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My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months, and i want to have sex. But she is scared of her parents knowing she lost her virginity... how likely is it that parents do find these things?????, and people tell me if she goes to a doctor... but why would she?, if she hasnt ever gotten check up since elementary and shes 16....?, i mean how often to parents actually find out?

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I guess they would find out if she got pregnant, or found a pregnancy test in the trash! or if they found birth control pills in the house.


Once she starts having sex, she should make an appointment with a gynecologist. she can make an appointment through a local clinic without her parents finding out. she should get on birth control if she wants to start having sex.


but otherwise, a doctor is bound to patient confidentiality and won't (or at least is not!) supposed to tell her parents. anyways there is no way he can tell for sure that she is not a virgin unless he asks her. some women break their hymen during sports or never had one in the first place. also, some women's hymens do not break durng sex, so the hymen is not a sure fire way to tell.

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I agree with the other posters that she is quite young to jump into something so emotionally involved as sex.


I didn't start having sex until I was 23 and I still felt it was a huge jump for me.


Sometimes it's best to wait because of all that is involved, including protection, preventing pregnancy, etc.


Her parents could not physically tell that she is not a virgin.


But if she is on Birth Control, like Annie said, they may find her pills around the house, so a more discreet method may be the depo provera shot if you both just cannot wait.


It's a huge decision and step to make so make sure you both discuss it carefully as the emotions involved are amazing and maybe too much to handle at such a young age.


Hugs, Rose

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I think she made up the whole 'my parents will find out' thing because she's not ready to have sex with you yet.


Her parents won't find out unless she tells them or they catch you two in the act or they come accross birth control pills.

If they suspect, they'd probably feel too awkward to ask, or might not even care.

I mean, her parents may have been having sex at 16. As weird and gross as it is to think about, they're human too.


Don't try to talk her into it. Just wait until you're both ready and use protection.

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The only way they'd know for sure is to take a look inside her and see if her hymen's been broken lol which I doubt they'll do.


but even if they checked her hymen, that still wouldn't be proof! some women break their playing sports, others don't even break theirs, not even during sex!

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