone forever and she agrees, I hug her and let go and she pulls me back. I dont get it, I feel like theres something in her still and I hate knowing that/feeling that. Because it makes me feel like we should be together but we arent.

 

I dont know I am not having the best night with this, I only did this Sunday, but I find myself still thinking about her alot, checking her myspace, facebook, IM away messages. I dont know what to do. I think I did the right thing, but Im not sure. Im so lost

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know how you feel. After a year of back and forth, and sometimes having a romantic relationship, my ex gf said she just wanted to be friends. I said no. And from that point on, we have been totally broken up. All along, she had complained that our friendship, our "connection", was lacking. But you know what - from my perspective, there was nothing wrong with our friendship and connection. And once I realized that, I realized that the problem was with her inability to connect, not with mine.

 

I don't know if this is similar to your situation, but you have to know what you want. It sounds like you wanted the whole package. She didn't. So what are you going to do, sell yourself short? No. It's up to her to change now. And if she doesn't, then yes, she's lost. You absolutely did the right thing. And when you get over the grief and loss, you will feel good about standing up for what you want.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont know I am not having the best night with this, I only did this Sunday, but I find myself still thinking about her alot, checking her myspace, facebook, IM away messages. I dont know what to do. I think I did the right thing, but Im not sure. Im so lost

 

you're not really letting go if you're still cyber-stalking her. delete her from your friends on myspace/facebook. remove her from your IM. delete all electronic traces of her on your computer. make it impossible for you to check how her life is going. turn your phone off so you don't check for messages. anything that reminds you of her physically, put it in a box in the closet. make her literally disappear from your life.

 

now the only thing that will remind you of her is the memories. that will take some time for you to stop obsessing about them. removing everything is step one, getting yourself busy so you don't have a chance to think about her is step two. try to get your life busy to the point where that is true: read, volunteer, games, work, family/friends, hobbies, working out, hiking, etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...