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Acted impulsively with a shy guy- I'M SO STUPID!!!


vermilion
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I have a crush on this really quiet sort of shy guy who lives literally 3 doors down. He and I have some mutual friends and we've talked in the same group but never really one on one. Anyway, we used to ride the same bus, but now he drives his car to and from school.

 

I don't know if he likes me or not but when I directed a question to him personally once he blushed and stumbled over his words and our friend joked, "Aw, I think someone has a crush!" I wanted to punch her, I don't know why, but I felt so flustered.

 

And I catch him staring at me in the class we share when one of my guy friends (jokingly) hugs me and flirts with me. And I'm a little worried he thinks of me as some dumb, loud girl who flirts with lots of guys- which I'm NOT. It's just that that guy friend brings out the obnoxious in me.

 

I randomly decided to sit down at his table today (he has a table all to himself when all the other tables are full- so lonely looking!).

 

I just plopped my backpack down and said something like, "Hey! I know you! What's up?" He looked at me and smiled with a funny look on his face like, "Oookay." so I just kept walking until I went out the door to talk to someone else. Yes, I know, smooth. ](*,)

 

I didn't talk to him all class, my plan was to sit down and charm his pants off (not literally) and I completely froze up and couldn't say anything.

 

My friend came over and started joking around like, "Hey cutie, what's your name?" (Yeah we have a stupid sense of humor) We then just talked the rest of free time while he sat there and stared at me a lot (maybe I had something on my face- but hopefully it's good staring!) and everytime I looked at him he's looking the other way,etc.

 

At the very end I randomly said,"I'm not stalking you or anything just wanted more leg room." And then said how lucky he was he already had his license and car, etc. I asked him a few boring questions like when he got his license, about his car (which I honestly don't give a crap about but is apparently his pride and joy) which he answered.

 

](*,) god I'm an idiot! For some reason I felt really embarrassed and I'm able to flirt with other guys naturally, but he makes me SO nervous.

 

Woah, a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but anyway:

 

Did I come off as too aggressive or creepy?

 

How can I tell if a guy is quiet because he hates my guts or is just shy?

 

*Oh yeah, and if this helps I'm a sophomore and he's a senior.

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hmmm... he sounds a bit shy.... (as you all ready know ) and he might be a bit defense about someone being so forward with him.... He might be wondering how genuine your atitude really is? In my shy days I would be very suspicious of a girl that would just come up to me and talk to me for no good reason..... I'm sure hes just nervous around you, and doesn't know what to say... I think the small talk about his car probably helps actually since its something he's interested in..... Most people I know arent quiet because they hate someone.. they are quiet because they don't know what to say.... I would try to relax a bit when you talk to him and try to keep it casual.. you guys have a class together, and he lives by you... maybe try to set up a study session? That seemed to work wonders with me back in HS.

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Personally...I'm a lot like the guy your talking about, really shy when it comes to talking to girls especially ones im attracted too. The fact that you said he started to blush and stumble over his words tells me that he may be interested in you....because it sounds like somethin I would do when I'm talking to a girl I'm attracted to lol. Also you said he looks at you a lot, which again sounds like somethin I would do if I'm attracted to someone...Personally I think he's interested in you...Just do your best to stay calm when talking to him...Also I agree with Maverick32x, talking about something that he's interested in such as his car may open him up to be more comfortable around you and talk to you more. I think you will find that the more you talk to him the easier it will be...anyways hope this helps...by the way...do you know what kinda car he's got? lol

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shy guy in the house. here's an easy way to let him know that you like him. write a note "hey, i think you're cute and would love to hangout/get to know you better. here's my number (xxx) xxx-xxxx. i'm not doing anything this friday... ". if that's not anymore obvious, the guy is hopeless. good luck.

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shy guy in the house. here's an easy way to let him know that you like him. write a note "hey, i think you're cute and would love to hangout/get to know you better. here's my number (xxx) xxx-xxxx. i'm not doing anything this friday... ". if that's not anymore obvious, the guy is hopeless. good luck.

 

 

That is an ideo however I wouldn't really do it...Mainly because it could freek him out, I was reading a thread on here yesterday about a guiy who tried that approach and it freaked the girl out...She tries to avoid him now, however this is only how I feel about it and the decision is completely yours. Good Luck!

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He might be wondering how genuine your atitude really is?

 

I'm not popular or anything so why would he think I'm not being genuine. But then again I feel that way about almost every guy that shows even a little interest in me so I know what you mean.

