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does this conversation sound like i might have trouble?


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hello, i contacted my mother's ex boyfriend today to see if i could go to his house to pick up my some of my mother's things that she had left there. this is how the conversation went.

 

me: hello i would like to know if i could come and pick of my mother's things if you still have them.

 

him: no

 

me: no you don't have her things anymore

 

him: yes i have her stuff

 

me: well can i come and get things?

 

him: should i let you? i have plans next weekend..... i don't know.

call me back later i'm in the middle of something.

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Your mother is already under a lot of stress from this relationship, correct? I think it's sweet that you are looking to take care of this for her.

 

However there is absolutely NO reason for you to try to "make nice" with him. I would try to contact the authorities to see if there's someone who could go with you. He is much older than you and you do not want to make anything more painful than it has to be. Just get it done quick and easy. If he doesn't cooperate, make him. Do not let him bully you or push you around with this.

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Playing devil's advocate here for a moment....

 

It's entirely possible you did call at a bad time. Make another call at a different time/day, ask if he had a few moments before you launch into your request and see how it goes.

 

If he's still uncooperative, then you might want to follow some of the suggestions you've already gotten above.

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I doubt that the police would go with you to pick up her things unless arrangements have been made and there is a chance of violence.

 

The reason is that this is a civil not a criminal matter and her best option would be to file suit against him in court - if the items are not hugely valuable that can be done fairly inexpensively in small claims court. Serving the papers for a lawsuit may make him decide to hand them over and avoid the fuss.

 

But I agree with S2S that another attempt at retrieving them should be made first.

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I agree that you have options - but I would tread gently at first, to get your stuff back in one piece and undamaged. Maybe ask a mutual friend to try a bit of mediation, to go and pick them up? I know playing nice is really hard in this situation, but you really want your mother's things back, rather than getting one over on him.

 

Good luck!

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hello, i contacted my mother's ex boyfriend today to see if i could go to his house to pick up my some of my mother's things that she had left there. this is how the conversation went.

 

me: hello i would like to know if i could come and pick of my mother's things if you still have them.

 

him: no

 

me: no you don't have her things anymore

 

him: yes i have her stuff

 

me: well can i come and get things?

 

him: should i let you? i have plans next weekend..... i don't know.

call me back later i'm in the middle of something.

 

Well, you're just going to have to do a domestic standby. Call the police and request a domestic standby. He won't get arrested or anything like that. The police will just inform him that you have the rights to obtain your mother's property and they will escort you in and observe while you get the things you need to get. During this time, he can't say a thing to you about it. It's simple, no one gets hurt, and it's a very legal way to do things. That way, he can't say that you stole things from his house.

 

I had to do this to my mother before. She kicked me out and wouldn't let me retrieve my property, so I called the cops and had them do a domestic standby. Simple as that.

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I doubt that the police would go with you to pick up her things unless arrangements have been made and there is a chance of violence.

 

The reason is that this is a civil not a criminal matter and her best option would be to file suit against him in court - if the items are not hugely valuable that can be done fairly inexpensively in small claims court. Serving the papers for a lawsuit may make him decide to hand them over and avoid the fuss.

 

But I agree with S2S that another attempt at retrieving them should be made first.

 

They will, in the United States. So I guess it depends on where the original poster is from.

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