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To late for this path?


Js_Sol
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I do not know if I should call this a commitment problem, or maybe just a lost oppourtunity. I'm going to start with my background:

 

I'm 23 and currently living with my girlfriend. We have been dating for about 1 1/2 years. To break up would just be.....catastrophic....we share bills, have a a couple credit cards under the same name and could very realistically get married and have kids someday.

 

So here's the problem. She's really the first girl I ever dated. Guys joke around about "oh he's probably going to marry the first girl that ever sleeps with him", well, that's me! Yes, I was a virgin before meeting her. So as time passes, I think about single life I didn't really enjoy. I had messed around a bit with 2 girls, and had a "girlfriend" for about a month before her (hardly enough to even count) but other than that, I had no "dating" experience.

 

I know I like my current girlfriend, but maybe it's distorted by the fact that I have nothing to compare her with. I can't stop thinking about living the life of "the dating scene", maybe getting a few more "women under my belt" to add to my experience. I know I could live my life with my current girl, and I would never cheat on her, but I don't know if I should stop before we get even more commited, and break up to chase a dream purely based on what I wish I would have done back in high school!

 

So, I'm at your mercy......advice??

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So here's the problem. She's really the first girl I ever dated.

 

You aren't going to marry her. Not because you shouldn't, but because you don't want to. It doesn't matter if she's the first or the 50th person you've dated. If you really love her, it doesn't matter. To be quite honest, the feeling I get from you is "I haven't slept with enough people."

 

I'm sorry, but you should break up. "I like her"...it's been a year and a half! If you don't love her, if you are thinking of breaking it off, do her a favor and do it.

 

You are living together, etc. Why did you do all that if you don't love her? Why did you push the relationship together so much?

 

You aren't ready for the seriousness of the relationship. Time to break it off.

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I love her to pieces. The first time I told her was about a year into it.

 

It's not just about sex either. I just see dating as "shopping around" and in this particular instant, I purchased the first thing I saw. I think all girls are going to have several positives an several negatives, it's just about finding the right match.

 

It's hard to ask for advice when I have no idea what your looking for, but to answer the question. Absolutely, I love her.

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I would describe a possible break-up as messy but catastrophic I save for when there are dependents involved.

 

I can see BOTH sides of your predicament. I married my first steady girlfriend but never saw the signs that the relationship wasn't healthy. On the other hand, you can shop around for the rest of your life, only to realise that you had the best deal to start with.

 

Only you can be the judge. I'd seek advice from a relationship counsellor and go through all details of your relationship.

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I think all girls are going to have several positives an several negatives, it's just about finding the right match.

 

That's true. If you really feel you haven't found the right match, then move on. That's an acceptable reason to stop dating someone.

 

If you are mearly looking for greener pastures, I would advise rethinking.

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