 

So how can I show I'm 'genuine'?

 

...do you know what kinda car he's got? lol

 

haha, yeah a crappy old truck. But any car's better than bumming rides from friends and borrowing your mom's car.

 

And I hope you're right and he is interested.

 

"hey, i think you're cute and would love to hangout/get to know you better. here's my number (xxx) xxx-xxxx. i'm not doing anything this friday... ".

 

Woah, sounds gutsy, I could never do that.

 

Thanks for your replies!

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vermilion, do it. do it otherwise, you're going to be making a post here every other week like "yesterday i was walking by him and he... looked at my feet!" or "i was talking to my friends and i think i saw him look over at me... twice!"

 

sorry, but you're really just killing yourself doing this. just write the note, when class is over, drop by and say "i'm too shy to say this in person, but i wrote this", give it to him and walk away. then it's obvious and you can move on in life. and if you REALLY want an answer, just wait for him to read it and see his response in person!!! you can do it. i believe in you.

 

the sooner you do it, the happier you will be (either way it goes). trust me.

 

edit: if a girl did that to me, i would say "wow... that's really sweet. this friday huh? sure, i'll give you a call." it's not too much at all. it's sweet and it's to the point.

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its not so much about being genuine that you need to work on.. maybe trust? If you are making the effort to talk to him, and actually DO talk to him and have some meaningful conversations... it will be EASY to go on a date or anything like that once he starts to get to know you a bit.. if he lives right near you, it shouldnt be THAT hard to strike up a conversation!! maybe ask for a ride home??

 

the note is pretty risky unless you know they are interested in you and are just too shy to make your move.. and apparently you arent too sure about it.. PLUS you arent entirely comfortable with it which is ok But ya, a straight forward approach defintly wouldn't hurt....

You've got alot of options.. the only thing you know for certain is that you should do SOMETHING Good luck keep us updated~

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If you feel like writing the note then go ahead it's your choice, but if someone did that to me then it would make me think about how un-confident they really are...personally I feel as if un-confident person has to be showed the way...kinda like they have to be taken care of in a way I guess...like if the other persons shy then your the one trying to start conversations and wondering what you should do on a date and stuff...I know it may be hard to understand what i just said lol but hopefully you get it...anyways I'm not saying you have to be taken care of or anything...i dont mean to offend you but if someone gave me a letter like that then thats just how I would feel personally..anyways best of luck with ya...hope everything works out perfect for you...i wouldnt mind havin an old truck...something I can go off-roading in lol

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I'm a shy guy and I would LOVE it if a girl was gutsy enough to ask me out. Unlike girls, I don't think guys are creeped out or turned off by women who who do the chasing. In fact, it is our only hope. If he really likes you, he'll accept your invitation but perhaps a verbal invitation is better than a written one. Don't be nervous, just know he's ten times more nervous than you are.

 

If he doesn't like you, well you didn't lose anything by asking But it looks like he does like you.

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](*,) God I'm an idiot! For some reason I felt really embarrassed and I'm able to flirt with other guys naturally, but he makes me SO nervous.

 

Woah, a lot longer than I meant for it to be, but anyway:

 

Did I come off as too aggressive or creepy?

 

How can I tell if a guy is quiet because he hates my guts or is just shy?

 

*Oh yeah, and if this helps I'm a sophomore and he's a senior.

Pretty long letter, but the up-shot is yeah, the the guy is sweet on you. He might just want to nail ya. It's probably that.

You aggressive and creepy? You definitely don't come accross that way. Hey, you don't work for the IRS already, do you? Probably not yet, but you might go to law school one day... then god help us all!

I wouldn't worry a whit about this temporary set-back if I were you.

You're going to continue to do just fine, I Tell You What.

Hank Hill is rarely wrong.

Hope to see you on the board! Ruh Roh

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Pretty long letter, but the up-shot is yeah, the the guy is sweet on you. He might just want to nail ya. It's probably that.

You aggressive and creepy? You definitely don't come accross that way. Hey, you don't work for the IRS already, do you? Probably not yet, but you might go to law school one day... then god help us all!

I wouldn't worry a whit about this temporary set-back if I were you.

You're going to continue to do just fine, I Tell You What.

Hank Hill is rarely wrong.

Hope to see you on the board! Ruh Roh

 

What?

 

its not so much about being genuine that you need to work on.. maybe trust? If you are making the effort to talk to him, and actually DO talk to him and have some meaningful conversations... it will be EASY to go on a date or anything like that once he starts to get to know you a bit.. if he lives right near you, it shouldnt be THAT hard to strike up a conversation!! maybe ask for a ride home??

