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I chose to walk the path of grace.

I chose the path to save face.

 

I chose not to be a referee

Tryiing to figure out the devilry

What is truth and what is lie

To predict the fates and bye-n-bye.

 

I may not have a heart of gold

I may not have nerve of steel

I may not have a lot I'm told

But with the facts I've learned to deal

 

I chose to walk the path of light

I chose the path of what is right

 

I've been beat, bruised, battered to core

I've been cheated, mistreated. Lied to and more

Lessons one and all I'm told

And yes, its left me bitter cold

 

Pretty words no longer hold their sway

Its deeds and facts that now rule the way

Look at the facts they speak no lie

There's no reason to sit and cry

 

In this reality we live in is a social norm

We may not like it but to it we're born.

One and one is how Noah intended

Two not three is how a relationship is tended

 

Lessons learned and hard to mind

Rules of engagement that often bind.

 

Look to Maslow for the route to take

Air, Water, Food, Shelter, Sleep, Sex,

Used in the recipe to bake

 

 

Before the journey up the pyramid

The base must be complete to get it.

Its no game and not a lie

You can't just wallow and hope to die.

 

Safety and Security are the next in line

And to the death I will protect me and mine.

 

Love and Belongingness are mid-way through

Do not pass go until the base is due.

Self-esteem is built from there

To love yourself and self care

 

Esprit is what I reach for when all is done

Its the icing on the cake and all the fun.

 

If that base is not strong and true

Then all the troubles will start to brew

 

Tis true today I am a warrioress

Learned to live in chaos and distress

I will not tolerate being made a fool

I will not fight a silly duel.

 

I do not follow on my journey

I will not lead so there's no hurry.

I walk my own path, I'm my own master

So don't blame me for your own disaster.

 

lol.. work in progress....

"Taurus excreta cerebrum vincit"

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Thanx... but I don't see anything sweet about it. lol. I was... very ANGRY writing it. And with calm restraint. lol.

 

Angry because I'm a product of my environment and a product of circumstance. Life kicks us all in the pants what makes us who we are is how we respond and react to it.

 

Pavlov's dog... is a product of condtioning. Its learned to "react" to stimulus. And once its learned to "react" to stimuls... it is very difficult for it to re-program. Difficult... but not impossible. LOL.

 

I've lost that naivette' that is the gift of youth. Its been stolen from me.

I work at wearing rose colored glasses... take them off, and what I see is what is REAL. Sometimes the realities of what is REAL...are harsher than they need to be. You touch a stove and get burned.... you are reluctant to touch it again... arn't you.

 

And thats NOT an excuse. It is what it is.. as it is. And if it looks like what it is... you have to really work hard to prove me wrong, because that innocence of not knowing... is gone.

 

There's nothing sweet in it. Bitter sweet... possibly. LOL.

 

I guess what I was trying to say is... the ROSE COLORED GLASSES have come off... that luxery was taken from me. I haven't figured it all out... but what I HAVE figured out is ... that those who have gone before me, have outlined the PATH and JOURNEY somewhat. MASLOW's HIERARCHY is one of those Key's that if you can keep it in perspective. Points the way. For me at least. And as war torn and as tired as I am.... tools like are like a beacon. The loss of naviette was and is MY FAULT... I own it and I need to learn from it. And learn NOT to step lightly again. I allowed my "X" to cross boundaries. I didn't realize that there should be a boundary between where I started and he began. Isn't that what becoming "ONE" is all about? And where did it get me? lol. It gave him the right to violate me with word and deed. Now that I've regained "ME" back... I refuse to accept that from anyone ever again. I refuse to be addressed and likened to as the "worst scourge or blight known to mankind". I don't know what "LOVE" is... but I do know.. its not that.

 

lol... my dad told me.. if you are angry and are about to let loose... take a drink of water. You can't very well let loose with a mouth full of water can you?? lol. So its with calm restraint and a mouthful of water... that i wrote this "sweet" poem.

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