herpes

[peaches n cream]

Hi, I'm new on this site....covers a lot of stuff..wow! I have had herpes for 10 years and still struggle with rejection from partners...just lost another one! One thing that's been helpful for me is the advice on the following site so if you have herpes you might want to check it out. link removed

It talks about relationships, dating, pregnancy etc

if you know of any other good sites, good you pass them along?Thanx

[southerngirl]

This is a tough one because its an incurable desease.

 

How do you cope with it?

[BellaDonna]

Hi there and welcome to enotalone.

 

I'm sorry you have had that experience. In order to be true to the name of this website, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

[BornToResist]

Why do you get rejected? What do you tell them, what do they say?

[chocolady]

I saw on a dating site one woman who admited having Herpes and asked only to meet the same. I thought this was a very wise thing to do, saves constant rejection. Maybe something you could think about doing.

[BellaDonna]

I do think it would be "easier" for you if you dated someone else with your condition. However, I would not limit yourself to that. As long as your honest from the beginning, that's all that matters. It might also help if when you told a partner, you had some kind of brochure with the facts so that they know when it can and can't be transmitted.

 

It might be awkward trying to find others who have herpes. It's not something obvious that you can know right away: "Hi, do you have herpes?" However maybe there is some kind of local support group in your area which could be an outlet for you to find people. Or you could try an ad as chocolady mentioned.

 

BellaDonna

[betrayedgirl]

Try link removed, link removed... there are dating sites for people with STDs.

[quietgrl]

betrayedgirl,

 

I was thinking the same thing.

 

link removed

link removed

[PittItaliano]

Hi peaches n cream

 

welcome to eNotAlone

 

I contracted herpes last December. You know that statistic that most people contract an STD from a partner that isn't aware they have it. Yea that was me. I had never even had sexual intercourse before at the point, only oral- and that's how I contracted this. I've only had three outbreaks since December and I get Acyclovir free from my college Health Center when I have an outbreak. I am too embarrassed to tell me parents so that I can have daily medication under my parents health insurance.

 

I still have a lot of trouble with it. When I do get an outbreak it's hard to get out of bed, I spend most of the time crying because it just depresses me, makes me feel dirty. Plus I guess I feel stupid for not being more careful so that I would have never gotten this.

 

Does it get easier? I mean as the years go by do the outbreaks lessen and not last as long? Is it not as bad emotionally?

 

I'm sorry to just start asking you personally all of these questions, but so far I don't know anyone else with this problem who I can ask, and I feel akward asking the nurses at the health center even though they are amazing women. I guess I just want to know somethings from someone who knows the answers because they have been through the same thing I'm going through at this point.

[mudpie]

how did u know u had genital herpes and what test did u get from the doctor to confirm HSV 2?

[Arrowsmith]

I've had herpes for 6 years now, so I know roughly what you are going through. I always wait as long as morally possible (i.e. safe) before bringing it up and have had very good success with that approach. I wonder if women are more forgiving of this kind of stuff than men are.

 

Think of it as a filter -- if a guy just wants you for sex perhaps he'll stay away -- the ones who are serious about you are more likely to take the chance.

 

I'm actually dating someone right now who doesn't have it, but sometimes I wish that she did. It would make life easier in some ways.

[PittItaliano]

Mudpie,

 

I knew I had genital herpes because I had an outbreak with all the symptoms that doctors talk about. I went to my college health center for an STD test because I freaked out and was scared that I could have somehow contracted another STD along with it. I didn't thank God.

 

The Nurse I talked to said that (since I received this disease orally) they only way to tell whether it was HSV1 or HSV2 was to take a very pricey blood test. Insurance will cover the blood test, but without insurance the nurse said it would be between $100 and $150. Since I was on my parents insurance I opted not to take the test. Two months later I had another outbreak, so I figured it had to be HSV2, the third outbreak confirmed any doubts I had.

 

I don't know if there is another way to tell whether you have HSV1 or HSV2 besides the blood test though.