 

Yeah, I guess. I was thinking about asking him for a ride home since we live so close and he passes by me everyday on the way to his car. And I hate riding the stupid, crowded bus.

 

But I think that would be a step in the opposite direction since he might think I'm one of those girls who just uses a guy to get rides, money, emotional support, etc.

 

I don't know...

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I don't think he would think you were "using him for a ride"..... He isn't going out of his way to drive you anywhere

PLUS, its a great oppurtunity to get to know him!! How far of a ride is it for you?

 

But ya, I'm not sure what "Ruh Roh" was trying to say, but if it was "hes just trying to nail you" I'm going to have to go with a big fat NO.

 

Good luck, and you really should make some kind of a move or else you'll always be wondering!!! (thats the worst!!!)

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Ah, every time I sit near him one of my guy friends whines that I don't sit with him, so I end up moving to sit with him and then feel stupid.

 

Today I went up to him and jokingly said, "I'm not riding that crowded bus today. You're giving me a ride. I'll be waiting for you. And if you say no I'll just jump in the back." I then smiled at him.

 

He smiled and looked at me like I was crazy (jokingly..I think

 

He wasn't saying anything and the silence was making me uncomfortable... I think he felt uncomfortable to because he was blushing.

 

I then just said, "I'm just kidding...not trying to get on your nerves."

 

He just said, "I don't mind."

 

I then walked off to talk to my friend again cause it felt too weird just standing there.

 

Later on I thought about actually saying, "So, I'm riding with you right?" When I saw him after school let out.

 

But I just ended up saying nothing and smiling at him as I walked by, and he smiled back but I think he was just being nice.

 

I don't know, I think I need to stop being so blunt and weird. Probably creep him out. haha...

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I don't know, I think I need to stop being so blunt and weird. Probably creep him out. haha...

 

I don't think you're being blunt at all. You're all the way on the other side way inside the "subtle" range. He probably has zero idea what's going on, and this random girl keeps sitting by him for awhile and moves somewhere else. Three years ago (when I was 16), it would just tick me off if I girl kept tickling me (we especially don't like getting poked in that tickley spot in the side); then I'd just think she's weird.

 

I don't think there's anything much more can be said than "just tell him." And, yes, I do know how hard that can be to .

 

(PS, sorry if that sounded harsh. Just makes me wonder how many girls may have liked me, but never did/said anything to make themselves known at all.)

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(we especially don't like getting poked in that tickley spot in the side)

 

Haha...we know this and that's why we do it.

 

Well, at least I do it to guy friends, and they do it back. It irritates me too (but not too much)

 

And I've only sat near him 3 times, but my friend either calls me over or sits near me and talks to me the whole time so I don't get a chance to say anything to the guy I like.

 

And how am I being subtle? I think I'm being pretty obvious.

 

make the effort to touch him. dont be sexual, but do it 2 or 3 times so he gets th point. also, maybe ask if he can help you with something??

 

I don't generally like to touch guys I don't even know. I think this would be violating his space.

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Haha...we know this and that's why we do it.

That's just cruel

 

And how am I being subtle? I think I'm being pretty obvious.

We're pretty dumb. Let's go with that. Trust in that he has zero idea what's going on. It's possible he has some clue, but him having no clue is the base solution. Solve that by being super duper blunty obviousness (yes, I know), and you'll find out what he thinks one way or another and you don't have to worry about it anymore. I still think he has no idea what's going on, especially if you have other guy friends that you hang with as well.

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Later on I thought about actually saying, "So, I'm riding with you right?" When I saw him after school let out.

 

But I just ended up saying nothing and smiling at him as I walked by, and he smiled back but I think he was just being nice.

 

I don't know, I think I need to stop being so blunt and weird. Probably creep him out. haha...

 

omg, go for it. after school, totally say that. let us know how it goes!

 

edit: and i agree w/ Hangin10, guys are fairly retarded at this stuff especially if he's shy. i would know.

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If you're flirty with other guys/or guy friends he may just think your treating him like any other guy and won't be able to register that your interested in him.

 

Though by now he has had plenty of hints to work with if he is interested.He does sound like a shy person and your super confidence/extroversion may have increased his shyness,he might be thinking "how am i going to talk to this super confident extroverted chick".

 

But desite any shyness I think if a guy really likes a girl he will at least attempt to show her in some way that her hints/advances are not unwanted and willl react in some way.

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