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I wasn't exactly sure where to put this, but this is probably the best place. On Friday my grandfather passed away. He had lung cancer and just had been in and out of the hospital for a while. A couple of weeks ago he was at the hospital and they called the whole family and told them that they didn't think he was going to make the week. The whole family was there day after day. For the first couple my step dad didn't even work (oh it was my step grandfather, but i've been around him for 12yrs so let me tell you he was my grandfather) then he was getting better and got released, a while later he was even at my house eating dinner with us, and then, it was back to the hospital Friday at 4AM and before noon he had passed. They had called everyone at 4, and everyone was there. I had to stay home to watch my sister and my baby. The day that he died was also my uncle's birthday. The wake was Monday night and the funeral Tuesday morning. Everyone was warned on the way in to try as hard as you can not to cry because my grandmother couldn't cry. When she cries she can't breath and would've ended up in the hospital herself. Although understandable, once seeing him in the casket it was alot easier said then done.

 

My step father ended up excluding himself quite well from us, my mother sisters and I. He has slept at my grandmother's since the death and actually hasn't gotten much sleep in doing so. He would do anything for his mother if he could, but the rest of the family isn't quite as helpful. I gave my step dad a bunch of hugs, and even tried to make him smile. I did accomplish a smile but you can see all the pain and lack of sleep in his face. I wish there was something I could do for him to help cheer him up but I really don't think there is. I thought of getting a card, flowers, something, but besides my own lack of money, I don't know if I should do something like that because I think it will just stir the emotions more. He's been the least social that I've EVER seen him and I know if his mother passes away now he will be a wreck. (Most of the family thinks she will pass soon after because most people thought she was going to pass before him even)

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I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

 

There is nothing that you can do for your step-dad right now except to let him know that you care, understand and that you are there for him. Are you close to his mother? Maybe you could go over there and let him have a break once in a while or just be there with the two of them?

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Wow, I am really sorry to hear about your grandfather, my heart goes out to you and the family.

 

Losing a loved one is especially tough since we go through a grievance process.

 

The most you can do to help is to be available to talk and be a shoulder to lean on.

 

Pyschology is amazing in how it effects the body's health.

 

So maybe you can just be there to talk to him and make sure that he knows he is cared for.

 

I am sorry you were faced with such a difficult curveball.

 

Hugs, Rose

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