For Every Parent... (or anyone who wants to weigh in)

[sonjam]

So very true, and that is why i believe in communication, honesty and trust. My child is only 2 and a half, but I hope to groom a relationship of trust and honesty. I will always answer all her questions honestly and truthfully, and I hope to keep the communication channels open enough that she wants to ask me the questions instead of her ignorant tweener buddies, who probably know even less than her!

[pooh-bare]

.. what do you think makes a happy and self confident child? How can a parent decrease a child's likelihood to use drugs, or engage in any other harmful behaviors?

Once kids get to a certain age they discover that we as parents can only control so much. They are going to do whatever it is they are going to do. And unfortunately we can't stop it since we can't be with them 24/7.....Always having an open relationship with them I think helps. Allowing them to talk to us about anything and everything with honesty helps. This along with keeping them involved in extra cir. activities and with church has been successful with me..... But I don't believe it's possible to decrease their likelihood completely.

[Gammy]

The only thing I can say; you ALWAYS have to be the parent; and not try to be your childs best friend. I had an experience with my daughter; when she was 13....I knew nothing about drugs; I thought the problem was BOYS....I was wrong; it was drugs. My daughter is almost 38 now; and the problem is now MEN...but, now I CANNOT voice my opinion; just have to be supportive...wheather I like it or not! Parenting does not come with a hand book; it is trial and error; all the way...hardest job in the world! We all make mistakes at parenting; but. "When you know better; you do better"; have you ever heard that one? I have a felling you watch Oprah too. Good luck; this is one road you HAVE to go down...won't be easy; it will be bumpie; but you will do fine....God bless you

[n83]

I don't believe it's possible to decrease their likelihood completely.

 

Very true Pooh... but I think you're on the right track, keeping kids affiliated with church and activities seems to work well for a lot of parents

 

"When you know better; you do better"

Hey Gammy

Yeah I heard that quote on Oprah a few days ago... It's a really good one. I'm sorry about your daughter.. hopefully one day she'll realize how much you have been through with her, and she'll get things figured out!

[Ians Mommy]

It's been awhile since anybody posted on here but I figured I'd put my 2 cents in.

 

My dad was a heroin addict until I was 13. I knew about it from 8 on and all that time he FORBID me from doing drugs. Soo... I was a pothead by 11. I started doing coke at 14. I drank at 13. Started smoking cigarettes at 12. From him forbidding me to do them, I think it made me WANT to do all of it behind his back. I've been clean from all drugs for a year and 3 months and even before I got pregnant, I barely drank. Kill me for it, but I do still smoke. I cut back to a pack a week when I found out I was pregnant but I would not try to quit again. I still have a feeling that the stress from me trying to quit when I was pregnant a year and a half ago caused me to miscarry. Even though I've smoked my entire pregnancy, I do not plan to smoke in front of my son.

 

I feel that if you 100% forbid your children from doing things, they'll just go behind your back and do it as I did. I should have learned from my father but I didn't. I've always been rebellious and still to a point I am.

 

When my son is old enough, I'm going to be open with him and tell him of what I went through with my father and what I personally went through with drugs before he was born and just let him know that it would REALLY disappoint me and his father if he messed with drugs.

[n83]

Even though I've smoked my entire pregnancy, I do not plan to smoke in front of my son.

 

You should really look up the 10000 things that kids have problems with when their mothers smoke inside the womb... Other than that, I'm not going to comment further.