Jump to content

to the guys, are you flattered or annoyed when...

oneshygal

By oneshygal
in Dating Advice

Recommended Posts

oneshygal Contributor

oneshygal

Posted
Posted

A girl is giving a lot of signs that she is interested in you, however, you are not interested in return? Would you still be flattered that she finds you attractive? Or would you try to avoid her so that she doesn't continue making eye contact?

 

I guess I'm trying to ask if you would continue a friendly relationship with her, or would you get uncomfortable with her flirtations and start getting annoyed? I'm not talking about over the top flirting, just enough to let him know you are interested.

 

 

Thoughts?

Link to comment
vermilion Rising Star

vermilion

Posted
Posted

I think you'd know if a guy were annoyed by your flirting because you'd be met with a blank stare or he'll say something rude back.

 

But I think most guys are flattered by it. And keep in mind that even if a guy flirts back it doesn't necessarily mean he's interested. Some guys are just natural flirts.

Link to comment
oneshygal Contributor

oneshygal

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Let me put it this way for me: Beggars can't be choosers.

 

If she were annoying, I may make excuses like, "I need to wash my hair" or something. But if she knew where to draw the line, I'm fine.

 

 

 

Well, I'm talking about subtle flirtations, i wouldn't be over the top. But just out of curiosity...what would you consider to be "crossing the line"???

Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Mentor

Kyoshiro Ogari

Posted
Posted
Well, I'm talking about subtle flirtations, i wouldn't be over the top. But just out of curiosity...what would you consider to be "crossing the line"???

Like if I said, "Sorry, I'm not interested" but she's back the next day with the same flirtations and even turns it up a notch. Like not getting the hint. Any subtle flirting is perfectly fine with me because we're still friends and all and it's harmless. But if it's not subtle and a relentless assault, I'm heading for the hills.

 

Perfect example: my friend had a dilerious crush on her co-worker. She told him, he said no thanks and even used the words, "You're not my type" which I know was a killer for her. But God Bless her, she was back 2 months later with the same, "I really like you, give us a chance" and again he told her she wasn't his type. Needless to say, he kept his distance and even ran away from her a few times.

Link to comment
annie24 Grand Master

annie24

Posted
Posted
Perfect example: my friend had a dilerious crush on her co-worker. She told him, he said no thanks and even used the words, "You're not my type" which I know was a killer for her. But God Bless her, she was back 2 months later with the same, "I really like you, give us a chance" and again he told her she wasn't his type. Needless to say, he kept his distance and even ran away from her a few times.

 

at which point he should have said, "Excuse me, but I am late for my doctor's appointment. He's going to check out my hemmorhoids and my raging case of herpes."

Link to comment
annie24 Grand Master

annie24

Posted
Posted

LOL - actually... I should have quoted the original line... by Jennifer Gray in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

 

"I have my father's gun, and a raging case of herpes."

 

if that doesn't work, I don't know what will!

 

hm. I like it! maybe I'll make it my sig sometime

Link to comment
now_better Community Regular

now_better

Posted
Posted

hmm, i would do the latter. a coworker of mine has shown me too many signs of "i like you" and i try to avoid her when i can (hehe, actually i avoid everybody at work). i'll be friendly, but i won't go out of my way to say hi to her. just adds fuel to an unwanted forest fire. it is very flattering though and a slight confidence booster.

Link to comment
rightfromthestart Collaborator

rightfromthestart

Posted
Posted

my 2 cents

 

i would be flattered. however if i you were not interested and it continuedf, just put up pictures in your office of your bf or gf, make sure they notice them - or talk about that great vacation u went on with hubby or wifey, and if that doesn't help - have a conversation with a friend [that is in the loop] in a place where they can overhear you and tell them that the medicine you are on if not getting rid of that nasty little thing u picked up. and if that fails - use the direct approach [get away from me you perv! i'm calling the coppers]

Link to comment
atraceofblood Rising Star

atraceofblood

Posted
Posted

I had it where a girl liked me and I just wasn't interested, so eventually I just told her straight up that I wasn't interested in her type. I like honesty and that's what I chose to do.

 

I don't avoid her whenever I see her, although I'll honestly say that it is a natural instinct to want to get away. I just say hi to her if I see her straight up. I think it's good to be friendly no matter what.

Link to comment
Markers Experienced

Markers

Posted
Posted

depends on how they went about it. I've had some girls being pretty desperate, and yeah I guess I was a big flattered at first but after a day or two I started to think like "oh no..." The better looking girl, the more flattering of course and subtle signs is good most of the time.

Link to comment
RufusDawes Enthusiast

RufusDawes

Posted
Posted

Being nice is not the answer. In this type of situation you need to be cruel to be kind, properly make her dislike you. Tell her exactly why it is you are not attracted to her, even if you need to be rude it will be better for whoever it is in the long run. They will be angry at you, find reason to possibly hate you, kill whatever feelings have been built up and be able to move on.

 

It must really suck for both parties that said feelings developed in a work place. I'd hate to have a geniune unavoidable heart clunching crush on a co-worker.

Link to comment
vermilion Rising Star

vermilion

Posted
Posted
Being nice is not the answer. In this type of situation you need to be cruel to be kind, properly make her dislike you. Tell her exactly why it is you are not attracted to her, even if you need to be rude it will be better for whoever it is in the long run. They will be angry at you, find reason to possibly hate you, kill whatever feelings have been built up and be able to move on.

 

It must really suck for both parties that said feelings developed in a work place. I'd hate to have a geniune unavoidable heart clunching crush on a co-worker.

 

Hopefully you'd initially just say you're not interested without saying why. I think most women would back off right away, w/o asking "Why not?" because having someone just flat out tell you they're not interested is embarrassing enough.

 

I usually tell them I'm flattered but always tell them up front, I like a woman with a certain look, "the girl next door type" and unfortunately you don't have it.

 

Jeez...that sounds so rude and snobby...like something a popular teen girl would say to some less popular girl. "Sorry, you just don't have it."

 

I mean, why is it even necessary to say you think the person's unnatractive?

 

Why not leave them thinking, "He's just not interested, he can't help that. I must have misread the signals,"

 

instead of, "He thinks I'm ugly/not good enough/ not smart enough/not _____ enough...."

It's usually just not necessary at all! And if she keeps on bugging you, by all means it's fine to tell her why or tell her outright she's invading your space.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...