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New thing an LDR to me, I don't know how to think?


ps212875
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To keep things short to the point(ldr=long distance relationship)

 

I have been seeing this girl for about 2.5 months or so- for the last 3 almost 4 weeks I spent 24/7 literally with her- we never got sick of each other at all, no fights, no issues NOTHING,,, we were both in between jobs and whatnot, she has a job now and I have one starting in 2 weeks. So everything financially n stuff is ok, never was an issue,

 

But anyways

 

We spent so much time together yet we never fought about anything, the L-word(love) came out of me about a week ago and since then it feels like I could not see myself with anyone anywhere else in the world right now. And for me that's a first, cuz I never was this close to anyone.(Not even Family) Period.

 

So onto the LDR,

 

my job I'm taking up has me going away for 3 months to one city then another 6 weeks in another city and so on for the next 1.5 years. It's not like armed services or anything so no restraints there. I will be home maybe one weekend a month, but that will be pushing it. I told her what was happening about a month ago during that 4 weeks of bliss so to let her make the decision of if she wants to get involved with me or not based upon what will happen. She said she will always wait for me, and I know her to a T, she doesn't make * * * * up. That was over a month ago and with me expecting to starting 2nd week of October or a bit sooner, it has me on edge now,

 

I don't want to lose her at any cost. But I realize that LDR's are a * * * * * and make things really hard, and I would let her go if I felt it was a burden on her.

 

What the hell do I do? How do I cope with this? Or should I cope with this?

 

each time I leave I will be at least 1000 miles or more away so its not like I can drive back every time, I would have to fly.

 

Especially with the holidays coming up.

 

This time now is awesome, but I am actually dreading the day I leave cuz I know how much emotion will be flying around.

 

So back to my question.

 

Any advice or has anyone gone through extended time frames with an LDR and it still worked out well?

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LDR can work - if you keep up the contact on a very regular basis!

As long as you both know what you are getting into. You have to discuss things - indepth - like if someone else asks you out...what each of you will do...how you will cope without the physical contact...

 

There are tough times like when you are out with your friends and you cant date anyone else - and you see other couples and miss the physical affection, in this way, LDR can be LONELY! I've done it for 6 months and it drove me mad....as I truly missed the physical contact.

 

But if you give each other enough love and affection through email, instant messaging and phone calls - it will help you get through.

As long as you discuss in depth what its going to mean for both of you.

 

You could always try out LDR for a while and see how its working for you both.

 

You might want to allow each other to date other people after a while. It really depends on how strong your feelings and how well you communicate verbally with each other.

 

Good luck! A year and a half can fly in- believe me and if she is worth the wait then do it!!!

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I agree with Goldfish.

 

clearly your feelings for her are very strong. thereforeeee, walking away would hurt like hell - and you'll always wonder "what if".

 

LDR's are hard work on the physical side of the relationship -which may not be as bad a thing as you're thinking. without the physical - you'll get to know her in a much deeper way - as all you'll have is words to express emotions and feelings.

 

just keep communicating and be prepared to evaluate the relationship as and when. 1.5 years, is a long time - but its not like you're never going to see her with in that time.

 

good luck - if its meant to be. You'll be. regardless of distance x

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Invest in an awesome longdistance calling plan!

 

No seriously. You have an end-point in sight, that is a good thing. And you can make this work. Both of you have to be aware of what you are getting into, like other posters said it can be lonely. The time is sometimes full of disappointments. I am sitting in month 3 of a (hopefully only) 2 year LDR, so I can feel your pain and anxiety. But you are able to go and see her periodically, that'll be good. It will help a lot. And talk. Talk about stupid things, about serious things, about daily things, whatever. I have gotten into the habit of emailing my boyfriend everyday, even if i have spoken to him. In the emails I give a mundane rundown of my day, but I feel (and he feels similarly) that I am sharing all parts of my life with him.

 

Good luck, it isn't easy. But you will know if she is worth it or not right away.

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