Erection Problems

[Darb]

I am a 29 year old male and I was at my girlfriends house last night and we were fooling around and I could not get an erection! I got one for a little while but when I put the condom on and it was time to go........ it went bye-bye.

 

I will admit this has happened a couple times before but usually I have no problem..... this really worries her and she always questions herself and me when this happens and she does get mad over it!

 

I am very attracted to her and when we have sex it usually lasts at least 20-30 minutes or longer, but she even questions that wondering why it takes me so long and I tell her i try and control myself so I dont cum to early.

 

I always get off when we do have sex but she doesnt....sometimes she does sometimes she doesnt...but she says it is hard for her to "get off" and one time she told me she has to imagine things and concentrate to have an orgasm, I asked her what she imagined and she said she imagined having sex at other places and different situations with me while we are having sex.

 

I will admit I masterbate quite a bit so Im sure that doesnt help the problem but my erection problem has only happened 2-3 times in 3 months but when it does it causes alot of stress.

 

She really hurts my feelings when this happens by some of the stuff she has said and makes me feel worthless! here are some things she has said

 

I must not be attracted to her

I must have another woman besides her

I am only 29 her ex husband was 35 and he could have sex with her 5 times a day! I heard this last night

she talked about gettin me some viagra

she asked if I was GAY! which is just crazy!

 

this has only happened mabye 3 times in 3 months and we have probably had sex 20 times the past 3 months

 

mabye my sex drive is going down? I love having sex with her but when this happnes it totally turns me off and kinda depresses me!

 

any advice?

[2900]

were u drinking alcohol while this happened? i've found a lot of guys can't get an erection when they're drunk or really buzzed.

[dogheadma]

Wow! She sounds very demanding and insensitive. You might ask her if she can express her needs to you in a more considerate manner. As far as the erection thing goes, I personally have never experienced your situation but it sounds pretty normal and I don't think you have a problem.

[Dako]

Lots of guys freak out the first time that happens, and an insecure partner can add to it, especially one as insensitive as yours.

Sometimes thinking about the problem makes it worse, so I'd recommend a break from sex.

 

No offense intended, but is your gf also that inconsiderate outside the bedroom? If so, she may be a factor.

[Darb]

no i wasnt drinking alcohol.....no she is very nice and sweet outside the bedroom normally...we have had some problems but nothing too major.

 

She just made me feel like crap last night, I did start the whole making out deal and wanted to have sex but I just couldnt get an erection, later that night she told me to take care of her with my hand and while I was doing that I got an erection and she gave me oral sex......and after i got off she got mad again and said i just wanted oral sex all the time, and thats the only thing that excites me! and I couldnt get her off last night!

 

ohhhhh and she will not let me give her oral sex for some reason, I did once for like 5 minutes but she kinda pulled me up and didnt want anymore, and I LOVE to do it.

 

Just thinking about it makes it worse it seems

[markfromark]

sounds like she is very insensitive and you might have to rethink your relationship.

 

Erection problem usually occur in your head but I recommend stopping/reducing to masturbate.

Masturbation is like having a second sex partner and you reduce your availability for your primary partner.

[Dako]

I've had it happen, and it came back to life after a rest.

 

This even happens to those proud guys.

[sparkle1]

OK...erection 'problem' i wouldn't call it. Most men have a blip at some time or another...and the way she has reacted is totally unreasonable!!

 

I think women are under the impression that getting turned on is always really easy for men. that they don't have problems sometimes - stress, nerves, diet, health, work, friends, all have an impact - on both sexes.

 

Its drives me mad when i hear women saying the crap she's said to you.

 

i think your g.f is very insecure and insensistive. I think you really need to address the remarks she made, and explain why it hurt you and dented your ego. She can't get away with talking to you like that!

 

I'm sure your relationship is fine, but it won't be if you let her to continue to treat you this way. you need to tell her to back off.

 

She was probably feeling a little frustrated that you finished last night and she didn't. It isn't a competition. she should know that. and tell her to never compare or tell you about her 'ex' in any situation - especially not in the bedroom...my god!!!!!!!!

 

I'm sure next time your erection will be fine and will stay... don't stress about it....but sort her out!

 

hugs xx

[Darb]

thanks for the good words.....yea its not like it happens all the time but when it has.......she gets very upset and says some real mean stuff!

 

I will talk about it with her for sure