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i'm a social disaster


tackypersona
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is it true that if you're shy, you'll be shy all your life? i've been shy since 2001, and i'm sick of it. everyone who knew me from year 2001 thinks that i'm boring person, shy. i've no self-esteem in all the years i've been to school, when i came to the u.s. i didnt know english well. so i could only stay quiet and let people walk over me. i've been judged, taken advantage of, stereotyped, ignored from grades 4-7. grade 8 was better than all those years, but i thought i was still ugly with the asian face and unmanageable hair. then got a perm straight in january this year, more confidence, couldn't smile cause of malocclusion. my cheap dad wouldnt pay for braces.

9th grade started a month ago, i was the same. there's still subcultures(preppy, skater, emo etc)sometimes can't make convo, definitely can't keep one going. there isn't anything to talk about to anyone. i'm serious. i will have nothing to say to someone i know. other people seem to have tons of ideas. those people are always the popular people. need major help on making friends who dont just judge by what you wear, or looks. help on ignoring how some people listen to others convos. help on calling friends and having a neverending convo on the phone. oh and there's this popular girl who i was talking friends with last year, i didn't call her all summer, she asked why one morning. during lunch another day she asked if i had a myspace. i felt guilty lying. i did have one but i deleted because i sent her a stupid message, and i thought that myspace is boring without friends. i was afraid of what people think. teenagers are really mean these days. plus my crush problem in conversation tips forum.

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I guess that sometimes there is no way to go through it, except to go through it. My last name rhymes with so many things, that it was hard growing up. Plus, my dad was the type that would make you finish a fight.

 

I started working out in high school and things got better. I also found more of myself in high school. I also had misaligned teeth. I bought my own braces when I got older. My parents couldn't afford them. Cheap or not.

 

Even though I had buck teeth in high school, I still had plenty of dates.

 

Hang in there.

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It doesn't mean that the evolution must be convincing but I did notice that you evolved and became more accomplished. It CAN'T go all sweet and perfect everyday, with everyone plus you don't seem to have a good self esteem of yourself, especially about your physical appearance.

 

Changing ground helped me a lot to diminish my shyness by getting a new start everytime and getting a new chance time after time to make a good impression of me to people. I think that the idea is to get practice. The more you practice, the more you perform.

 

Of course, don't give up ! Everyone is gorgeous in a way or another, honestly.

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I've always been a very shy and quiet person. I was very much a social reject in High School which I guess led to me being withdrawn and reserved from there on.

 

That being said I've often surprised people and done things that others wouldn't be game to. For example I volunteers to have my head shaved for Shave for a Cure a few years ago, then went the extra step having the hair sprayed green with red spots. Then I went out on the town like that.

 

I've also done things like hosted a radio show and interviwed famous people without getting nervous, not sure if that's the same thing or not though.

 

Lately when I'm at work if I need to talk to someone for something specific I have no problems going right up to them, even when it's a Senior Executive. I guess I just put on an act where I pretend I'm not shy, I also make sure I know exactly what it is I have to tell them so I can just go in and do it.

 

I'm still a very quiet and shy person but I can put o n an act when I need to, I guess it's like I'm escaping from my self and taking on a different personality for that period of time.

 

So I guess you do stay shy and quiet, or at least I have, but there are always ways around it when the situation requires it.

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my current problem was stated at the bottom of my message: there's this popular girl who i was friends with last year, during summer i went to china, but got back a month later and i thought everyone else was hanging out everyday with their friends so i didn't call anyone. she asked why one morning. during lunch another day she asked if i had a myspace. i felt guilty lying. i did have one but i deleted because i sent her a message which IMO was embarrassing, i didn't like myspace either. then she starts to ignore me. sometimes i'm walking right infront of her and she doesnt say anything. sometimes i wanted to say hi, but she doesn't seem to notice me so i thought she didn't want me to talk to her. at lunch one day her bf told me he was transferring into my orchestra class, she was holding his backpack and standing away from me. why does she hate me all of a sudden? i want to resolve this, and i have fear of phoning her at the wrong time.

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oh people please help me i think i've social phobia. when i dialed the friend in question (above message)number i immediately hang up after the first ring cause i'm so afraid that i can't continue to convo or she's busy or she just doesn't want to talk to me. i'm so worried about what she will think of me. what if some of her friends were there and i have to make her leave her friends temporarily. i'm always thinking that her friends will ask "who was that?" i've been running away from this for a week now, i keep telling meself that i must resolve this and my low self-esteem. but i always process the negative outcome. i can't make the mental image go away. how can i just easily "be myself"? im even worried than my real self will be boring. it's easier said than done!

 

i've always went to the bathroom with my normal friends to hide. because i don't want her and my crush to see me. we still go outside to wait for the bell, but i hide behind my friends. i hate doing this as they probably think i'm weird.

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