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The "Ex" Files


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Hi all,

I am new to this site and was just wondering if I could get some feedback or advice from you all. OK, here is my situation....I have been going out with my bofriend for 4 years. The problem is his ex girlfriend. He broke up with her a week before he met me. (during their 81/2 year relationship, they were off and on out of comfort. He wasn't looking for a relationship when he and I met, but it turns out it lead into something really serious. It was truthfully love at first sight for us. We were attached at the hip and still are. We purchased a house and we are currently living together. We have talked about our future together from the very beginning of our relationship and the rest is history..


He was in his past relationship for 81/2 years. They were broken up more than they were together. He wasn't really attracted to her but loved her family and her family's friends. She also planned his goals fro him...picked classes he should take in school....was very judgemental... family has a million dollar business.When they were together, he went out all of the time. And really never spoke of a future together. Sorry this is long,,,,there is a lot to write, but i will try to make is as short as possible. The only thing is is that the "ex" still has contact with his mom and dad. I am very close with his parents and they call me their daughterinlaw and love me......but the ex is still kinda in the pic.


The problem is that while they were together, she became really good friends with his cousin and her family. And they sorta share the same friends (his cousin and her). IT is very awkward..... well, uncomfortable, for the us. Especially since she is still in the picture and will always be in the picture. His cousin just had a baby and we were all invited to the christening. I am friends with his cousin as well. It is very awkward, b/c the ex was hanging with my future in laws and making a lot of eye contact with me trying get my attention. this was noticed by others at the party and brought to my attention. She went to this party with her fiance and questioned my boyfriend as to why he was ignoring her and disassociating himself from her. it was very strange.... She did this of course when her fiance and i were not there....


My boyfriend doesn't want to have any parts of her, however, he can't stop his family from being friends with her...As to his mother/father's realtionship with her, i would say its here and there, but that is it..... IT was kind of a bad breakup only because he and I met right when the broke up and have remained together ever since building a future together.... it is just an uncomfrotable situation for both he and i and I kind of feel a little insecure about the whole situation. Not because of the way she looks, he has made it known that he is not attracted to her and wasn't attracted to her b/c of her looks (not that pretty or his type as he says). So in that dept. she is not a threat...i don't know...maybe i am overreacting..but she just makes my stomach turn into one big gigantic knot... and she lets my nerves get to me...is this a normal situation???? PLEASE HELP!!!!

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Hi, and welcome to eNotalone! I hope you'll be with this forum for some time to come, so I don't want to alienate you in any way with the following request:


Is it possible you could break up your post in paragraphs? It would be a lot easier to read, which might help you get even more responses.


Thanks in advance!

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This is a tricky situation and from my point of view I think your boyfriend would do well to let those cousins know that she was being a bit pushy with you all at the get together and it was making both he and you uncomfortable. They are family after all and they should consider your feelings now as you are the current gf.


She is their friend too so that's where it gets tricky. You can't exactly stop them from being friends yet I'm sure there are other parties they can invite her too that would not include both of you.



Not sure how the family would take it if both of you just stopped going to functions that she is also invited to or if you are willing to go that far. That would depend how much this really bothers you.

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After I posted on here I remembered something.


My ex husbands ex gf attended our wedding. My ex in laws invited her family because they were very good friends. My ex sisters in law sat at her table for awhile during the reception. She was even in our wedding video with a look on her face like someone had died...lol ... no class.


There are some exes that just don't go away......

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